was/is graduation this negative for you too?

[angelwingsamy]

i am going through a problem right now and was wondering if any of you went through it too. (maybe my family is the only bad family out there lol)

im graduating in three SHORT weeks and hoping to become an RN a month later when i (((pass))) the nclex-rn. i have planned a pretty big graduation party and my hubby is making it nice for me. i have pinning, the grad ceremony, and my party all in the same week.

everything was going really nice. everyone in my family was so proud of me, so happy for me, encouraging, da da da..... THEN

today i came home and was trying to iron out a few wrinkles in the party plans. and some family members basically are not happy for me like they once said. they have decided now that they will rain on my parade.

long story short- they are not coming to my graduation, my pinning or my party. (one of them is my own mother and my brother). the rest of the family dont feel this way but for some reason those two are soooooooo not happy for me. they both say that its not really a big deal cuz i have went to school since 2001 and am only about to be an RN not a DOC.

my thing is..... i went to school part time because i was a stay at home mom all that time. i had my second and last kid in 2000. yeah it took this long because i didnt want my kids to be without a mother all that time. i CHOSE the slow path because i wanted to be home. WHY MINIMIZE WHAT I HAVE DONE????

i have worked very hard to be here and its one of the biggest things in my life. im so upset and cant stop crying because my mother is stubborn and will not be there for me. im sure we will make up in a while but not before all those important dates. i cant stand to think that i am going to walk across a stage or get pinned without my mother there supporting me.

this cannot be redone. once your pinned your pinned. im devistated. you see i didnt even graduate high school. i was a teen mom and dropped out. i got my GED and went to a community college and worked very hard to show my kids that its NEVER to late.

did any of you experience a loved one kind of raining on your parade when you were graduating? or is my family just jealous because neither of them graduated high school either. BTW i am the only person on both sides of my family to ever graduate college. its kind of like the pattern is changing now for my family. i hear more and more wanting to go back. and some that start this fall. im so proud of those that are doing the same but it hurts that those that dont want to better themselves want to do this.

((thanks for the HUGE vent))

[nursecher]

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I graduate in one month and I think everyone is pretty much happy for me. I do feel some jealousy from some people, and have heard comments that make me mad, but that is their issue NOT mine.

If your family is jealous (which it sounds to me like they are) that is their issue.

You have every reason to be proud of your accomplishment. Don't let anyone take this moment away from you. I am also the first of my family (both sides) to graduate from college. I think sometimes your accomplishment can make others look at what they have accomplished, and if it is not alot then it makes them feel bad.

You should tell your Mom how you feel.

Congratulations!!!!! Keep your chin up. :icon_hug:

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

amy-

i am so sorry to hear this.

i will give you a big :icon_hug:and let you know that i am very proud of you! i graduated in four years with my bsn...but only because i just had myself to worry about...i'd still be in school if i had children, way to go!

tell your mother exactly how you feel.

wish you the best.

jess

[ImNotWitty]

we are alot alike in alot of ways. My Mom didn't even think I should go to school, she thought my boyfriend should support my kids and I!

But you should be sooo proud of yourself. You decided what you wanted and you went for it. You were not selfish as you chose the long route to be a mommy to your babies. That is in my opinion a VERY commendable thing to do. I am kinda opposite I decided I was going full speed ahead and it is rough on my kids sometimes (and I'm not even in actual NS yet).

I know it is easy to say and harder to do.....but you need to enjoy this time, it is special and you worked hard for it. Celebrate w/ hubby and kids, as well as those that wish you well. Try to put Mom and Brothers behavior behind you. They will be the one's that missed out......not you cause you girl are getting PINNED!

Congrats and good luck in your career!

[leslie :-D]

well, thank God for hubby.:balloons:

try and forget mom/aunt for now.

truly, just try.

your success is based ONLY on your impressive commitment to better yourself, and the lives of your family.

i don't even know you and can proudly say, you've come a looooong way, my friend.

celebrate w/those who celebrate w/you.

you and your loved ones deserve in sharing your accomplishments!

whatever your mom is feeling, it is clearly her problem.

do not be dragged down by this.

many heartfelt congratulations to you.

time to reap what you have committedly sown.

leslie

[ImNotWitty]

BTW I do agree with the others you should try to let your Mom know your feelings on this.

[angelwingsamy]

congrats to you for being the first on both sides to graduate college. i think it kind of makes it harder when the example has not already been set for us. i seemed to doubt myself alot in nursing school. i think it was because i always felt like i wasnt as good as my classmates because they at least graduated high school. i didnt even do that. lol but then when each teacher would give me a review they said my main problem was my confidence level. they said i needed to stop doubting myself so much.

now i realize i AM a good student and i will be a GREAT nurse. i will work hard for the rest of my life because i am dedicated to this profession now. at first there was a barrier due to even limited high school diplomas in my family.

aside from all that it HURTS. im just devistated by all this. i want my family to all be happy for me. and with my mom and one of my four brothers being like this its shattering my dreams of a happy life. they wont be there to see it. why go to the pinning or the graduation if your family is not there? whats the point? yes i understand that my other family will be there like my hubby, kids, dad, and other 3 brothers but i want them ALL. i love them all and i want them all there. i would do it for them.

they have all had their time to shine for their own things. is it to much to ask for them to be happy for me like i would them?

[BeachBayNurse]

I am sorry this is a hard time for you. My graduation was also not the funnest time. I had made some choices that were right for me and some of my family did not agree and made sure they told me several times on my graduation day that they were upset with me.

However, remember graduation is not the end all. Remember you are starting a whole new career. Enjoy every moment of it even if it seems like a drag sometimes. Enjoy meeting your new coworkers, enjoy making a difference in other's lives, enjoy the pride that you have for all those years of hard work. This is just another one of life's lessons that you have to make lemonade out of lemons sometimes.

I know it sounds like a cutsey answer, and I was hurt for several years at their reaction on my day after four years of hard work. However, I wish someone had given me this perspective years earlier, it would of saved me years of hard feelings.

[Nightcrawler, BSN, RN]

I truly do understand your pain. No one from my family was there when I was pinned. The only one who lived in the area was my sister, and she somehow managed to buy plane tickets for a vacation that just happened to leave on the day of my pinning ceremony. To this day she doesn't understand why it was such a big deal to me.

So on the day that was the culmination of so much hard work, I had one friend that showed up to be with me.

I would definitely confront your mother and your aunt. Regardless of what they would have liked for you to achieve, you have done amazing things over the last several years, and deserve to have your family there.

[butterflyeffect]

I am not sure that your family may fully appreciate just how competitive and time consuming the process is from start to finish while trying to become a nurse. I would definitely gently confront my family by telling them that their response has made all your effort and hard work seem marginalized by their lack of support and understanding of just how difficult this path has been for you.

It also seems just based on your comments that there is something else going on here...I cannot help but think that maybe there is a sense of jealousy (although most would never admit it and might not even be consciously aware of it). Perhaps your accomplishment is a reminder to them of lost dreams and failed accomplishments...I do not know. Either way, as most others have posted...this is your time, your dream, your hard work and effort, and your time in the sun...do not sit under the umbrella just because someone else doesn't want to see you in the sun.

Feel every bit of joy and happiness without giving their comments a second thought and share that joy with those who wish to share it with you.

Congratulations! Best Wishes! Be Proud!

-butterfly

[nurseby07]

Where are you? I'll come! If not, video it and put it on youtube for us to see.

I'm sorry about your mom and brother, I sometimes don't get family...

You did it!!! Congrats!!!

If it helps: I lost one of my best friends to nursing. Simply put, I got in, she didn't. She dropped me by the 3rd quarter. I can understand, but I would never have done that to her.

And yes, thank God for the Hubbs!

[vashtee, RN]

I agree with what everyone else said about your family being jealous, and I doubt they fully understand your accomplishment. Try not to attribute to malice that which could just as easily be explained by ignorance.

I want to add that I think it is fantastic that you chose to take your time so your little ones could have their mommy around. You can't get those years back again.

Happy graduation. ::hugs::