Taking a first step

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It has taken me 5 years to get to this point I'm at today. Deciding I want to go to nursing school and having the freedom to do so.

I was in a very unhealthy and abusive marriage. I was not allowed to work or get my GED to go to college ... I actually enrolled 3 times and he made me quit ... when he found out I was studying for my GED at the college after my general classes he threw away my text books ... he interrupted me by showing up while I was in class (security was called at least 15 times) to see if I was sitting by any guys ... yeah, this guy is now my ex.

My first attempt at this career was getting a CNA training position at a local hospital which to my surprise he let me do because we needed the money. This program was great because I was able to work, get the training I needed to eventually attend Nursing school and they would help pay and then most likely hire me.

I was almost a year in and some reason he said if I did get a career as a nurse I would have an affair with a doctor and leave. He went as far as not allowing me to take the car, refusing to watch the kids, it got to the point I was let go and this was after I told my boss what I was going through, she gave me many chances but she sat me down and explained his disruptive is too much and it wasn't fair to anyone else on our unit to keep giving me chances.

Long story short he ended up leaving us. He was on drugs and he literally said he was moving out and he did. Jobless, I had to get a job quick so I decided to fall back on the little training I had and found a great job in home health care.

It's not the most high paying job and there's no perks as tuition reimbursement but I know that I love this profession and I want to be a Nurse. But as I said I was forced to quit school and I received failing grades for withdrawing, I'm a single mom and I have to work full time to support us.

For the past 3 years, I've been just focused on getting us by, but now I see I have to do more. Which means getting a GED, finding a school that's able to work with me as a single mom working etc.

I know I can do this I've just been through so much I don't know where to start! I contacted a local school and they want transcripts etc. from all the colleges I had drop out of. Come to find out I owe some of them money and they wont release anything. I know we've moved at least 20 times over a 16 year period.

I'm just so over whelmed can someone relate, or offer any advice to help me. I will put in the work I have no problem. I want this I've wanted to be a nurse since I was 12. Now I've got the freedom to do so, My new obstacle seems to be simply getting started.

I am so sorry my post is so long. I had to get this out there and get some feed back. I have no one to discuss this with no one positive or encouraging in my life to get advice from. So I'm hoping there may be someone who has been through what I have and can offer some advice on where do I start?

Where can I turn? Whom can I turn to? I'm 36 and I don't want to wait any longer. I need this ... my kids need this. Thank U so much for any kind advice. :)

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I'm in a similar situation, while I wasn't in an abusive relationship, and I must say CONGRATS to you for getting out safely but I'm a single parent with 2 kids. I worked for 10 years in telecommunications to support my girls and make sure they have the necessities in life. Well after 10 years at my company they decided to close the doors and shut my call center down. Instead of looking at that as a negative I took it as my door opening to do what I've always wanted and go to nursing school. I'm 37 years old and I decided to go with a nursing program that is fast paced, that I could finish in 18 months and have my R.N. at the end of the program. It's been hard as the school I selected only takes 30 nursing students per term. There are younger girls and probably smarter I find out on September 27th if I'm one of the chosen.

GO FOR IT!!! It sounds like things in your life have lined up for you and this is your opportunity.. I believe everything happens for a reason and the struggles you have gone thru will make you an awesome and compassionate Nurse. With your trials and tribulations you WILL be able to make a difference and if nothing else it will teach your children a PRICELESS life lesson that no matter what life throws at you ALWAYS pursue your dreams. Keep in touch and let me know how things go for you!!!

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I guess the first step would be to negotiate somehow with the school(s) that you owe money to, and at least set up payment plans with them so they would perhaps be willing to release your records.

For now I would concentrate on getting your GED and go from there!

Kudos to you for getting away from that awful man, and for your motivation to support your family and better yourself!

Good luck in your endeavor!

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

Earn your GED as soon as possible, and perhaps enroll in a private LPN program at a for-profit school that does not look at previous college credits.

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First let me say Good for you for getting out of that situation!

Second, with my experience having been in a toxic relationship for 5 years and having a child with him, my advice to you would be: Do not let the past define who you are and want to be. Learn from the experience but don't the feelings of abuse get you down.

It sounds like you have a great heart and will make a wonderful nurse. You are like me in terms of wanting to do the best for your children.

:hug:Good luck with your journey! I hope to see a post from you soon saying you made these steps to getting your nursing degree!

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Specializes in critical care, Med-Surg.
Earn your GED as soon as possible, and perhaps enroll in a private LPN program at a for-profit school that does not look at previous college credits.

I completely agree w Commuter. My LVN program took only 12 months.

An LPN program is probably your most viable option, based on circumstances. Then you can start on RN pre-reqs while having decent income, stable work, and gaining experience in your field of choice.

GOOD LUCK!

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Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

Needless to say, good advice from all previous post. In addition, I would like to add if you can find a school that besides offering the LPN also has the RN program it would be most beneficial to you in the future, since you all ready have a history with the school the transition would be without any hassle. Wishing you the very best in all of your future endeavors ...Aloha~

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Sorry to hear about your struggles, but I can honestly say I have walked in your shoes. I was married to an abuser for 7 years, and thankfully got out of that situation. I have some suggestions. FIrstly, scholarships are wonderful. There are thousands out there. I personally had my rent paid for 4 years by WISP, WOmen's Independence Scholarship Program, founded by DOris Buffett, sister of the multi gozillionaire Warren. There is a long applicaation process, but is well worth it. Find yourself an advocate, likely through a women's group for abused women. That person can help you out with trying to eplain your situation. Also talk to a school counselor, let them know your past, and they might help you as well. WOrk very hard in your schooling. My program only took 36 students,a nd 198 applied. Work very hard, do your best. My ex used to call me stupid f^&*ing B &^$h. Every A I got proved him wrong. Sucess not only proved how smart I was, but also how wrong he was. I just graduated in June with a RN. I am thrilled, and if I can do it, so can you. I pray God will bless your endeavors, and your family. Joy

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Thank You So much for sharing your story with me. I wish you the very best! I think all nurses should have forum board just for single moms in transition to become nurses. I believe everyone needs encouragement but as a single mom your tyoe of encouragement is slightly different. Life is a bit more challenging and exciting. I wouldn't change my life for the world no matter how crazy it seems at times. I have a son and daughter and I know I am teaching them a valuable lesson. My little girl Im showing her never give u and everything is possible and my son I want him to be a good husband and father one day and to marry a woman who is like his mom! Strong and can make it with or without him. I wish U the best I will definitely be in touch!

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Thank U so much! your words means a lot!

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Yes thats what I hoope to do. So I can at least be climbing the fiancial ladder as I move along in my nursing career. Thank U!

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Wow, I could have written this post last year. Actually I did write one very similar under my former screen name and thanks to the words of wisdom of fellow all nurses I've gotten my life turned around. My ex let me take college classes but would stop by in the middle of my classes and be there between my classes to monitor me. He let me become a CNA but then freaked out when I had a job! So basically my only alone time was in class and I couldn't study with friends. He also refused to watch our kids and would make me pay for daycare with student loans then take the remainder of my loan money!

All I can say is once you get control of your life back things get better. It might be harder dealing with everything on your own but it is better at the same time! In the past year I was able to get my CNA cert renewed so I can work again, finish my last couple of transcripts, get on the waiting list for a couple of schools and now I'm about to start my first full time CNA job! Just remember there are resources out there for people just like us and don't be afraid to ask for them.

What I did is I applied for state aid, I had no income and no one to stay with. The program had a subsidy for daycare and for workforce training: CNA, MA, GED etc. So your kids can be in daycare while you go to the classes you need. You will need to get a job once you complete the most basic job skill training. So look into your county or cities Work Force Investment Act program.

You can also check with local womens shelters for finding community resources. You don't have to live at the shelter to recieve assistance. Even if he was not physically abusive to you or your kids; your ex was abusing you emotionally and financially (by not letting you work). Feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to. I know of another website with a forum for single moms that you might find useful.

Best wishes and good luck!

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