martysmiles

Nurseforatu, what a great testimony you have to tell. I would love to hear it all. Please Im or email me. If you feel like sharing. I to have been down that road and in recovery a year June 10, 2009.

Mag, I'm not on drugs, an your right . I think it was pretty earlyhere when I responded to that question. Lack of sleep still affects me terribly and my brain still isn't chemically in balance.

Yes, Doctor- patient relationship does stand and the doctor can not discuss anything with anyone unless he thinks you are a danger to yourself or someone else. Hippa Laws!! Now as far as your health, go to the doctor and just tell him what is going on. It's always best to be honest with your doc. This way if something is going on he knows what he is dealing with.

Hey, I'm in Gastonia, NC which is near Charlotte. Great place to live.

Thank you so much for your response. I have often wondered what reactions would be. I thought automatically that everyone already knew I was a addict or would soon know after I go back to work. I've had other preceptors come to me and say she 's in recovery, has a drug problem, But, I'm watching her. That is what I think will drive me nuts. I know it is something I'm going to have to except and tolerate.

Thanks, How wonderful that your happy and doing well. Your advice is awesome. The questions you were talking about, Where did you access them?

My hosptial as well Na II can do all those things and blood sugars.

Yes, gr8fulnrs. I understand that being truthful is a part of who we are in recovery. I was just curious as to how others respond to a nurse in recovery.

Thank you for your support and how wonderful to celebrate your 8th year of soberity. This gives me hope. Were your fellow nurses kind to you when you returned to work? I would like to think they would be. But, I have seen how others respond to addicts and alcoholics. This gives me great pause.

Guys, this is soo scary to me. I can't even think about the liability of it all. I much rather give my meds and know my patients have received what there suppose to get and chart my actions than wonder if everything was done. I value and respect my CNA's and have taught classes. I just disagree that they have all the knowledge they need in a 40 hour class. How many hours in pharmocology did we receive, then in clinicals. It just bothers me that people are so casual about this subject.

Gosh, Our ratio on med-surg floor were 8:1 on first. Nights 12:1 sometimes. Oncololgy sometimes 5:1 but mostly 8:1. Post Intensive Care 3:1, CC 2:1

Hi, I'm facing the same soon too. I've been doing ok until now. I'm scared to death of going before the board. Convincing them that I'm ready to return to work. That I'm worthy. Heck, I've spent more time trying to get my license back than I did in school trying to get them to began with.

Good morning, I'm a addict and I'm scared right now. I've been in recovery for 11 months and it is one day at a time. I need a support group and I realize that now just reading the post here. I'm so frustrated right now I could scream. My husband is staying on me constantly about going to the gym and getting in shape so I can work when its time. Yes, I know in the back of my mind he is correct. I just can't stand his controlling me in any way. He has stood by me thru all of my firing, recovery process, and attempting to get reinstated. Which will be in process next month. I guess all addicts have a problem with control issues. But, damn give me a break occasionally. I had a real pain control issue when this all started in 2003 I had a back problem and really was doing everything I could to avoid surgery. I did have surgery in 2004 and was on kadian and morphine for pain control after surgery. Well, I did receive some relief after the surgery, but I was still in pain. The pain clinic Docs kept me on pain meds. I returned back to work after six months. My Director and employee health Doc were informed by me that Meds were being used. They were monitoring me and random drug test were done. One evening after second 12 hour shift I took a darvocet from my mom for a headache I'd been fighting all day. I didn't have a prescription for it. I was given drug test next day and tested postive. Was pulled off floor and informed by employee health Doc of positive test. Director was informed and we talked. She said I was to finish charting and give report to my assistant manager, then leave the premises until she called me. I was crying, My friends didn't know what was going on. They were trying to help me. I was so devastated. I felt like some one had placed their hand in my chest and pulled out my heart. I had worked in this hospital for almost 14 years. This is March 2006. My director did call me back in about a week later. A internal investagation was done. I didn't divert thank God. I was stopped before that happened. But of course I was fired. She told me it was better if I self reported. I did sign contract with BON and seen a addictionologist. I had six months until I got my license back. The addictionologist called me and said he wouldn't recommend that I got my license back to the board. Because I was on all these meds. I was upset and took another darvocet, of course I was selected for drug test and it was positive. My license was suspended for a year. In August of 2007 I had my second back surgery in hopes to be able to stop meds. Well, It was June of 2008 when I finally detoxed. Denial is a hard road isn't it! I had gone in to see PCP and was in withdrawal. I had misused my meds and I told him I had. He said well it's time to face the music and he called my pain Doc. I was about seven days short before a refill was due and he said he would not fill my meds unitl it was time. I wasn't asking either. I wanted help. I was on 180 mg of morphine a day. They gave me catapress patches and phenegran. I was told to inform my family about what I was facing and not to be alone during this time. I had no choice. My husband had to work. He as our only income. I had no friends to call on. So two weeks of hell I indured alone. Opiate withdrawal is horrible, not mention withdrawal from benzo's, and muscle relaxers. But by the grace of God I made it. Forgive my ramble and the length of this confession. But, I had to share.

How do other RN's and possible employers respond to your candid replies?

Thoughts and prayers are with you.:heartbeat

Arosefromwreakage, I love your thought process. I am strong, healthy, sober and by goodness I deserve to be a nurse again. We become what we think that we are. Positive thing out,positive things in. Sounds crazy but it works.

Oh No, I went through all of this and now no one is going to hire me? That stinks. Especially if your following your program. Drug free. Is it the paper work they don't want to mess with filling out? Or a trust issue?

Yes, but like many differently. I do not have my BSN and I'm going back for that as soon as I can.

Krissy, Do not drive while under the influence of anything. You know this. Does your sponser live close by? All you need to do is ask?

I believe the truth is best. I do not know how your BON works, ours makes you see an additionologist. And if you were truthful with him you have nothing to fear.

Being an A student doens't mean best nurse. We had C students that were better in physical care and techique than A students. But always strive to be your best and you'll get through. Yes, having your CNA I is required at many schools before you can even register for nursing school.

You did her a major favor as a nurse and a friend. I wish just one of my friends had approached me out of care and concern for me and my patients. She doens't know it was any of you. Now comes the real test. Call her and reach out to her. She feels ashamed and isolated.

Hi, This is my first time sharing my story with anyone other than family and Doctors, I have been drug free, sober for 10 months and seven days. Thank you God!!. Man, why do we punish ourself so badly? My addiction started with back pain meds. I had back surgery in 2004 and stayed on pain meds Kadian and morphine for over three years. During this time I went back to work in acute care and my Director was aware I was on pain meds as well as Employee Health Doctor. I was random drug tested at work. Well, one day after work I took a darvocet for a headache, But it was my mom's and I was drug tested the next day. It was positve for a drug for which I didn't have a prescription. I was pulled from the unit to Employee health, given my results by the new Doctor over that area. We had not developed any kind of relationship. I had worked in this hospital 14 years and pretty much knew everyone. I was told to go finsh my charting as I was crying and report to Assistant manager then to leave the premises. My director and I talked. I did not divert medication. I was fired, She advised me to self report and call her back to let her know. I felt like someone reached in my chest and pulled out my heart. Shame,embrassment, I understood why they fired me. But it took a long time to get through my head and addiction. I had six months to clean up and was doing great until the addictionologist told me he would not recommend that I get my license back to the board. He said I 'm sorry if your surgery failed. But I can't recommed you be reinstated. You see I was still on all my pain meds. Pain is what the patient say it is. Why did that not apply to me. Oh, addicts rationalize to keep using. I was in pain and I got a second opinion. 2007 had a second back surgery which I was terrified of having done. I stayed on pain meds until June 2008. I was in withdrawal when I went to PCP. I told him I had abused my meds and he said ok, Let's face the music and called my pain Doctor who had a few choice words, But would not refill meds until they we due. That was another seven days. So, I recieved catapress patches,phenegran and told to notify my family. That I was in for a really ruff week which turn into two weeks because I chose not to have those pain meds refilled and went through pure hell coming off the meds. So thats my story. I apologize for it being so long. I'm preparing to apply for my license again. I still struggle and I'm so gald for this site. How do you feel about being exposed to meds again? I'm afraid I just don't ever want to use again. I could have lost so much more. My husband has hung in there with me. Great man.