Prankster patients

Yep, love these folks.

Recent LOL patient: "That doctor was pretty cute, but I think he's too old for me."

Me: "Too old?"

LOL: "Yep, I like 'em young, like 21 or so ..."

Brand new MD: "How long have you been nauseated?"

Recent COM patient (Crochety Old Man): "For about 30 years."

Brand new MD: "You've been nauseated for 30 years?"

COM: "Yep, every ******* time I come to this hospital."

I do love 'em too. Certainly better than the ones who say yes and fine to everything, but you gotta remember, some of these unfortunate peops get really good at covering up.

When I was in nursing school, I had a clinical day in a dialysis unit. The nurse I was working with called me over to a patient and asked me to check his legs for edema. I pulled up his blanket and poked one of his legs and it felt really weird. Then I noticed that both his legs were prosthetics! He and the nurse just laughed and laughed.

I had one patient who was on our floor for awhile getting multiple tests done almost everyday. I came in and asked what kind of test they had on the agenda for today and he said.

"They want me to go for an echogram."

I knew he meant echocardiogram but decided to ask him what he thought the test actually was without correcting him. In a completely dry manner he said.

"Well I'm assuming since it's an echogram they're going to yell in my mouth and listen out my @$$."

I never laughed so hard with a patient.

Great prank stories !!!!!!!!!!!

Not so much a prank but still made me laugh. The other day I had an extremely hard of hearing gentleman who was very pleasantly confused. Our interactions consisted of me yelling at the top of my lungs to make myself heard, and in turn he would yell his very polite responses back at me. After a few moments of this I decided to see just how confused he was. So I shouted, "MR. X, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW?" He very sweetly shouted back "YES!!!". So I yelled back, "WHERE ARE YOU?" He took a minute to answer and then shouted, "I'M RIGHT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BED!!" I think I laughed for the rest of the shift.

OK, here are two that sort of fit this theme:

Eileen was an elderly patient who had long standing depression. At one point she stopped eating and lost so much weight her primary care doc admitted her for anorexia and general decline. A psych consult was requested. I looked at the psychiatrist's report and it said she was disoriented. I knew she was depressed, but perfectly lucid and well oriented. So I went into her room and asked her what was up with that.

"Oh, some idiot was in here asking me all these stupid questions about what year it was and who the president was, so I just gave him random answers."

Another that is not exactly a prank, but comes to mind here too:

Many years ago as a very young nurse I sent a patient down for a renal angiogram. When the contrast was injected he had a cardiac arrest. He was successfully rescusitated and when we woke up he said " You know, same thing happened last time I had one of those." Hadn't thought to mention it though!

My patient, just the other day, called me over to her chair during her dialysis treatment. She complained of having "terrible gas". The 'bowel sounds" were loud and audible without a stethoscope. I went through the usual litany of questions regarding her recent diet, bowel habits, etc. The sounds just kept coming, and I became more concerned. I was about to make a referral to her GI doc when she lifted her blanket and showed me the squeaky dog toy that was making the offending "gas" sounds...She got probably 3-4 nurses, as well as my nurse manager with her prank.

These are too funny!

My first "prankster patient" got me on my second day of clinicals, as a brand-new and still-terrified nursing student. She was by far the youngest patient on the unit, only in her mid-40's or so, being treated for burns. All was going well when I went in to assess her in the morning, and we'd been chatting nicely. I was actually starting to feel a little more comfortable in my new role... Until I got to the neuro assessment and she told me it was 1980 and she was in Las Vegas. I tried to hide my shock (and panic), but she must have seen it all across my face because after another moment she added, "Kidding... Scared you though, huh?!"

Another prankster I met in nursing school had been trying to mess with me all morning, but I had a bit more confidence about myself by that point in school and I knew what he was up to. That didn't stop him from seizing an opportunity when my professor came in with me to watch me d/cing his IV. As I removed the last bit of tape and pulled out the IV catheter, he let out a HUGE yelp that sent my professor running to the bed, and the patient's nurse running into the room. He cracked up laughing and said I was the only one he was trying to scare.

I used to work at a rest home one day mr .b called me over to him and then shot his teeth out at me ! I scream and jumped back about ten feet .

My middle aged business executive patient, who announced,

nurse , my delivery is here! I just passed the kidney stone...

Please announce the birth in my chart-

Father and stone are doing well