CNA Commandments

9. Thou shall answer the call light in So & So's room for the third time in a row and be eager to help.

Thou shalt not run to thy break as soon as you put The Grouch on the bedpan... knowing she had milk of mag.

Thou shalt not throw powder on a stinky crotch because you're too lazy to get a washcloth and actually clean the person.

Thou shalt not take candy from a resident's dish without bringing some back for the other CNAs.

Thou shalt not call out and leave me to work with 2 dumbasses.

Thou shalt not wait until 10:57pm to start some sort of project.

Thou shalt not pat yourself on the back for getting your work done on time after I just did half of it.

Thou shalt not strip a bed and leave it for someone else to make up, carry poopy linens to the hopper and leave them for someone else to rinse out, clog the toilet with too much TP and leave it for someone else to plunge, etc.

thou shall not forget to take out the isolation linen and trash

thou shall not just throw the isolation trash into the bio hazard room in a box without properly finishing the box and closing it up.

Thou shall not call in "sick" the same night your new boyfriend does (especially if it's a weekend).

That's hilarious!

Thou shalt not have a patient with a runny stool colostomy bag and chart "BM X1"

Thou shalt not encourage renal patients to refuse their daily weights

Thou shalt not assume that the 96 year old 70 lb man just gets up to the bathroom (those pesky brown rings start appearing)

thou shall not hide in the patients room all morning watching t.v.

thou shall not drop the linens on the floor - think it is ok since it was less than 5 seconds - and put it on the bed. ewww!!!!

thou shall not pretend ignorance when i complain that you are disgusting for doing so.

thou shall not gather in the halls and pretend to not hear the beeping of a call light and attempt to talk louder so others will believe you are deaf.

thou shall not pretend to chart for an hour to avoid making rounds. we know better. :smackingf

thou shall not answer a call bell and then go find the resident's aide to follow through with the request.

thou shall not bypass a resident who needs to use the toilet and go find his/her aide to take her.

thou shall not ask another aide to do something that you can do your darned self in the same amount of time it took to find the other aide.

thou shall not hide all the barrier cream and "good" gowns for your residents, thus depriving the other residents.

thou shall not hang up a residents clothes and leave the bag with their socks and underwear on the hanger.

thou shall do thine job thoroughly and correctly so that the next shift does not have to finish your job before they start theirs!

Thou shall not tell me I have to get your resident up because "you've never done them before". They are a hoyer lift. I would be happy to help, but feigning ignorance after you been a CNA for 4 years, to get out of your work irks me to no end.

Thou shall not freak out on me while giving a post mortem bath because the resident "looked" at you when we rolled her.

Thou shall not text the entire time you are suppossed to be feeding.

Thou shall get out of the room if you're just going to stand there watching me give care. Contribute or scoot!!!!

Thou shall not fake giving a bath by wetting the wash clothes and bath basin, and slipping a clean gown on the still dirty resident.

Thou shall not say that the solution to a dirty pillowcase is to "flip it over to the clean side". (where does my facility find these people?)

You guys are hilarious! Keep them coming!

I'm not even a CNA yet, and I'm cracking up over here!

Well we have to laugh or we'd cry!

Thou shall not hide in a resident's room pretending to do care when trays are coming out.

Thou shall not walk in the hall talking on your cellphone.

Thou shall not stand there talking while trays are being passed.

Thou shalll not get missing for 20 minutes and come back and say you are taking your lunch break.