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Discussion

When Is Enough Enough?

We have a 101 year old lady in my building. She has outlived all her friends. She had made peace with going to the 'next phase'. She got ill. She was comfortable. We called the family. They came from 2 states away. The doctor said we are going to do what they would do if we sent her to the hospital. Now, the poor thing is getting IM and IV antibiotics and fluids. She is no longer comfortable. She is still going to die. What a shame that her family didn't see the fruitlessness of the torture of IV therapy and IM medications.

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    It's not about the family and what THEY need or how much they will 'hurt' ; it's about the patient. And 101 is a long, long life. We don't live forever. We need to be allowed to die gracefully and peacefully, regardless of how much denial the family is in. I don't expect the family to totally understand how medications work, but they need to be educated on how their decisions are making things worse for their loved one.

    PAYBACK'S A B _ _ _ H!

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    Stinks when the family that was never there before all the sudden gets a guilty conscience and decides that they want to keep their family around longer. It is too bad that they did not come around sooner so that they would understand that their family member has made peace with death and is ready to go. I have had to deal just such a family not to long ago.

    The resident has since passed. However, the process was a lot longer and more painful than it needed to be.

    How do you know the family "was never there before" and all of a sudden got "a guilty conscience" in the case the OP describes? That might have been true in the case you worked on, but you don't really know it to be so in the OP's case, unless you read something that I missed.

    We just really need to be careful about assuming.

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    for the family it would hurt worse to have her die and not feel like they did everything they could than to have her suffer the therapy. when it comes to familys enough is never enough no matter if they have lived 200 years.

    Maybe they just simply didn't understand the pain issue?

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    How do you know the family "was never there before" and all of a sudden got "a guilty conscience" in the case the OP describes? That might have been true in the case you worked on, but you don't really know it to be so in the OP's case, unless you read something that I missed.

    We just really need to be careful about assuming.

    I think she was speaking generally, not to the OP.

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    Luckily the family and the doc have come to their senses thanks to some frank discussion about the end of life and FINALLY the woman has been put on hospice--comfort measures only. MY kids know exactly what I want and don't want at the end of my life and they have promised to uphold my wishes. I threatened to come back and haunt them if they don't and they really believe I can, so I'm pretty sure my wishes will be followed.

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