Nursing not good enough for him??

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My partner and i are both doing nursing, i love it and wouldn't give it up but would probably go into one branch or other. He however wants to quit saying he's sick of it and that he doesnt know how he got there that he wants to be a doctor or paramedic. Everytime he brings this topic up I avoid it because it always makes me feel that helping sick people get better or giving people a peaceful death is lame, that each little thing you do for a patient means nothing at all. He makes me feel inadequate and ive said this to him over and over again. Hes going to finish out his course but then do something else.

In one way i want to support him but i just hate the way he thinks nursing is such a disaster when i have a passion for it and he doesn't. I dont know what to do. Any advice is welcome. Thanks:banghead:

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Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.

In one way i want to support him but i just hate the way he thinks nursing is such a disaster when i have a passion for it and he doesn't. I dont know what to do. Any advice is welcome. Thanks:banghead:

Just because this is the right career choice for you doesn't mean it's the right one for your partner. If he's not happy with nursing, or having second thoughts, then perhaps he should consider something else. You stated that he feels like he can't do enough, has he considered NP or working in another area of nursing?

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You don't have to be clones. What gives you satisfaction doesn't work for him.

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Please clarify the word "partner".

Also please describe what partner means to you. What do you think are the responsibilities of a partner? What do you expect of your partner and he of you?

Do you feel depressed after speaking with him? Do you avoid speaking to him? Do you feel that his behavior is driving you away? Do you think that he knows that he is driving you away?

Know when to fish and when to cut bait.

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First off congrats on finding your niche and passion for a career. His career needs to be something HE loves with all the passion in the world. If not he will turn to hate his job--- trickling down to how he would interact with his patients and performing his job, without him knowing it.

I heard somewhere that people change their careers three times before they are content with their job. He needs to find his niche, something he would like to do day in and day out. Something he personally finds rewarding/interesting. There are a lot of different paths if he is interested in the health field. A paramedic/EMT is a very rewarding job, CC's are a great start to obtaining this. If he is not interested in a the health field, that is okay too. It is something he has to like. What are some of his hobbies- sometimes people like to mix the to job & hobby.

Good luck, just remember being supportive to each other is a neccesity (sp) to being in a relationship.

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

I agree with the others. Nursing is NOT the right career path for everyone. Your partner needs to find a career that fits HIS needs and passions, not yours.

You certainly don't need to have the same career interests for your relationship to work. However, you DO need to be respectful and supportive of each other's career choices.

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He's my boyfriend and we've been together for two years. We talked some more about it and he said that i make a good nurse where as he doesn't feel he will and wants to go into something else.

Thanks for your input everyone

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Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

I am a firm believer in that every person has a job that they are PASSIONATE about. For me, it happens to be nursing. If my future wife decides to do it, fine....but I don't require it. What my partner does does NOT change how I feel about what I do.....I would want them to be happy at their job and more likely to work regularly without calling off...which is what happens sometimes at my job with some people.

Find your OWN reasons for doing what you do...and you say he's wanting to do something else. great! Cause face it...you wouldn't want to work together, or even in the same hospital.

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Just another spin on this... but he's still a student right? Maybe he's just feeling inadequate in the learning environment (or stressed by it, or hating it or whatever) Maybe its not the actual "being a nurse" thats an issue for him, so much as just having a rough time w/ school. I'm a B/C student in Nursing thus far, and I HATE IT with an absolute passion. There are days when I feel like I would just like to give up, and I think that I made the wrong choice. It kills me that I cannot get an A to save my life and I never feel like I do well enough on anything. But I realize that school and real world are so different and I'm under stress so I can't think clearly (only from experience...this is my 3rd or 4th career direction and I have learned a lot in the past 15 years of post-high school education).

Guys don't always say what they're thinking, and at times I think its hard for (some of) them to admit when they are feeling inadequate, so its easier to cop out and say "this just aint for me" than to look the issue in the eye. WHAT is it that he does not like about nursing, ya know? If he's an adrenylin junkie, and wants to be in the thick of things like an EMT, why not go ER nursing or something like that? I know my respiratory guys always trade off to get the ER assignments because its much more exciting for them. If its respect and financial gain he's looking for (like what we would think w/ a doctor) or maybe a "guy's job", what about being a CRNA? Its less school than being a doctor, still within the nursing umbrella, and it seems (atleast at my hospital) to be primarily a male field, making pretty good money. Again, although I have no personal experience, I can imagine it would be good for an adrenylin junkie or someone who is less into the holistic part of nursing, as its specific to anesthetizing and not so much into day to day care.

There are a lot of various avenues in nursing going every which way imaginable. If he can't see that for what it is, I would not be suprised to find out that he just cannot see the "forest through the trees" as it were, because of the current situation.

I'm sorry that he makes you feel inadequate. It doesn't sound like he does it in purpose, and you should not feel as if your goals are any less because he does not feel they are right for him.

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I agree with everyone else about that every one is not going to be passionate about the same things. And that is ok.

But what bothers me most about your post is that it sounds like you've told him that he's hurting you and that he isn't listening. Even if he doesn't like nursing, he should love you enough to not make you feel inadequate.

We all deserve someone who we can be happy with. Love should make you smile.

Good luck to you

Angela

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