PsychNightOwl

I ran into my fair share of doctors who wrote inappropriate things in charts. One new one wrote Pain in the A** for a patient with hemorrhoids. The very same one who wrote "Stopped breathing" on a death certificate. I wonder whether that particular doc got his qualification from a box of Cheerios. My apologies...... that was ugly. Hehehehe

My neighbour visited recently and limped in, in obvious discomfort. Naturally I asked what was wrong and was very nearly incontinent when he said "I've injured my psychotic nerve" :rotfl:

I have worked the night shift for years. The day before my first nightshift of the week I take a nap in the afternoon then get up and cook supper and do the 'family' thing. I basically do nothing but work and sleep until my stint is over and on the day following my last night, I take a long bath, put my PJs on and go to bed for a couple of hours. If I stay up straight from work I'm like a bear with a sore head.It works just fine. Don't go to bed hungry, thirsty, needing the bathroom or full of caffeine. It doesn't work....

Lastly, NEVER remain in an environment (if you can help it) that compromises how you feel about you! You will be doing yourself a disservice. That is the most sensible, sound piece of advice I have heard today.

As I entered the American Health system I wondered whether 'madness' would be the same here as in England. Whether the treatments and philosophies would differ, whether patients would come out with the same non-sensical conversation.... etc etc. Well, in case you are still wondering if your facility is unique... I give you a resounding no. I remember a time when we had 3 'John the Baptists', the Pope and the Queen of Sheba on the ward at the same time. Well... I haven't come across John the Baptist again since arriving across the Pond but believe me, mental illness is pretty much the same wherever you are. The only 'extra' problem I have now is that I speak with an English accent. Most are fine with it until you get the paranoid ones who seem to think I am a representative from the CIA, KGB etc. Seriously, illness is pretty much the same everywhere.... it's just that some of the nurses have weird accents. Recent quote...... "Ooooh you sound just like Harry Potter" Cool huh?

Hey Crunch! Thanks for the award! :thankya: I haven't had one in years! And it's for being gross.... Alright!!!!:yelclap:

Oh where to start...... having a patient pass gas through a new ileostomy which I was in the middle of cleaning...no mask....liquid feces shot straight into my face and mouth. Whilst working in the ER we had a headless body brought in, the result of a horrible motorbike accident. The cop (who is a curious shade of green) hands me a crash helmet....with the head in it. Oh and talking of gross-ness......I must put my hand up to committing a rotten act of gross proportions towards a new student nurse...... I have held this guilt for 23 years!!! We were showing the new nurse how to test for occult blood.... I had concocted a yummy chocolate fudge mixture and placed it in a (new) bedpan with a little toilet paper..... Enter new nurse with attitude. "And this is how we test for blood in feces..... I stuck my finger into the 'faux-feces' and scooped up a big old lump.....then placed it firmly in my mouth. That poor nurse keeled over backwards and hit the floor. If perchance you were that nurse.... I beg forgiveness..... it was me.

Just the very second I find it I shall post it here immediately!! I cannot imagine how it disappeared out of my favourites list but hey, what do I know? I'm foreign

Sure I will, I'm still desperately trying to find it..... watch this space.... :)

Cares24.....keep an eye on your PM box..... there is a website which helped me tremendously. All I have to do is find it again! As soon as I do I'll give you a shout.

Oh my, I could write a novel. Coming from England, my vocabulary is slightly different. The biggest one for me so far is the 'fanny' word. To you guys it's just a slang word for one's derriere. To me it's an extremely vulgar term used to describe the ladies parts. Akin to using the 'C' word. When people used to tell me they had fallen straight on their fanny I thought....how does one do that exactly??? Yes I admit to going into Staples and asking for rubbers. I have also gone into Farmfresh and enquired where to find faggots. You can just imagine...... btw, faggots are meatballs to me and nothing else! Having just re-started my career as an RN in this country I am in my initial phase of being introduced to the slang used for ones 'wedding tackle'.

I'm out of Psych now but I was in Forensic Psychiatry. ie Psychos with Rap Sheets! (And don't dare anyone give me the lesson on calling the mentally ill 'psychos'. Some of them are just that and only that. I have a wealth of experience with Norman Bates 'actalikes'). However, now I bask in the serenity of Med/Surg. And if that's an appropriate adjective to describe Med/Surg.... then I'm the Pope.

Stay strong, stay positive and get back out there and get a job. Big hugs and prayers.

Oh man... I think English psych patients must be worse.... I've had fractures of my jaw, nose and a shattered patella. Not such a bad deal..... I got $10,000 (equivalent) for the jaw, a newly aligned nose and a brand new knee. You just gotta laugh. Thus far since being in America all I have had is a few names (White Honky, Limey, and a few others which I did not understand and daren't print here!) and had a few things thrown. Heck, give a patient missiles, what can you expect?

PS..... Suggest putting on PJs AFTER you get out of bath.

Your NCLEX is tomorrow??? Get offline this instant and go get in a warm bubblebath, put on your PJs and read something as far from nursing as it gets! Chill out time! Eat breakfast tomorrow before you go. Wear lots of layers so you can adjust to the room temp. Don't forget your ID etc. Get there a little early and don't pay any attention to other people who may finish before you. I was the last one in there, I answered all 275 questions and still passed!! Go relax, you've done the hard part.

I've lost track of who started this thread but thank you, a squillion times. I am a nursing 'wrinkly' who trained many years ago, in another land. I emigrated 2 years ago, did the CGFNS exam and passed, did the NCLEX last November and passed and I am now about to re-start my career at the grand age of forty-something-ish in a foreign country on a med/surg ward! So, for all your wonderful posts and incredible advice....thank you. Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

I have to hold my hand up to being one of those who thought this was pretty funny. Yes, I've been on the nursing circuit a long time! However, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy "Take time to laugh". Our career is just about as stressful as it gets and if we spend too much time taking things to heart and being so deadly serious all of the time we are all in danger of hypertension, DU's, and well, you know the rest. Sit back, relax and chill out. We are professionals who all work hard, we need to take time for ourselves and our families and think about what's really important in life.