When you can't leave it at work.....

Published

Specializes in Cardiac, ER.

Hi all,..I'm not a new nurse and I'm not new to the ED, but I had a really emotional trauma the other night that I just can't get away from. I've seen some really awful things in my career as a nurse and I've often cried at work. I can usually just move on, but this time I can't seem to let go.

Do you ever think about all the horrible things we see in the ER? Things that most people will never in their life see. I know we all hear "I don't know how you do your job" and most of the time I just feel like I'm glad I can do it,..someone has to. I'm usually glad that I can be there for someone during such a scary time.

I wouldn't say that I've grown cold or insensitive over the years, but I thought I had learned to distance myself enough to do my job and move on. I often go home thinking how blessed I am to be healthy, to have a loving family, to not be involved in all the drama I routinely see. I usually vent a bit to coworkers or my wonderful husband and move on to the next day. I can't seem to do that this time. I'm actually having nightmares and am unable to eat!

What do you guys do when you have that really bad trauma? Maybe I'll feel better after I go back to work and get back to a normal routine. Maybe I should talk about the whole night with some of my coworkers. This is really unlike me. I almost feel like I shouldn't have to see some of this stuff. I shouldn't have those mental images. Too bad we can't just erase all the bad stuff huh?

I'll stop. Just thinking out loud here. Curious as to what you all do when you just can't seem to put it behind you and move on to the next day. Thanks for listening/watching me vent a little.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in med surg, LTC, ER , OB, PSYCH.

i'm so sorry you are going thru this and am right there with you. i recently encountered a pt who has experienced such a tragedy , they will never be able to put it away and i'm afraid i won't either so if anyone has any suggestions, help!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.

I attended every code on my pm shift for sixteen years and some nocs after I left I would re-play in my mind some of the more awful things I saw. I would first talk with a sympathetic co-worker...someone who really knows what nurses go through. Sometimes that is all that is needed to get you back on track. If this does not help seek out your EAP program and meet with someone who will be able to help you. One thing that always worked for me was "thought stoping". The min the offesive or distubing image comes into your mind...YELL to yourself STOP and then replace it with a different image to your liking. Have several images lined up and ready to go....the day you were married...holding your newborn....sitting on your favorite beach.....seeing your parents (works for me).......anything that works for you. This is a great technique if these bad thought pop up while working.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in psych. rehab nursing, float pool.

Where I use to work, we would have so called debriefings after an especially traumatic event. It was a time to not only vent, but also to look at the situation discuss was there alternate ways it could have been handled gave kudos where deserved. Most importantly it was supportive to the staff.

Be aware post traumatic stress happens to we nurses also. So talk, talk ,talk.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

You need to get some help dealing with this. It sounds like you are having a totally normal reaction to a totally not normal situation (working in an ER). I had PTSD when I was an EMT about an incident where a young girl I knew very well was killed in a car crash and I was one of the EMTs who responded. To this day I still get 'smacked' once in a while by vivid memories (it's been nearly 10 years), but they no longer have power to bring me to my knees, so to speak. I found that letting them come and recognizing that it was a bad time, but I survived it and became stronger helped me deal with it. I also talked to anyone and everyone who was involved in the incident early on, and drove my husband nuts with retellings of the experience. Repressing the memories made them worse for me, I found. Talking about them kind of took away their power. I also had help from a debriefing team right after the incident. You are not alone.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in psych. rehab nursing, float pool.

RN-Cardiac,

I in no way meant to imply I thought you were having PTSD.

I only wanted to acknowledge that PTSD does happen to nurses.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.

:icon_hug: The "stop sign" method may be a good one; I second that. I was taught that method when I was just a little girl and had lots of worries and anxiety. I was taught to think of a "stop!" sign whenever I just could not get an unpleasant thought to leave my mind. Amazingly, it did work. =)

But, at the same time, you need to deal with this and you might need assistance. I also agree about talking with your EAP.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU, CCU, Trauma, neuro, Geriatrics.

Debriefing helps a lot, talk to someone about this. The chat after a traumatic event is a defusing, a few days after is a debriefing. These are helpful to most people, going over the details with someone else who was there and seeing their view helps you to release the event. Having follow up information also helps a lot. In acute situations you are there in the middle of it then suddenly you are not even involved, that doesn't work well with our reasoning. You need some more information so that you can have a closing of this event.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER,ICU,L+D,OR.

When I leave work. I always go out to the club for a good one.

The health club that is for a good strenuous work out. Very good stress reliever. And you sleep so well after a good workout.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
RN-Cardiac,

I in no way meant to imply I thought you were having PTSD.

:yeahthat:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Cardiac, ER.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I think snowfreeze made a good point. Normally after a serious trauma my coworkers and I talk, a lot about what happened. This time the trauma came through the doors just after 7p (the beginning of my shift) and I didn't take the body to the morgue until almost 4am. I left at 7a and we really didn't have the chance to talk like we usually do. I've been off since. You guys are right I need to talk to someone who understands,.guess I need to go back to work!

This was just to close to home. The boy who died was the son of an ER nurse. I think our greatest fear while working ER is that someone we love will come through the doors. I wish I'd been off that night.

Thanks again everyone.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion