When you can't leave it at work.....

i'm so sorry you are going thru this and am right there with you. i recently encountered a pt who has experienced such a tragedy , they will never be able to put it away and i'm afraid i won't either so if anyone has any suggestions, help!

I attended every code on my pm shift for sixteen years and some nocs after I left I would re-play in my mind some of the more awful things I saw. I would first talk with a sympathetic co-worker...someone who really knows what nurses go through. Sometimes that is all that is needed to get you back on track. If this does not help seek out your EAP program and meet with someone who will be able to help you. One thing that always worked for me was "thought stoping". The min the offesive or distubing image comes into your mind...YELL to yourself STOP and then replace it with a different image to your liking. Have several images lined up and ready to go....the day you were married...holding your newborn....sitting on your favorite beach.....seeing your parents (works for me).......anything that works for you. This is a great technique if these bad thought pop up while working.

Where I use to work, we would have so called debriefings after an especially traumatic event. It was a time to not only vent, but also to look at the situation discuss was there alternate ways it could have been handled gave kudos where deserved. Most importantly it was supportive to the staff.

Be aware post traumatic stress happens to we nurses also. So talk, talk ,talk.

You need to get some help dealing with this. It sounds like you are having a totally normal reaction to a totally not normal situation (working in an ER). I had PTSD when I was an EMT about an incident where a young girl I knew very well was killed in a car crash and I was one of the EMTs who responded. To this day I still get 'smacked' once in a while by vivid memories (it's been nearly 10 years), but they no longer have power to bring me to my knees, so to speak. I found that letting them come and recognizing that it was a bad time, but I survived it and became stronger helped me deal with it. I also talked to anyone and everyone who was involved in the incident early on, and drove my husband nuts with retellings of the experience. Repressing the memories made them worse for me, I found. Talking about them kind of took away their power. I also had help from a debriefing team right after the incident. You are not alone.

RN-Cardiac,

I in no way meant to imply I thought you were having PTSD.

I only wanted to acknowledge that PTSD does happen to nurses.

Debriefing helps a lot, talk to someone about this. The chat after a traumatic event is a defusing, a few days after is a debriefing. These are helpful to most people, going over the details with someone else who was there and seeing their view helps you to release the event. Having follow up information also helps a lot. In acute situations you are there in the middle of it then suddenly you are not even involved, that doesn't work well with our reasoning. You need some more information so that you can have a closing of this event.

When I leave work. I always go out to the club for a good one.

The health club that is for a good strenuous work out. Very good stress reliever. And you sleep so well after a good workout.

RN-Cardiac,

I in no way meant to imply I thought you were having PTSD.

:yeahthat:

Thanks for the advice everyone. I think snowfreeze made a good point. Normally after a serious trauma my coworkers and I talk, a lot about what happened. This time the trauma came through the doors just after 7p (the beginning of my shift) and I didn't take the body to the morgue until almost 4am. I left at 7a and we really didn't have the chance to talk like we usually do. I've been off since. You guys are right I need to talk to someone who understands,.guess I need to go back to work!

This was just to close to home. The boy who died was the son of an ER nurse. I think our greatest fear while working ER is that someone we love will come through the doors. I wish I'd been off that night.

Thanks again everyone.