Do I need to make you a list?

[jessiern, BSN, RN]

Picture it: March 25, 2008; Small town hospital; a young, bright eyed nurse with a heart of gold (coal some days).

I had two patients in a double room, a mother and her 45 yr old Down's syndrome daughter. Both had been in since the 23rd with AGE, and I had admitted them and been their AM nurse since. So, on the 25th, after 2 days of care without compliants, Dear Sweet DIL, who lives two minutes away, shows up to visit. Within five minutes she is at the desk to complain because there is "old water" in the pitchers. Nevermind that neither was being able to tol water, or that I had refilled in no less than 4 times that day in case they needed some. Goes back to the room, comes back to inform me that daughter has a temp. Checked just 30 minutes before, feels fine to me, but I check anyway. Temp 98.9--"AND YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT GIVING HER TYLENOL?". No, usually save that for temps. So she decides daugter has headache, needs (drumroll please)...tylenol. Daugter is unable to speak, but is smiling when I go in room. Asked if she had HA, and she shakes head no. I asked mother her opinion, since she is with daughter mostly as caregiver. At time she tells me she may have HA, give tylenol. Done. In the course of her 20 minute visit DIL decides it is absurd patients haven't been bathed (offered twice, mother refused), BSC is "in the way" (well, pt has to pee somewhere dear), daugter needs new socks, floor has to be mopped NOW (daughter spilled juice, and my wet rag with soap just wasn't good enough. All those juice germs), IV must be changed- it had been in far too long (yep, I change all my IV every 24 hours), and recheck her "high temp" (which, thank heavens was down to 98.6).

To send the whole eposide to it's acme is when Dear DIL asked if I need her to write me a list of what I need to do so I do not "forget". Well, I've had it. Into ***** mode. I informed her I was capable of determining what needed to be done for my patients, her input was appreciated and would be considered, and if I felt some of her "suggestions" were of merit, then I would see to it they were done according to nursing priority.

Turns our, mother in law was tickled to see her "put in her place". Loved it. I then confessed daughter never complianed of HA, she just figured the tylenol wouldn't hurt anything and might shut her up.

I just hate it when I provide quality care for my patients for 12 hours, day in and day out, and someone who hasnt' seen the family in months comes in for 5 minutes to tell me how to do my job.

[RN1982]

Wow. She was quite inappropriate. I'm sorry you had to deal with that family member. They tend to suck up all of our time.

[oramar]

I notice a lot of nurses put families first on their abuser list. Your post explains why.

[shellsgogreen]

yikes!

[Chaya, ASN, RN]

I commend you on your restraint. I just hope you didn't bite clear through your tongue.

Chaya:banghead:

[jessiern, BSN, RN]

I commend you on your restraint. I just hope you didn't bite clear through your tongue.

Chaya:banghead:

Bite it clean off...Had to carry it out in my back pocket, right beside my alcohol swaps.

[BlueRidgeHomeRN]

bite it clean off...had to carry it out in my back pocket, right beside my alcohol swaps.

well, add "reattach tongue" to your list or you might forget...:redbeathe:lol2:

((((((:heartbeat))))))) on the rotten shift...

[miko014]

Isn't it funny how so many people think if the temp is over 98.6, they have a fever? Yesterday someone asked me what her sister's temp was and I said 98.8 and she said "Wow, she's been running that low-grade fever for days now". I was like weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell... She was fine when I explained it, but I always get the argument that "well but she normally runs about 97.2! So it's a fever for her! Do something!"

Sorry to hear about your family member troubles - I know they are often tops on my list of PITAs!!! I think a lot of it is guilt...you know, they feel bad that they haven't done anything for the patient, and so they come in and chew out the nurse. COMPLETELY unacceptable, but ther you have it.

[emsboss]

Sorry to hear about the "family". I had a similar experience... Pt came to ED at O-Dark-Thirty with a friend. Pt c/o "severe" abdominal pain. IV...fluids...Toradol...Pt asleep/friend asleep...Life is good. Stuck my head in every few minutes(no other pts) after 2 hours, friend wakes up and storms to nurses station ranting that her friend is in "excrutiating" pain and that "the whole lot of you need to be written up for derilection of duty":confused:. I explained calmly as we walked into the room that about every 10-15 min. I had been in the room and both of them had been sleeping. She again stated she was going to "write you up". I guess I was tired...I offered her my pen and said I would go get the proper forms. She declined...Pt was sleeping soundly, BTW...

[medsurgrnco, BSN, RN]

I think you dealt with it appropriately. But If I'd been the nurse, then the family would have made a complaint about my improper care of the patient and my disrespect to the family member. And management would have been on my case.

[Agnus]

"Do I need to write a list?"

me: "Yes."

This actually has worked first they are so busy making their list they forget to complain. AND more importantly once they make the list and give it to you they seem to get off the tangent of complaining and criticizing. Somehow they seem to feel that their list will fix everything or that you will follow it implicitly. Anyway once they make the list there is a lost less problem with these types.

So yea make me a list. Thank you.

[medsurgrnco, BSN, RN]

Yes, make a list. Then you have something to show management when they complain about your care of the patient!