insensitive ED Doc

she_lpn,

It would appear that some ER doctors don't know what to say, when this occurs and maybe that is the best he had. One statistic that I have heard an ER dr use in these situations are that 50% of first pregnancies end in miscarriages. (not sure if that one was true) but would that one have felt better? (doubt it) My question is what does this guy tell the 40 yr olds?

On a personal note, when I was preg with my 4th at the age of 44, at 8 weeks I passed a clot the size of a sausage pattie (well, that was the size!),it had grey tissue in it and it looked like a miscarriage to me. I took it to the ER and the Doogie Houser looking er dr looked at it and said looks like a miscarriage to me but not sure, sent it to path. He spoke to my OB who called me in am, said I am not sure you have had a miscarriage come in monday am for an ultrasound, sure enough, monday am little peanut was still firmly implanted, she took a picture, I was very happy they did not give the drug to facilitate a miscarriage, because at 44, believe me the statistics don't look bleaker. Today my son is 3.

Getting back to you and your situation, I hope you have an ultrasound before they give you anything to hasten the miscarriage, and from my perspective, I would have looked at it a lot differently at 20 than I did at 44, waiting all weekend for the ultrasound on monday. I hope and pray for you many fertile days and many healthy babies in your future. You deserve them.

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. while no I did not recieve any drugs to complete the miscarraige or an ultrasound since my Hcg level was so low. I did go back to my doctors office on wednesday and was told my Hcg levels had went almost back down to normal and that I should be fine. I don't know that anything at that point that the doctor or anyone else could say to me could or would of been constructive to me. While I was not trying to get pregnant and it came as a huge shock it still hurt. And I to know girls who welcomed a miscariage so they would not have to pay for an abortion. While the doctor quoted statistics of 1 in 5 and most women....... all I wanted was for someone to say "I'm sorry for your loss." I don't believe he (the doctor) knew what to say I just don't think that should be said to someone who was visably upset. I also think that if I was older and trying to get pregnant yes it would or could of been worse. I could of been further along, but I still can't agree with the way it was said and when. I keep thinking when your patient dies or when a friend dies even if they were older and led a full life you wouldn't tell their family after they died in a unexpected accident, that accidents are one of the leading causes of death or some other mindless comment. Your first response would be I am sorry for your loss. at least thats what I think most people would say first.

But thanks for your comments and for listening. And hopefully I'll have many babies in the future. :)

What a Tool. . . !

I'm sorry for your experience. Maybe a note to the director of emergency services would open his eyes to his insensitivity in such situations. Some men are all logic and no emotion.

~Jen

and some women are all emotion and no logic

Wow! I feel that a life is a life, no matter how small. Would it have been appropriate for him to use that wording if it were your child on life support?

"He was only a little bit alive. You're young, you can have more."

Woogy

The OP received good advice except a few ill-addressed posts. I think the thread has outlived its usefulness to her.

To the OP, Again, I extend my sympathies and best wishes. If you ever need to talk, PM me...I have been where you are now.

To the other posters, please remember to keep focused on the Original Topic, and not to attack or flame one another. Thank you.