Risk for Social Isolation

Hey Nat,

I would suggest for you to practice as much as you can with your American classmates to become more familiar with our culture and remember it may be hard, but it's possible...many Asians have come to this country and successfully blended in our 'melting pot'. Also, look over your instructors behavior and try to put it in the back of your mind.....just hold your head up high and complete your education as a nurse by doing your best....you chose this career path for a reason...so just remember what brought you to want to be a nurse and use that as your motivation. Many have had the instructors that want to single students out in a class to probably get rid of them, who knows....she/he could be doing it to get you ready for the real world as a nurse....what ever the instructor's reasons are doesn't matter...what matters is that you finish school.....the instructor has her/his education so you get yours....you're so close...stick it out. At graduation you can look her/him dead in the eyes so she/he can see that you too did it without her/his positive encouragements. Maybe your success will discourage this instructor from doing this to others in the future. Good luck!

How is your oral English? You seem to have very good command of written English. Is English a second language for you? You mention that communication is difficult for you. Is the problem with expressive or receptive speech? In which region are you living. Could it be that you are in an area of the country where the local accent is making it more difficult for you to understand others?

If you're not confident with the language, perhaps you might consider taking some English as a Second Language Classes. Language is one of those things that gets better with lots of practice. I know with nursing school you don't have much time for social activities, but perhaps you could try making the most of all your interactions by engaging people in conversation. At the grocery store, dry cleaner, restaurant, gas station, bus stop, anywhere you find other people, make it a point to talk about the weather, or local sports teams, etc. Just use English as often as you can.

Ask your English speaking friends to stop you if you mispronounce something. Have them prompt you to repeat the word until you're able to say it better. I have some Asian friends that are newcomers here and that's something they asked me to do. So if we are chatting and they say something incorrectly, I will just tell them to wait a second and we will repeat the word a couple of times. They always tell me how much that helps them. It might help you.

Don't be shy or embarrassed about clarifying your understanding. Just give people a big smile and say something like this:

"Just a moment please. Am I understanding correctly that you said ........."

or

"I'm sorry, please let me be sure I understand you correctly. You're telling me that ........"

or

"Perhaps you noticed I'm not from here, and sometimes I have to ask folks to repeat things to be sure that I'm understanding them correctly. Would you tell me once more about your........."

I was born here in the USA and I have a very distinctive southern accent. I moved to SW Louisiana where folks speak English and Cajun French with a very pronounced accent. Though we are all speaking English, our accents sometimes require us to ask each other to repeat things, and there's no shame in that.

Occasionally you may find someone who has a foreign body lodged in a tight place who might be ugly or impatient with you. But, by and large, if you give people your full attention, look them in the eye, and demonstrate interest in their care and well-being, most people will be very glad to repeat things or ask you to repeat things.

I'm also graduating next year, and yea being the only asian guy in my class is just different. I overcome my shyness by becoming more confident and spent ridiculous amount of time talking with my white classmates and friends. During clinicals it's really important to put aside your weakness and this will help you to perform your practices more efficiently. I know English is the hardest language in the world, and it takes time to improve your communication and don't be afraid to ask for help because there are many people who are willing to give you support in your school.

-Godspeed

I was wondering if anyone has been in this situation before? Only asian in Nursing Class, teacher embrasses you in front of everyone. It's hard to fit it with everyone else because I'm new in the country and don't seem to fit into the culture of America. I'm also shy and that is my weakness during clinicals. I have trouble communicating with people. I feel insecure and sometimes think about finding a new career. But the problem is I'll be done in May 2010. What should I do, any suggestions?

take care,

Nat

Hi, Nat!

Does your school provide any sort of support groups, perhaps study groups for students who speak English as a second language? Depending on what resources are available to you, you might be able to get support from your school's international student center. The best international student centers I've seen on US college campuses are those that provide help with English, especially understanding grammar and vocabulary, plus they provide study groups as well as one-on-one help whenever a student needs it. They also work to help international students become used to American culture---and they invite the rest of the campus to special events that highlight the different cultures that make up the student body. You may also wish to talk with an international student advisor about how you feel like you don't fit in yet and are insecure and uncertain that you want to continue with the nursing program.

You may wish to keep a diary or a journal of interactions with your instructor, a way to keep track of how he/she is treating you. You may find out that he/she is not necessarily picking on you---maybe this instructor has a pattern of behaving like this with all students who seem shy or unsure of themselves. On the other hand, you may find out that this instructor is treating you differently from the others because of your culture of origin, your gender or both. At that point it might be necessary to speak with your nursing advisor, maybe even talk with the head of the program if you feel that your instructor is behaving in a way that discriminates against you.

Have you been doing well in your other nursing classes so far? Is this the only instructor who has treated you in a manner that embarrasses you? Is it possible for you to change instructors? Are there other international students in your particular class? And is this happening in clinicals or in the classroom as well?

You might be able to talk with your instructor about how you feel about your interactions with him/her. If he/she seems to get upset with you because you don't seem to be learning a particular skill or concept, you may wish to ask him/her for extra help. It can be downright scary to approach an instructor when you're a student but remember, you do have rights.

Now, in terms of self-confidence, do please understand that you are NOT the only person in your class who feels unsure or uncertain about your nursing skills now and future career. Many students, regardless of culture or gender, start off feeling scared to death! As you gain clinical competence and nursing knowledge, you will become more confident of your abilities. But do keep in mind that it can take a long time to feel confident. Many new grads say that they don't feel terribly confident when they start and it often takes a year, maybe more for some people, to feel comfortable as nurses. In the meantime, perhaps you can work on your social confidence, get to know more people, maybe your classmates. The more you reach out, the more comfortable you will be with your peers---and you will likely become more comfortable about an unfamiliar culture the more you know about it and the more you interact within that culture.

I hope all works out well for you. Please keep us posted. You have received good advice from the other posters and I hope you have every success in your nursing career!

My problem is oral English not written. I want to thank all of you for your advices and suggestions. I feel better already. I will try my best to fight through these bumps in the road.

Take Care

I hope you have a better experience in your future endeavors. I am sorry that you are having difficulty. There are always reasons why we (the collective we) go through these things, perhaps in some chance, and in some way, your experience, should you choose to share, will help another nursing student, another new person, another child, you just never know....some day.

Good luck.

How do you deal with clinical instructor that are mean and consverative old fashion people? They get mad easily and only yell at you when you ask them something.

How do you deal with clinical instructor that are mean and consverative old fashion people? They get mad easily and only yell at you when you ask them something.

Please elaborate.

Nat,

Honestly that is something many ppl are facing in these programs, unfourtunately minorities have to be strong & stick together. There may not be any other asians in ur cohort, but there are other minorities u can relate to, but may not know it bc ur own biases have gotten in the way. Try confiding in them & see what type of coping mechanisms they have in order to strengthen u in this difficult time. Even though u may not b the same race, embrace them bc they have alot of strength to offer bc they have been through this situation plenty of times. I know it seems tough, but u r going to walk away one of the strongest nurses out here. Don't give up no matter how tough it gets because u are representing your culture & serving as a role model for the next group that comes behind u. Racism, discrimination, biases & ignorance still exists in this world, u will never be able to run from it so stand up and take charge, don't let it defeat u. You can't change ppl, but don't let ppl change u. Good Luck!

Nat,

Honestly that is something many ppl are facing in these programs, unfourtunately minorities have to be strong & stick together. There may not be any other asians in ur cohort, but there are other minorities u can relate to, but may not know it bc ur own biases have gotten in the way. Try confiding in them & see what type of coping mechanisms they have in order to strengthen u in this difficult time. Even though u may not b the same race, embrace them bc they have alot of strength to offer bc they have been through this situation plenty of times. I know it seems tough, but u r going to walk away one of the strongest nurses out here. Don't give up no matter how tough it gets because u are representing your culture & serving as a role model for the next group that comes behind u. Racism, discrimination, biases & ignorance still exists in this world, u will never be able to run from it so stand up and take charge, don't let it defeat u. You can't change ppl, but don't let ppl change u. Good Luck!

Are you a minority yourself if u don't mind me asking? Thanks for the advice I appreciate it. I understand what you are saying and will try my hardest to keep going until the end.

Yes, I am Afr. Amer, I myself haven't experienced this type of behavior, but I have a friend that has and I see it. There is a mexican man in my class that speaks w/ a heavy accent, there r all kinds of snickers & sighs when he speaks, but he has no problem raising his hand & saying whats on his mind. He is very smart & even has a family member that is going to CRNA school, & how many ppl do we know in these programs that desire 2 be a CRNA, tons, but to have a minority that barely speaks English is frowned upon. They are envious of his success, he worked hard to get to where he is & could care less what ppl think of him & he loves his culture. It exists, so don't be so naive to think that these issues of discrimination don't exist, but u can;t let it weaken u. More than likely they are probably intimidated by u bc stereotypes suggests that u are going to be the brightest & smartest, to sum it up their competition. They may not view me as much competition, but Afr. Amer. women are known for strong personalities and high self esteem, we are not a passive group of ppl and that can be intimidating for ppl when they have never worked w/ that group of ppl. Just be yourself, don't change for anyone, but if any group accepts u with open arms, it will be other minority groups. But be careful, some ppl may flip the script & welcome u into their group for their own academic gain. You have to remember it isn't u with the problem it is them, hold ur head up high, what would the world be if we all looked & sounded the same (bland). Never let anyone make u doubt who u are, GOD made us all in HIS image don't let anyone make u think otherwise. Go to class with confidence & wear ur culture on ur sleeve & u will be fine. Good Luck!

Yes, I am Afr. Amer, I myself haven't experienced this type of behavior, but I have a friend that has and I see it. There is a mexican man in my class that speaks w/ a heavy accent, there r all kinds of snickers & sighs when he speaks, but he has no problem raising his hand & saying whats on his mind.

The story about your classmate brings back a memory of an incident that occurred when I was in grad school. My class was fairly homogenous---mostly women, almost all Caucasian, mostly late-twenties to mid-thirties, most from the Midwest, most financially well-off in they worked for the same employer who paid well and had generous tuition-reimbursement policies. One woman in the class, however, didn't seem to have much money as her clothes weren't as nice as the other students'. She was Caucasian but recently moved from the South, so she had a very strong accent and spoke more slowly than the rest of us. And just as you described, most of the class sighed and snickered or looked extremely bored when she spoke. One day after class, she and I were talking and she mentioned how poorly she felt she was being treated; she felt that the other students looked upon her as being (pardon the expression) "trailer trash". In fact, she was smart and funny, someone I would have liked very much to know better except that I never saw her again after that class. I wonder if she dropped out because of the way in which she was treated.

Frankly, as an instructor, I would not tolerate anyone making fun of another student for any reason. The snickers and sighs are signs of horizontal hostility and if these students are acting in a passive-aggressive manner while in nursing school, Heaven help the staff who will have to work with them someday!

Back to the OP, you asked how to deal with clinical instructors who are "mean, conservative, old-fashioned people". I'm not sure exactly what you mean by this, either. Are you talking about instructors who have very strict standards, maybe more strict than their peers? Do you mean instructors who yell at students in private or in front of patients or other students? Do you mean instructors who are blatantly racist? A mean instructor is not good---although some are perceived as mean when in fact they have high standards and want to make sure students perform their skills correctly. Others are perceived as mean because they're not approachable or seem intimidating. An old-fashioned instructor---I'm not sure what you mean by that---if you mean someone who is not accepting of male students, that's a problem. If you mean someone who complains about technology such as computerized charting or having students learn the Pyxis, that's can be a problem, too. Conservative---some instructors might be conservative in that they go by the book---otherwise, I'm not sure what you mean by that, either. Again, a racist instructor is someone who should not be teaching. Period. Unfortunately, some instructors are racist and it would have to be very difficult to be a member of an ethnic minority had have to deal with someone like that.