BeatsPerMinute

It's a curiosity question. Tell me your story.

Following. I'd like to hear more about this. There are many reasons why a nurse could be struggling. Ask the nurse what she thinks would work for them, and then try that for a week or two. Note for yourself what you observe while you try this. A nurse who is struggling often is dealing with personal stuff, or generalized anxiety, or its not the right job for them. Try a gentle approach. I second practicing somethings on a manikin. Repetition is helpful.

I had a patient in the ICU who was like this. She was 340-something pounds on a lasix drip and the MD's were anti-foley catheter. Per PT, it was deemed "OK" for single person to assist this patient. At the time, I was a 20-something year old nurse that only weighed approx 125lbs. I was strong though as I worked out a lot and did a lot of weight lifting. I was everyone's favorite turning buddy actually, LOL. However, I was not strong enough to work with a patient who fights me during the whole process of getting them out of bed to the bedside commode and back. In the afternoon while assisting her again to the commode, she was angry, frustrated, ranting about how life is so unfair. She was not listening to my directions while we were mid-way through the process of getting her to the commode. She was flailing around in anger while we were standing and she fell forward onto me. I shouted out for help. Several co-workers rushed in to assist getting this patient off of me, cleaned up, and back to bed. That patient's husband was getting lunch during the incident. When he returned, learned what had happened, and heard ( from the patient) explaining that she was just "mad," but still "sorry" that she fell on me, the husband was absolutely furious with his wife for being like that, and he apologized profusely to me and all of the staff. I had done everything I could with what we had & I was safe, job wise. But it was just one more ding to my back and I was put on light duty for awhile... Not worth it.

I don't think they meant to be offensive or anything. Rather just trying to make a point. It's okay.

I didn't read through all of the comments. Just wanted to share that us nurses have the same responsibility: if we take vitals, and there is something off, it is our responsibility to communicate it to someone as well. We see our NPs/PAs/RTs/MDs etc on their computers all of the time as well - it doesn't mean they're going to notice anything. Even if they do, they might brush it off as an accidental entry. So that is the kind of mindset that you have to have. The person who notices something off cannot just ignore it and "pass the buck" so to say. When there is a concern, it is necessary to vocalize it, ask for help, for another person to double check. Anything that screams "this ain't looking right" should be communicated to somebody. I do not expect CNAs or Techs to report every little thing on my patient. Nor do I take advantage (ex: if I have time, I can get the IV, or draw labs, or check glucose, or bathe a patient, or walk a patient, take their vitals, etc). I do expect tho that at anytime if they do notice something very out of the ordinary that they prioritize communicating that to me or anyone to ensure the patient is safe. That doesn't apply to CNAs/Techs alone. It applies to everyone I am working with. I'd be upset with anyone who noticed something that was significantly off with my patient and chose to ignore it. Just reinforcing the idea.

THIS. I have only seen a couple of nurses navigate around this well. They were 30+ years of experience, were highly intelligent on how to deal with people (patients, families, MDs, co-works, new grads, supervisors, etc), and had hard set boundaries. Right now at the stage where I go overboard or get run over.

Working for an insurance company is an interesting idea. I thought about Case Management & Informatics. Trying to get creative. I don't want to lose the critical care skills I have - I actually really do enjoy being able to utilize those skills - however, I cannot see myself doing it for decades, full time. I prefer preserving my physical and mental health.

Hi. I'm about a decade into my nursing career (exp includes ICU, IR, Cath Lab). I have my BSN & CCRN. Good creds. Doesn't appear to make a difference however. I've worked with patients who were very, very sick. Level one trauma. Cases that would last 9+ hours in the labs. At the ICU I had Impella / IABP / CRRT / Arctic Sun / LVAD patients. I've worked so hard over these last ten years to care for my patients however it is demoralizing and IDK if I can do it anymore. I've been hit, kicked, threatened, spat on, shouted at and more. There were times where I found out what was going on with a patient when a MD couldn't hone in on a Dx. My co workers were the worst. I've advocated for patients when they wanted their treatment plan changed. I've worked with CNAs/RTs/Speach Therapists/ OT/PT to ensure the best possible care was given to our patients. However the more I advocated for a patient the more I was bullied by my peers. They didn't want to help with turning patients or cleaning them. The more I asked for help the more I got crap from them. Random rumors were created and then spread. Even though I wasn't doing anything wrong, people made stuff up, and over time, more people believed that I was a bad nurse: incompetent, untrustworthy, a "know it all", nosey, anxious, not dependable, etc. The more I tried to do the right thing , the more I got slashed by my own "team." It didn't matter if I helped them do a turn, a clean up, help with an admission, help with a code, discard narcs, help gather supplies for whatever situations... the help I offered my co workers was not reciprocated. I did go to my manager but nothing good came out of that. Same with HR. So I want to ask if you guys have experienced this. Have you ever felt taken advantage of? What did you do when you have had terrible work experiences, other than just leave? I don't even know how to stand up for myself anymore in this work environment without risk of being fired, slandered, or being hated. It's become a terrible profession.

Im a nurse with nearly a decade of critical care experience and have seen techs/RTs/nurses/PAs/NPs taken advantage of , pushed beyond their limits by MDs. IDK for sure, but it kind of sounds like youre being taken advantage of. I've been taken advantage of. Theres a point where you gotta say "no, I am not going to tolerate this behavior anymore" and follow through with it. If its bothering you enough to where it keeps you up at night, its time to take action. Get HR involved. Speak to the MD directly & set some boundaries. Or leave, It's just not worth it to work with people who are like this / treat their colleagues poorly.

Kaiser... ugh ?

I don't even know what to say, other than I agree that our healthcare system is broken. This whole conversation is making my head spin.

In summary: you were following orders. That's it. Forget the rest. Thats not on you.

Thank you for sharing this.

So many mixed feelings. On one hand, I am better with animals. I could see myself becoming a vet. On the other hand, despite how rough nursing can be, I appreciate what I have learned. *I've gone backpacking with friends and helped a dude out after he got drunk in the middle of the night. He decided that was prime time for bouldering. He messed up his leg real good after falling off the cliff. I patched him up. *I've helped a friend of a friend when he suddenly collapsed and went head first down 15 steps that were made of metal. Blood was just leaking out onto the side walk from this guy's head, like a slow stream. Everyone at that party was freaking out. I held pressure and demanded that 911 was called immediately. Ultimately he got stitched up and is fine now. *Just the other day my roommate's volleyball teammate got knocked down after taking a direct hit to the outside of his right knee cap. He's gonna be outta the game for awhile. While miss HR person was focused on the fact that the employee had signed a waiver, I focused on the person. I checked the site and it was fine. I helped get him up to the nearest bench, elevated leg, borrowed someones jacket to keep his head and upper body warm until help arrived. More than anything, I like knowing what to do to help family members and friends when something happens. I do not like nursing in general mostly because of this whole patient satisfaction thing that's been going on for awhile. To put it onto nurses to "make someone happy" is a joke. No one can make anybody happy. Yet, here we are. So, IDK what the answer is. Still figuring that bit out.

I am focused on the seasoned nurses b/c in my experience, I've seen that they are the least likely to help anyone and will run anyone over - techs, RTs, PTs, OTs, Dietitians, other staff members AND their fellow nurses on shift - if it means that those seasoned nurses' shift will be easier. it is terrible. I've experienced this and then also watched my colleagues floundering but the seasoned nurses don't blink an eye. it is like they clock in and out and just spend their time talking on and on about how much they're looking forward to their next vacation and complaining about their husbands. It is pathetic. I am nearly a decade into my career. Worked in mult environments. Yes, I am an experienced nurse. I am passionate about helping newbies and new grads and setting them up for success. Most seasoned nurses don't care. It doesn't matter if a patient is nearly coding - even that is not enough motivation for them to help a fellow nurse out. Have you worked bedside lately? It's bad these days. You have to see it to know how bad it is.

There's been a lot of talk about people wanting to leave bedside and/or leaving nursing altogether. I've considered it myself. I'm nearly a decade in, but I have nearly had enough. Many have said "it is tough work, it always has been - the pandemic has made it tougher." I have always worked hard, but holy crap, it's gotten really tough. And I am having a tough time wanting to stay in it. And why should I? If the seasoned nurses do not care, why should I care? My hang ups are around the seasoned nurses who have or are already super focused on retirement and no longer have interest in investing in the next generation. This is beyond "nurses eating their young." I've been burned by seasoned nurses for just asking too many questions. I've been tricked and thrown under the bus mostly by seasoned nurses just so they do not have to deal with me. Same has been going on with other nurses coming in, experienced or brand new, who are doing their best to practice safely and learn. I cannot get passed the level of apathy from the seasoned nurses. That really that cannot go ignored because at the end of the day, it is those seasoned nurses focused entirely on retirement + all of the other aging humans in our country that will suffer in the end. I don't understand how our seasoned nurses do not see this coming.

I agree with Nurse Beth.

When do you start? I'd love to hear about your first impressions.

I have used those same lines... once I ask "what can we do to solve these issues?" 80% percent just say they want to see the doctor, even if they've already been updated and have seen the doctor. and then all I can do is tell them that I will reach the doctor, which I then do, however, often at that point, the MD is caught up in another case, or with another patient, or involved in a consult, or talking to family members about their loved ones recent death, or dealing with an emergency, or simply doesn't want to deal with the patient/family anymore and tells me that he will get there when he can, and sometimes the MD just goes home. I often don't know where theyre at or what they are doing or why they do not respond. I don't have a special doctor detector on hand just because I am a nurse. The general population doesn't seem to realize that just because I am a nurse does not mean I have the ability to summon a MD at random. I am not a magician for God's sake. People are people and people do whatever they want. For some reason, many patients believe that they should be able to access a specific MD at any time. Often the patients I deal with operate with that belief and mindsent and forget and/or do not care that at the end of the day the nurses, MDs, and all staff are humans, too. No one can FORCE any other human to do something. Obvs I don't say that out loud. But it is the reality of my workplace and prior workplaces. Then I get yelled at and told what a crappy nurse I am. Sometimes called colorful names, and blah blah blah, complaints are made, etc. So that's where my frustration lies. I am polite, empathetic, offer alternatives (such as, reaching the MD with their questions later with the facility phone number to coordinate a best time to chat and follow up with MD. I even offer suggestions such keeping a notepad and pen and allow this time to write down your questions so that everything will be covered and so at end of day you will get all of your answers). Sometimes it works? IDK. I work with a lot of post transplant and ESRD patients and not to generalize but the mentality of the patients is just.... different. Mostly theyre hyper anxious and without a real good emotional intelligence level, you will end up with a patient who gets angry or upset or threatening or all of the above. So, am always careful with my words, tone of voice, attentive, and very intentional. It's just exhausting I guess.

I have no idea what it is like to be a student in your position, not to mention I have no experience (nor any interest) in L&D, so my reply might not be as helpful but I figured "hey, lets try some thought experiments" and see if that helps. It's OK to vent. Reading this makes me want to vent. Nursing is hard and honestly for me it is the preceptors / co workers / managers that create the most stress for me. I will take a super ill patient attached to a tree of pressors and paralytics and continuous sedation on a vent in severe septic with A-lines + Central lines + Swan Catheters who also requires some sort of advanced therapy machine - CRRT, Impella, you name it. I will be on top of medications / labs / therapies / speaking with family / oral care / turning. If my patient or someone else's patient codes, I'll be there totally cool calm and collected. If you give me a crap preceptor, or a clique (my so called "team mates") that won't help but rather just gossip amongst eachother, or play on their phones at work, or give me a belittling supervisor or charge nurse that believes they're better than everyone else, or someone that takes advantage of me: you can expect to receive my notice to leave from me as soon as feasibly possible. Now... taking it back a notch... and please know this is coming from a place who has gone through absolutely ridiculous situations (like the kind of thing that I only thought existed in medical TV shows but not in real life). Still, every situation and every person is different, so I try to do the very best that I can to try to see things from the other person's perspective. If you're not sure what is up, then why not ask? Prepare yourself, don't care about "how she might react" and just ask to talk privately. Then, state what you've noticed (calmly, professionally, appropriately - and have it be coming from a curious position. It's OK to state your perception of what happened and share that you felt like you were doing something wrong and then ASK for her insight. Don't go on the defensive). When she replies, or asks you questions back, be prepared to have some humble replies/answers no matter if your preceptor gives you constructive feedback or just says really bad things about you. I like to have scripts ready. It helps to keep composure and stay professional and keep all emotions out of it. After that, seek counsel from the superiors. Come to them with a wanting to know how I can be better attitude. If/ when they ask where that's coming from, share specific examples of your experiences with your preceptor. Don't over dramatize it because that would turn them off. Humble humble humble. Cant stress it enough. My only question for you is why you state that you feel that throughout your experiences that you have been riddled with abusive preceptors. There is a concern there. Like, why have so many preceptors in your eyes been considered abusive? Please remember that when I ask about this that I have also been there, and by no means is this coming from a judgemental place. I am just curious because if we had some more information about how those situations went, we could probably give you better advice on how to deal with those situations so you don't have those experiences in the future.

Agree with the the replies above.

Sorry for the delay in responding but I really appreciate everyone's advice! Just one thing that kept coming up through people's responses that I wanna touch on: calling security. I learned this place doesn't have security to call. I asked my boss about if things have ever gotten outta hand, or if they were to ever get outta hand, have they ever had to call 911 or something? Is there a safety plan for staff? Their answer was... unclear.

So very thankful for you guys! I sent the PMs... If still willing to connect, please let me know what is most comfortable for you ( connecting text, phone, PM only here etc). I was thinking about this last night and want to throw it out there that if anyone believes that sharing at least a summary of my experiences, the things that I have been struggling through, or what I hope to gain by reaching out would better help you to help me, or anything else, just let me know. Will gladly do that.

Hi there, I've been a nurse for 9 years (mostly adult ICU, pre/intra op/ post op). I have personal mentors who are very successful and experienced, however, they're not in the health care field. Because of that, they sometimes say "I really don't know what to tell ya" and are unable to guide me through certain situations. Would greatly appreciate it if anyone's willing to connect. Thanks. - BPM

Not opposing the idea but wanna just share a FYI not all places are the same. I've worked inpatient ICU / ambulatory / PACU / Cath lab and currently work in outpatient IR, mostly with elderly ESRD patients. The place does not have a vein finder and we are not allowed to use ultrasound at this facility either. My point is that this may be a good idea however would def ask about what resources you would have available at any facility.