Frustrated and Sad

Hi all, I need to vent and any advice would be appreciated. This is a bit complicated so please read the whole post before responding. OK J In my area there are 3 nursing programs. One is too expensive, the second is an ADN with a waiting list, and the third is a highly competitive BSN. I started at the community college for the ADN in Summer 2005 and met with my advisor who told me my placement test scores weren’t high enough to apply directly to the program, so I would first have to complete the “pre-nursing certificate” which is just some pre-req’s and then I could apply. Flash forward a year later I am done with the pre-req’s and apply for the ADN program and am immediately asked “why didn’t you apply when you first started school because your placement test scores exempt you form taking the pre-req’s?” Basically, because I was given the wrong info instead of starting the ADN in Fall 2006 I now was on the waiting list for Spring 2009. Aaaaahhhhh.

I wrote a letter and met with the Dean of Nursing who was very rude and treated me like a con-artist. I was told if I got a letter from my advisor citing her error that I could be bumped up a few semesters to make up for it. I talked to my advisor who assured me she was very sorry and had no problem writing the letter. I submitted my official letter to the Dean and 2 days later received an email saying she never got the letter from my advisor so she couldn’t help me and my request to be moved up the list was denied. I tried to talk to my advisor and she completely ignored all attempts at contact.

So, I applied to the BSN program. I have a 3.85 GPA, 2+ years of direct-patient volunteer experience with Hospice, GRE verbal was 570/ writing 600, 4 great recommendations, plus I have been an A&P and Bio tutor for the last year and a half. I thought I would be a sure thing to get in. Nope, I didn’t get in for this Spring ‘07 because my GRE math was low….370. Bad, yes, but I was told by the school nursing coordinators numerous times not to even bother with studying for the math because they didn’t even look at it. Stupid me! :smackingf I shouldn’t have listened. So I reapplied for Fall ’07 and was planning on retaking the GRE in December, but well….let me explain….

My dad was diagnosed with cirrhosis (from an autoimmune disorder) last year and it was very hard not knowing if he was going to get a liver or not. Basically holding his hand while he was slowly dying hoping that someone was out there self-less enough to donate their organs and yet feeling sad at the same time for the life lost of his future donor. I remember so many late nights and early mornings explaining what this or that drug did and why he was taking it…and why did he hurt in a certain place. If I didn’t know the answer I’d find it. This past October he was blessed with a successful liver transplant followed by a bout of severe rejection in December that was stopped (thank goodness!) with Thymo.

Later in December I got sick and was in the hospital because I had been on my period for three months because my ex-doc misdiagnosed and mismanaged my PCOS. I am fine now, but have had an exhausting 2 months from three blood transfusions and anemia. Then last week my younger and only sister was admitted to the hospital for colitis and was having a lot of pain, fever and rectal bleeding plus about 12 BM’s a day. Nothing has worked so far, so they are putting her on cyclosporine (sp?). If that doesn’t work they’re removing her sigmoid and descending colon . I am so overwhelmed with everything right now. Now that I’m getting better I have to hold it together for everyone because my dad is still recovering, and my mom is on the edge of a nervous breakdown over all of this.

Even through all of this the only thing my family wants is for me to get into nursing school...so back to that drama.

I reapplied to the BSN for Spring '07, but the school I’m currently attending didn’t mail the BSN program my updated transcript. I offered to hand deliver it because the deadline was Feb. 1st , but was told that it was too late and not necessary (?) and that she would just attach a note to my application with an explanation and list of my recent classes and grades. She also wrote that I wasn’t able to retake the GRE because I was sick, but I am in a math class now and would be done with college algebra by the time I would transfer in the fall.... Is that really ok???

So here I am stressed out and hoping for good news. It would make me and my family beyond happy to get into this BSN program. My parents are as obsessed as I am about me getting in and after the year we’ve had it would be amazing to have some good news finally. I can’t help but feel why has this been such a crazy obstacle? Did I handle the Dean correctly at my current school? The BSN program said I got a 10 on all parts of my application and 9.5 on the essay so one bad math GRE score negates all of that? I took the required statistics and got a B. Ugghh I should have reviewed for it.

If I don’t get in this time I will be so crushed. This fall I took 17 credits with 2 labs and got all A’s and a B while being co-caregiver for my dad, and still seeing hospice patients. I feel like I worked so hard and no matter what I keep getting shot down. My faith in God and the joy of helping people is pretty much the only thing that pulls me through all of this. I don’t even know what my question is really…I am just so stressed and rejected right now.