timewood

Hey OP First of all I'd like to say congrats on making it this far. :-) I lasted 90 days at my first job in med/surg. Like a previous poster, I found my niche in hospice and worked in that field for seven years. I will also share with you that the biggest reason I stayed in nursing at all is I was a single mother with no other means of supporting my family and I had a chronically ill child who needed the flex schedule hospice provided. At that time and in the market where I worked, hospice was autonomous in the extreme. The learning curve was brutal but I poured myself in to it. It was the most challenging and rewarding work I've ever done. But it eventually wore me down completely. I was not and never will be someone who is naturally task-oriented. And for the bulk of the work of being a nurse that particular talent is crucial. Over the years I've observed that the most resilient nurses have a particular personality and temperament, a hard-wiring that makes them naturally good at nursing. It sounds like maybe your temperament and personality aren't at home in a hospital setting and that could be the root-cause of the stress you're experiencing. And I agree with the other posters, you need to sleep and you need to be able to eat. Without the basics, nothing else is going to be possible so start there. I know there are oceans of advice stating things like "get at least one year of med/surg" but you don't have to do that before you can move on to something that is a better fit for you. In my first job I was surrounded by seasoned nurses who were immature and cliquish in the extreme. The entire hospital where I worked was that way and on some floors, it could be downright dangerous if a nurse decided to go after you. It was a nightmare and I got out as soon as I possibly could. My managers were very good to me there but their hands were tied to do anything about the pervasive toxicity of the hospitals culture. Right now the Bureau of Labor Statistics says that up to 50% of nurses leave the profession within the first three years. It absolutely is not for everyone (in fact, I don't think it's for most people) and there is ZERO shame in that. I blame a lot of that turnover on the poor prep that Baccalaureate is for the reality of nursing. Like another poster wrote, diploma programs provided years of opportunities to gain experience and confidence while still under the wing of a teacher. Life is unbelievably brief. And precious. And there is far too much good in it to stay at a job that is making you miserable. No one knows you better than you know yourself. No one can help you but you. And, no one can give you permission to do what is best for you, but you. You must be good to yourself. And, you are allowed to make mistakes. Big time. It sounds like you are wrestling with some really unrealistic self-imposed expectations of perfection. Although from the outside, it looks like I've bootstrapped myself through unbelievable challenges to finally gain success, the reality is my life has been one long, terrifying ****-show. Just like most people's. Get to a counselor, get some non-addictive sleep meds and anti-anxiety meds from your PCP, square your shoulders and then start plotting a different course for the life you want to live. And even if you decide to do something besides nursing, none of your experiences are wasted. Some of the best people I know floundered around vocationally throughout their lives. Much of what makes life good is the SEARCH for meaning and calling... whether or not you find it. And that means being in situations over and over where frustration, poor fit and anxiety are part and parcel of the experience along with the good things too. Be kind to your mind. And start moving forward in self-care immediately. I wish you the very best in your journey.

This is a great question and a dilemma I am also facing. I am just trying to break in to research nursing after being a nurse for nearly 12 years. My youngest child has finally left home and I have a chance to focus my time and attention on getting a Masters. I have also wondered if I would be better served going back for an additional bachelors in one of the hard sciences, followed by a Masters in that. Decisions ....decisions.... I'm in the dark because of my overall ignorance of field. I have found several videos on youtube that I've started binge watching! :-)

To the OP: I worked in hospice and palliative care for around seven years. By the time I left, I was spiritually and psychically depleted. I took a little time off and then took a job doing non-bedside case management for a Medicaid MCO for three years. I've been grateful for this job too but, it's still nursing, it's still exhausting and it's still Healthcare. I tried everything; meds, spiritual support, having more fun, getting more education etc etc. In the final analysis, it's not just being a nurse that drains you, it's also working in ANY avenue of the Healthcare industry. After ten years of nursing, I've decided that if I want to live a long, healthy and happy life, it's NOT going to happen if I keep working in Healthcare. I'm leaving. I know it's easy for me to say but any job that makes you need meds, is very unwise. I was a single mom for many years and did what I had to do. Now, I refuse to use myself up to the point of such existential numbness and misery. I wish you the very best in everything you do. I know the social and ego rewards of nursing can be powerful. But ultimately, we pay a terrible price for them.

I had sent a PM to a PMHNP and I thought, why not bombard everyone? btw: the layout at allnurses has certainly changed, psych np's used to have their own board, no? an-tee-way.... I appreciate any of you taking the time to read through this and (hopefully) answer some questions I have. I will try to make the information relevant, succinct and quasi-entertaining where possible. I have 8 years experience in nursing- most in hospice, middle-management (gah!), quality management (less gah!) and payer-side case management with an MCO. I currently specialize in complex case behavioral health- helping patients with SMI. Three years ago I began the FNP program with Frontier and only completed the "Bridge" portion (a useless BSN equivalent). I applied to Frontier two years later and was told they would no longer honor the Bridge courses I had completed; I would need to start again. In retrospect, I am deeply relieved not to be doing FNP for flowery reasons I refuse to elaborate upon while sober. Moving forward. I am investigating the options for completing my BSN so that I may apply to an online PMHNP program. So far, Western Governor's has my peak attention for both affordability and autonomy. (question #1) In your experience with folks on this board, has Western Governors' reputation been a hindrance to acceptance to a PMHNP program? (question #2) Do any online PMHNP programs have a howlingly horrid reputation? Tepidly horrid? etc. Are there any online programs you know of who've earned quasi-consistent positive reviews? Also, you have the benefit of years experience; (question #3) who flourishes in this role? Who withers? And finally (question #4), what do you see are the greatest areas/opportunities for PMHNPs in the next several years? any help you can extend my way is greatly appreciated. -Deanna

Dude, would you mind copying and pasting the PM to me as well? I'm also shopping for an online pmhnp program and have been considering Midwestern. I would appreciate any experience/guidance/thoughts you have to share. thanks so much :-)