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Hello! I am currently a nursing student as well as a mother of seven. I was recently approached by my advisor she would like to recommend me for a full scholarship to an Ivy Leagu institution. I want this opprotunity but I am having a difficult time convincing my childrens father to support me on this!! He does not value education as much as I do. He feels two years is enough I can get a job as an RN end of story:argue:. I would like to be a nurse practitioner and feel this would be a tremendous advantage. I am so frustrated with him at this point!

We have 1, 2, 3 and 4y/o that he stays home with now I am supporting the family financially he has "days off" as well as a social life outside of us. I was a stay at home mom for years and know it can be a challenge but he has time to relax I don't even ask for that!:banghead: Am I being unreasonable? How can I get him behind me on this???

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I believe if you are the main financial support for your family, then you should be able to make this decision if you would be happier and believe that is the best decision. Take into account what would have to change with all your kids....can you afford it? Loans? You can do it if you really want to....if it's important enough to you then you should do it. I feel for you because I too want to be a nurse practitioner and my husband just wants me to be an RN and be happy with that so we can start having a family (I'm 25). It is very difficult balancing eachothers needs and wants but don't let him make all the decisions. that's my two cents.

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wow....you really have a tough decision to make! unfortunately i am not married, however i am a mother so i can understand and appreciate the importance of sacrifice in a situation like this. have you ever explained to him the importance of reaching your highest career potential and the benefits that the family will have?? it's so unfortunate that your "significant other" won't support you at this stage in your life when you really need him most....not suggesting anything..but maybe you should evaluate your current situation with him!! your responsibility is to your kids first and the reality is that among other things, nobody else will provide the sort of financial security that "continuing your education" will do for them. i hope that you dont stress out about this, you have enough going on in

school and at home taking care of your kids........good luck!!!*wine

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the scholarship will cover all tuition plus some books. that is why I am so frustrated it will not cut us short and in the end i would make more too. I am 28 this chance will never come my way again. a free education this is a dream come true for me! I tried to explain that if I don't do it I will resent him forever.

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Specializes in Maternity.

this is just one of the reasons i don't miss being married! i get to make all of the family decisions now since my ex is long gone! marriage is a sacrifice, i think a lot of us can agree with that. hopefully you both can come to a consensus about this. maybe you could sit him down and explain your exact plans on how everything would work out if you were to continue on with your education. also remind him that you wouldn't be doing this just for you, it would be for him and your children as well.

good luck to you:heartbeat

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the scholarship will cover all tuition plus some books. that is why I am so frustrated it will not cut us short and in the end i would make more too. I am 28 this chance will never come my way again. a free education this is a dream come true for me! I tried to explain that if I don't do it I will resent him forever.

I am so sorry you have to go through this decision. I feel the same way you do, it's a one in a lifetime offer. Maybe you can sit down and tell him everything you said on here and ask him if he understands why you feel this would be a great opportunity. Not sure if that is an option but that is the only thing I can think of. I am in the same boat with being married and struggling...all our bills are for a 2person income..I can't work because I am taking 18 credits plus clinical. My home life is miserable because my husband is always angry and frustrated about money. He feels that we are screwed and he is constantly mean and depressed about it. For 3 months now. I am completely lost as to what to do. I cannot drop out...that is pointless and stupid at this point. I can't focus on my studies with him like this. I can't get a loan for living expenses. Everyone is denying us. Sorry, I got on here to offer you some help and I am :banghead: with my own situation.

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Specializes in Maternity.
i don't do it i will resent him forever.

what are his exact reasons for him not wanting you to do this? saying things like that to him will doom your marriage. take it from me, been there and done that.

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MAN.......I really feel for you....men can be so selfish at times!!! Thats a great opportunity, my question to you is: "Do you think that he is/will be intimidated with your success"............because the sooner you get to the finish line "the enemies begin to sweat"!! I am sure that you love him...BUT...empower yourself, your kids are depending on you...we as mothers must provide/maintain/leave a legacy for all in our family who comes after us..your loyalty and responsibility remains/lies/and is obligated to those seven kids who you carried for 9 long months. :smackingf

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Absolutely you must consider your children in this decision, but remember that they are taking notes on how you handle this struggle within your relationship. Threatening a lifetime of resentment doesn't advance you towards your educational goal and may also teach your children a poor way to communicate within a committed relationship.

I have to wonder what this potential change really means to him. Would it involve a move? Would there be a significant change in the way the family operates? Is it really because he simply doesn't value education? If so, what's that about and what does that mean about him as a parent? What is it about your education that makes him anxious for it to be over? Have you really considered his viewpoint? Is there any value to it? Points you can assess, diagnose...you get the picture.

Remember, your children are learning powerful messages about the value of education, the value of a relationship, how to work out challenges, whether to fear opportunity or embrace it.....It's not just the final decision you reach, it's how you get there that may have the greatest impact on them.

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I say go for it. Just because your advisor wants to recommend you, it doesn't mean you will actually get the scholarship. If you do get it, then make the final decision. Don't let any man hold you back.

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I'm a little more concerned about what your not saying.

I hate to say it, but a couple of things raise little red flags for me in regards to your relationship with your husband. I truely hope I'm way

off.

I would go for it, if you have a solid plan, but don't expect your husband to be helpful, he might even turn less helpful than he already is.

I one of the other posters also pointed out there is a chance you won't receive the scholarship, but I would still at least try.

I wish you the best of luck!

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Specializes in Critical Care. CVICU. Adult and Peds PACU..

You only live once ~ don't waste your precious life with less than what God has to offer.

If this were me, I would deeply regret not taking such an amazing opportunity.

Good luck.

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