Too Much at Once

This sounds like a difficult time for you SilverBells and I'm so sorry to hear of that. While change can be uncomfortable, sometimes through this uncomfort is our best growth.

Search out individuals who can be mentors to you and support in those times when you need it. Better Help is also a great avenue for 24/7 therapy is that is something you are looking for.

Nursing professions are vast and many individuals in these positions change their specialty. Do not feel like because they have moved on you are alone - this can be your time to dig deep and be the resource for others. While unfortunately this might seem as an uncomfortable time for you, I think you can also see it as a great time for growth ? 

Please reach out through your CAP (or whatever your employee assistance program is called) to find an appropriate mental health professional to assist you. 

You're clearly dealing with alot and sometimes there's nothing that can be done but get through it. These changes are all beyond your control, other than how you can advocate for yourself and your mental health. You are clearly a competent individual and if you can break things down into smaller tasks, you just have to accept that you can't fix everything at once. You may have others trying to dictate to you what the priorities are, and they may conflict. Try to fine ONE person that you can discuss the situation with and come up with a plan.

Best of luck and please remember to take care of yourself!

I worked thru a hellish corporate takeover near the end of my career as a nurse.  They removed our support staff, working supervisor who was the best boss I ever had, eliminated transporters, laid off HUC's and CNA's and increased nursing patient ratios, this before covid.  Also laid off all our managers, educators and directors.  I call them Descension for obvious reasons!   Their greed and infamy has finally been made public thanks to a recent New York Times expose.

By 2019 I was at my wit's end but had to work till 2020 due to the Rule of 55 re 401k/403b to avoid tax penalties plus start my pension.  Mandatory overtime was becoming an issue, with no warning, you're ready to leave and they demand you stay and then they don't even have a replacement at the end, and you end up working 18-20 hours instead of 16 hours which was still ridiculous!  I had gotten a doctor's note to stop the mandation after that last time and it helped.  Until a new corporate manager took over and demanded a disability accommodation, a formal process that they get to review with employee health and look thru your medical history and even deny it and fire you as they refuse to accommodate, and it sadly is common practice to do so in many industries!  At this time, I had a close friend who had retired at the start of their takeover who deserted me when I told her what I was going thru, decided I was too negative, needy and anxious and this after over 25 plus years of friendship where I had helped her countless times.  In the end I didn't go thru with the accommodation, and it was a good thing as later in 2020 this same manager hired on a bunch of new grads telling them she was going to get rid of the older nurses!

In the meantime, my "friend" decided she wanted to reach out to me a couple months later to show off one of her stupid rings she bought and it was only then that she realized I had defriended her on facebook!  This fair-weather friend only cared about herself, her vacations and her jewelry!  Later she called my mom looking for me to let me know her mom was dying.  So, I did relent and talk to her then, but I never forgot her betrayal at the time when I needed her most!  And I no longer consider her a friend.

By 2020 covid hit and I decided to hang on rather than quit during covid as a personal decision.  But we had lost most of our nurses and staff and there was hardly anyone left I felt close to.  They had all quit due to the terrible working conditions. 

I've mentioned in other posts this manager did come after us and me, with bogus write ups and harassment.  I literally had my resignation letter in my purse during the meeting in her little closet of an office where she didn't bother wearing a mask during covid, while I had to sit in front of a two way camera for HR to watch lest I roll my eyes as she interrogated me about a nosebleed patient and the only complaint she could come up with was I didn't say my name when I called ER!  I couldn't get the bleeding to stop, and the patient needed to be packed to stop the bleeding.  For some insane reason, I stayed, but got shingles the next day and ended up with two-weeks off.  And I told everyone it was a vacation.  However, I did file a corporate compliance compliant against her regarding lack of critical equipment like heart monitors and oxygen meters, as well as the illegal age discrimination plot she had hatched.  

But the unsafe working conditions where ICU patients were held on the floor, not enough nurses or staff, admitting patients without heart monitors and not enough oxygen meters etc, I finally gave my two weeks notice at the end of 2020 and took early retirement.  It's been over two years and I'm so glad I did. 

Thankfully I had time to plan and had all my ducks in a row, which I wouldn't have had if I had been forced out in 2019.  I refinanced my mortgage to an 8-year, 2.6% mortgage, got a HELOC just in case, knew what my pension would be, had a Roth IRA to keep my taxable income down for Obamacare health insurance subsidies plus an HSA, HRA and 403b.  

But you are in a different place than I was.  You are younger and don't have any vested reason to stay where you are.  I would suggest you follow the others who have already left and find a better job!  I saw another post where you said you have walked out, off the job 5X in a week due to anger and frustration to go driving and shopping and I don't see how you will keep your job if you keep doing that.  It would make more sense to look for a different employer as we have all been suggesting for a long time.  

Lastly, it is better to have a plan than to get fired or be pushed out before you are ready.  There was another nurse who stayed after me and worked 32 years there, including lots of overtime during covid, but started having mental health issues, went manic, and felt her job was threatened so quit without a plan and took early retirement.  But sadly did everything wrong.  She quit at the end of the month so her health insurance was gone, then ended up hospitalized and I urged her to do COBRA in spite of how expensive it was as otherwise that bill would not be paid.  She did do it and it ended up being $30-40K, but at least she had insurance in the end.  Sadly she called in during the last two weeks so Descension denied her 200 hours of PTO, literally stole it from her and she was depending on it to pay her mortgage.  She ended up selling her condo at a loss and now is living in a small cabin in the woods with her husband.  She only has her small pension and her 403B to survive, while waiting for social security disability approval.  It has been almost a year and they haven't even finished reviewing the claim.  Social security disability is notoriously difficult to get and usually denies the majority the first time around.  Thankfully her husband got a job at a factory so that will help.

But the moral of the story it is better to plan and prepare than to let fate happen to you!  Also, as I've said before many companies don't pay out PTO or vacation when you leave so use it up first.  There are only a handful of states in the US that require PTO/vacation be paid out and we weren't one of them.  

Take care of YOURSELF first. You should search out a therapist and a provider that  can prescribe.  In the meantime.. look for another position... you have been suffering there way  too long.

Agree take care of yourself. 

Focus on priorities and what you can get done, knowing you can't do it all.  It's not your responsibility to do other people's jobs.  If things don't get done, so be it.