Split-Shift relationships

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Specializes in WOC, Hospice, Home Health.

As we all know, nursing is a 24/7 kind of field. And the rest of the world...more Monday-Friday 9-5. How do you guys make it work when a significant other is on a different shift (and therefore a different body clock) than you?

My husband is an unemployed new grad RN (i guess there's a few of those out there) working as a PCA in a house for young men with CP and MD. He works 2pm-10pm with occasional 6am-10pm- a couple days during a week, plus every Friday and Sunday night. I'm an RN working in homecare, 8-4:30 M-F with rotating evening and weekend shifts. We've been married 5 months...and never see each other. Throw in my 6 year old and his schedule...we never see each other AND I'm feeling like a single parent all over again. Which makes me...testy.

We try to meet for lunches when my caseload isn't too bad, but that's few and far between. When we do, I'm stressed about seeing the rest of my patients and I have my cellphone literally on the table with us. When I'm home he's at work, and vice versa. He likes to stay up 4-5 hours after I'm in bed. I like to get up 3-4 hours before he does. Nights out are limited due to needing to pay a sitter (although Grandma volunteers quite a bit). Honestly, our marriage-- not quite the start I envisioned.

Any advice from the "been there" crowd? Switching jobs isn't an option right now as he is job hunting and my job is the steady income. :confused:

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If you did shift work in home care you could pick your shift, but at this point not worth the effort to change because he is not settled into an RN job. I would just deal with this until he gets situated, then make plans to sync your work life, at least part of the time. Good luck to you.

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I agree, this will eventually work out. I worked different shifts than my husband for a good portion of our marriage. It was actually better for the kids when they were young= especially in the summer months. Give the economy some time and hopefully you guys can change.

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it's reality, welcome to it. this economy only makes reality more unpleasant. unless you're wealthy, you have to work and that means sacrifices (not seeing your spouse/kids/family as much as you want, missing church, missing events, lack of sleep and so on).

hang in there, things should get better.

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Specializes in ICU.

My husband works 8a-5p, I work 3p-11p and am a full-time student taking my classes in the mornings. It's no fun. By the time I get home, he's usually asleep, and by the time I wake up and head to class, he's at work. I am so thankful we both get weekends off, even though I have to use them for studying!! And it also helps that we have no kids.

We try to meet for lunch sometimes after my morning classes and before I go to work, but he often has company lunches he needs to be at. :(

We just take comfort in that this is just a season of our lives right now, and it'll be worth it in the long run for me to pursue the career I love. If I end up working 3p-11p or nights when I'm a nurse, so be it. I'll just have to work hard and keep my eye on the job postings to transfer.

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Specializes in LTC.

my husband and i have been married 7months and we both have different shifs so i feel your pain.

we just plan ahead our date nights and make the most of the time we spend togheter.

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