You put what??!!!! were???!!

When I was little I vaguely remember shoving 2 baby aspirins up my nose. It burned and that's all I remember about it. Don't know why I remember that, it was 45 years ago!

A young boy put two small magnets up his nose and they attached right at the septum. Fortunately, it didn't take much effort to take them out. One came out and the other followed right away.

My niece was deaf in one ear since the age of four. Her mother, an extreme fundamentalist Christian, did not believe in doctors and instead took poor Meredith to the chiropractor for her ear problems. (My sister in law also did not believe in immunizations, so she had a "doctor" in Dallas falsify their shot records so they could go to school.)

Eventually, when she was old enough, Meredith went to a doctor about her painful, deaf ear. There were beads in there that she'd put in there when she was little bitty. The doctor removed the beads, and now Meredith can hear normally.

Two of my three kids were guilty. One with a pencil eraser in the ear canal (took him to the Dr. who couldn't "get it" - I ended up doing it --- he charged me anyway!). A bead in the nare for my daughter --- just stayed home for that one --- after all, I had the experience :0)

My aunt woke up with a hugely swollen nostril as a toddler. They took her to the doctor worried that something was wrong. It turned out that the day before she had gotten hold of a dried bean and stuffed it up her nose. Overnight, it absorbed the moisture in her nose and tripled in size.

My oldest daughter stuck a rock in her ear at daycare when she was 2.5. I had to take her to an ENT to get it out, the pediatrician refused to even try saying that she was worried it would crack and damage the ear drum because my daughter had stuck it in so deep. I didn't have insurance at the time, so it was a very expensive piece of gravel.

When I was a kid there was some stupid song on the radio about putting beans in your ears, so I did. One got stuck and infected. Boy did that hurt.

My sister put a piece of macaroni up her nose. COOKED macaroni. It's hollow, so no trouble breathing. It's also quite soft and breaks apart when Mom tries to pull it out with tweezers. Mom and sis went to ER, and my best friend's mom came to sit with me. The best part? Mom was too frazzled to tell Mrs. D. that I was grounded from TV, so I watched Tom & Jerry cartoons all afternoon. I really should ask Mom how they got the macaroni out.

When my brother was about 3, he was playing in the bathtub with one of those little pipes that you pour bubbles in and then blow them back out (the ones that look like smoking pipes...). Well, being the curious little boy that he is, he decided to stick the thing on the end of his member. Well...things got a little "stiff" and the pipe got stuck. We all heard crazy screams coming from the bathroom (and yes...I know he was alone, but the bad parenting lecture can be saved for later...that's a whole other bag of issues!) and me and my Dad went running in to see him flailing about with the pipe stuck to himself. I still crack up every time I think about it. Luckily with a little cold water it came right off!

When I was little my grandma was playing a game with me using 3 walnut shells and put a bean (switching them around so I could guess which shell was covering the bean). When it was time to leave she gave them to me to take home and while I was in the car I put the bean way up my nose and started panicking. We had to stop at my other set of grandparents' house along the way so they could point a flashlight up my nose and take turns trying to remove the bean.

I don't remember how it came out.

After giving my then 2 (maybe 1 1/2 yr old) toddler a bath, I was letting her run around naked...it was a very hot July evening. Anyway, she was sitting on a step that connected my living room to my kitchen and I happened to notice a reddish-brown fluid coming out of her lady partsl area. she was sitting with her legs open..so I take a closer look, yup its definatly red! I paniced. It looked like fresh blood mixed with old blood.

Called the pedi and got a very prompt return call. Doc started asking usual questions, had she fallen and hurt herself, etc. After giving him no's to all his questions..he said..Ok Pixie, try to relax. Bring her to the ER.

ER doc checked her out..swabbed the fluid and then she brought it to her nose and took a whiff. Mrs Pixie she said, do you happen to have any M&M's at home?? I thought for a second and nodded my head yes, giving her the oddest look..then it dawned on me..

My precious little girl must have inserted the M&M's into her lady parts (ughhh!) and the heat from her body AND the warm bath melted those m&ms..of course my little one's favorite ones are the RED ones. The red "fluid" was the melted candy with the red coating..you can't imagine the amount of m&m's that child had inserted!! And she laughed and was trying to play the whole time the doc was trying to remove those buggers!!

Gotta love that kid!

One week my 10 (now 14 year old) son stuck a BB into his ear "to see if it fit". I got it out myself by laying him on that side with his head off the bed and manuvered the ear lobe until gravity did the job.

Later on that same week my HUSBAND got a peanut M&M stuck up his nose while we were headed somewhere. I was laughing so hard I had to pull the car over. Once the chocolate melted, it came out easily. I asked him WTH was he thinking, and he actually anwered the same way my son did (my husband was not home when my son got the BB stuck), "I wanted to see if it would fit."

When my oldest daughter was 2, she had a bad habit of pulling the foam out of the padding on the sides of her playpen. Well, she developed a nasty-smelling nasal discharge one day, and lo and behold, there was a piece of foam 4x the size of her nostril stuck up there. I pulled it out with a pair of tweezers. Delicious!