Do you ask Q's for the truth, or to hear nice things???

Trauma Columnist · Jul 6, 2010

Many times its in how you phrase your "reality." For instance,we all know that some people can tell you to take a hike and you ask "how far?" Yet, there are others (like me) who are blunt - sometimes it comes across okay but I always re-read my posts and think how it could be interpreted.

So...I don't think its a case of posters not wanting to hear reality but rather how the reality is phrased.

racquetmom · Jul 6, 2010

Not sure about your personal incident, but I understand what you are talking about. I think people in general do want the truth, but sometimes it is hard to hear the truth no matter what. I think the premise for this forum is to vent, ask questions, but mostly try to encourage others whether it be working nurses, student nurses, or students working on pre-reqs. I have read posts where some have felt answers were "attack" mode or harsh when I thought it was more "real" approach. I don't think people start to type with the intent to hurt or lash out at someone. I think it is important to remember when we read these posts especially of someone's so called problem, we are only reading one side of the story in addition to not seeing facial or verbal expressions etc. Really, how can we say with 100% assurance that the situation will be just fine or not fine. We really don't know but we can give our perspective through our experiences or people we know experiences. I wouldn't worry about it and continue to post as you do. Maybe it just hit the person a little wrong that day, but reading the note today wouldn't upset them.

KimGau · Jul 6, 2010

I think you can tell someone the truth without being rude and condescending. In my honest opinion, when I read your reply to the persons question my first thought was that it was completly uncalled for. I agree with your thought process but not with the wording of your reply. Your first sentence "Step 1. You need be learned to make sentance good." that was making fun of someone, not offering advice. I think you can give someone an honest answer in a polite manner. I really am not trying to offend you, you asked a question and this is my honest answer.

OB-nurse2013, BSN, RN · Jul 6, 2010

Why did you bother trying to find a common ground with me just to start a whole new thread? Don't you need to volunteer somewhere or work on your 4.0? You really are not a very nice person, and I would put it in more blunt terms since thats how you like it but I don't think that sort of language is acceptable. Really though what is your issue, do you have anger problems? I never said I had a problem with the truth, I said I had a problem with how mean and rude you were and that it wasn't called for and that there wasn't any help in being that way. What's especially funny is this all got started because truthfully you couldn't take a dose of your own medicine and thats the truth, you don't want to be called out you just like to do that to others.

Texas247365 · Jul 6, 2010

This is a new post because I was trying to understand what you had said, thats all. Just trying to understand if people prefer to have things sugar coated or told bluntly. I did not want to involve the other post as that what not my post to be carrying on in. And no I dont really study for my A's, at least not in biology courses. It is too late to vol, but dont worry I did put in a few hours earlier this morning.

polka-dot, RN · Jul 6, 2010

I agree...I do see a lot of people giving the "it's ok...you can do it no matter what" type of posts, and in all honestly, I usually disagree with the majority of those but typically don't say anything to the contrary b/c I don't want to be that jerk that burst someone's bubble. Maybe standing idly by doesn't do them any favors in the long run, though. Regardless, as future colleagues we have a responsibility to treat each other with respect and that involves being both polite AND honest.

Texas247365 · Jul 6, 2010

Well the concensus seems to be that honesty is best given with a bit of sugar. I'll work on being less of an orifice about it, the military didn't do me any favors when it comes to tact, but it seems like that is a nursing requirement, so I'll work on it

OB-nurse2013, BSN, RN · Jul 6, 2010

If you didn't want to invole the other post then why did you write about it? You wrote right in there I just had "flame war" (whatever the hell that is) in your post. Just give it up already-of course people are going to say yes they want to hear the truth-who doesn't-but if they read what you wrote it had nothing to do with telling the truth. It had to do with being rude, condescending, and a jerk. Thats it, nothing more or less and you know it, you write all you want but you know you were being a jerk

maryray · Jul 6, 2010

If you insult people in your advice, then they most likely will not take your advice. It is possible not to be offending when giving the negative truth. Not everyone has that ability though.

GTbravo · Jul 6, 2010

I pride myself on being a realist and am going to have to agree with Texas that being honest and straight forward is more beneficial than sugar coating the truth and giving false hope. However, you should want to tailor your response to your audience and having tact and respect are important as the sarcasm in the original flame war post was unnecessary.

Brighten · Jul 6, 2010

No one is shying from the reality. Your previous post was rude...You need to learn how to read context clues, and you should also work on your own writing instead trying to be a grammar police because you suck at doing both.