Showering styles

allnurses Guide · Sep 18, 2004

My husband was reading over my shoulder again . . . :rolleyes: He thought this was pretty funny until I said "you know, women may be a little obsessed with their looks and afraid of their bodies but you men are disgusting". At which he snorted in disgust and walked away. :rotfl:

steph

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Sep 18, 2004

Oh, man........(cleaning Diet Coke off the computer screen AGAIN).....you really nailed it, Steph! BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! :rotfl: Although my hubby isn't quite that, uh, Neanderthal, it still amazes me how unself-conscious he is despite being 53 and overweight, while I dive for cover if I even hear the bathroom doorknob rattle! :rotfl:

shinyblue.rn · Sep 18, 2004

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Absolutely the truth:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Tears in my eyes!:rotfl:

Someone sent this to my 15 year old daughter . .. she has brothers so she wasn't shocked. :chuckle
How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see
husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental
note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
loofah, wide, loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43
added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your
hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body
wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet
surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small
country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way,
shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your behind.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them
off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coorifice butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to
bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth
behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

nursebedlam · Sep 19, 2004

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: very true , very funny

allnurses Guide · Sep 19, 2004

Oh, man........(cleaning Diet Coke off the computer screen AGAIN).....you really nailed it, Steph! BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! :rotfl: Although my hubby isn't quite that, uh, Neanderthal, it still amazes me how unself-conscious he is despite being 53 and overweight, while I dive for cover if I even hear the bathroom doorknob rattle! :rotfl:

I know exactly what you mean about men and how unself-conscious they are. My dear husband is 51 and has a tummy but never ceases to walk from the bedroom to shower and vice versa in tight white underwear. I've tried and tried to remind him we have 15 year old daughter and he needs to STOP IT.

The cool part is today I was looking at some new photos online and came across a few of me and was horrified by how large my thighs look (to me). My husband put his hands around my thighs to measure and assured me they were not large. As I started to show him the photos, he walked away saying "I'm not going to join you in your bashing yourself party". He never says anything negative about my body.

steph

malenurse1 · Sep 19, 2004

HA HA HA!!! I love this! I have a wife and two daughters and you really nailed it! I love doing the "woo-hoo" thing! How do ya think I got two daughters! LOL! Thanks

vaughanmk · Sep 20, 2004

I printed a copy of it and all the gals on the floor are ROFLAO. Thanks for a great wrap up of the night.

anndoodle · Sep 20, 2004

*insane giggles* Ok....you hit that nail on the head. So tell me, where's the hidden camera?!?! *still rolling on the floor* Hubby did the *woo-woo* just now, on his way to the shower! Soooooo funny!!!

lovinghands · Sep 21, 2004

HILARIOUS! :rotfl: BF woo-woos every time, somehow he believes this is a form of seduction in his warped mind! :uhoh3: Thanks for the good laugh - I'm sending it out to my friends...

wam79 · Sep 23, 2004

It's true but I don't "woo-woo" every time,

do the Homer Simpson "Belly Jiggle" sometimes too

Being male = no shame