You put that where????

I haven't experienced many objects where they shouldn't be in the short time I spent in the ER except for popcorn kernels in ear canals. Two separate kids had this problem. One kernel came out easily when flushed. The other swelled from the water and after trying various forceps, etc. with much discomfort to the patient, the MD referred the patient to the local ENT clinic for removal.

I had one guy fall butt naked in the vegetable bin and accidentally landed on a carrot. Perforated his bowel.

I had another patient that came in with a ball in her lady parts. I thought ok...baseball, football, basketball??? What kind of ball? Upon questioning the ball had been in place for three days...when asked why she choose a blizzard at 3am to have it removed...she stated.

It stopped.

Guess she needed something to play with.

How about a "professional" dancer who did (tricks) with glass bottles, which broke into many pieces while still inside an orifice. So much blood...

How about a "professional" dancer who did (tricks) with glass bottles, which broke into many pieces while still inside an orifice. So much blood...

Reading that brought a squeal of horror, because I'm betting the orifice in question was not a mouth, ear, or nose, was it.

And happen to run around the house naked and accidentally sit on such items all the time

The term I've become most familiar with in my area is that they 'fell' on it.

I've broken, and accidentally laughed out loud while assisting the Physician, Physician's Assistant, and Supervisor on Duty remove a rather large cap which belonged to an economy(?) sized bottle of lubricant. The cap was lodged against the cervix. And the patient claimed it'd been there for a week. Anyway, judging by the degree of unpleasant matter we were greeted with, I asked the Physician if it was leap year and couldn't suppress laughing. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one. And the patient was consciously sedated for the procedure.

I had one guy fall butt naked in the vegetable bin and accidentally landed on a carrot. Perforated his bowel.

I had another patient that came in with a ball in her lady parts. I thought ok...baseball, football, basketball??? What kind of ball? Upon questioning the ball had been in place for three days...when asked why she choose a blizzard at 3am to have it removed...she stated.

It stopped.

Are u serious???? Bahahahaha! The carrot's bad enough - the ball?! Ack!!!!

Anne, RNC