advice for concern please!

Well since you asked, No I don't think it is ok to marry below yourself. I don't mean to sound snobby because at first it may be ok but you will grow to resent him. I have seen it happen so many times to friends and myself. I believe you might have this thought in the back of your head or else why even ask. I wish you luck.

well call me a romantic but if you love each other and have the same values and committments, then what is the problem?

Lots of men marry women who stay at home, why is that different than a woman marrying a man who stays home? Gender roles are not written in stone.

The fact that you are questioning shows insight on your part. Why not the two of you go in for a brief counseling session and explore these feelings? It will help you clarify and make your decision a little easier.

Hi there,

My husband and I are pretty much planning to do that. I am also still a student, but working full time. After graduation, and employment as a nurse, I will be making more than I am now. I think you have great insight to be asking before you move forward with plans. My hubby isnt so great with dealing with stress, which there will be lots of with children, and being able to make those split second decisions. we have also discussed, if we cant cut it with just me "bringing in the bacon" other options. I think that it can work, but also ask yourself if he is really motivated to change plans if they need to change. If for some reason you wont be able to work (ie: around a pregnancy) will he go out and pick up enough money to support you (and baby) for a couple of months if need be? Not having a college education doesnt mean he cant make over 15,000 a year, but if he chooses not to that is a different story. I dont know how living expences are there, but I know where we are, we need to make those back up plans.

Best wishes to you!!

my husband will be a cop, i'll be a nurse, and more than likely i'll make a little more than him. i dont think it's marrying 'below' ! Do what your heart tells you but don't be naive about it.... LET ME TELL YOU there is nothing more stressful than being *broke* ... been there done that. It can do a number on a marriage.

Luck to you !!!!!!!:balloons:

A friend of mine was a big exec at the leading sugar company. (US posters have likely purchased their sugar at your grocery store). He was hauling in the bucks in CA. While he was working he was putting his wife through college.

She was offered a job making a LOT more money than he was, they moved to WA to follow her job and he couldn't find a job making nearly what he was making at the sugar company. They ended up having a baby and he has become Mr. Mom and she has become the bread winner of the family.

At first it was a pretty good ego blow for him but now that he has settled into his role as Mr. Mom he really seems to enjoy it. He is actually playing around with ideas he has always wanted to do but couldn't because the money wasn't as good (photography). It took some adjustments but they are all quite happy now.

It was just kind of odd to see him going from the mega bread winner to Mr. Mom, but it works for them.

I think the old traditional thinking of the male as having to be the main bread winner is evolving. You know, we really can't have it both ways. We can't insist that people value a full time Mom with the same respect as the bread winner and then turn around and snub the concept of her being the bread winner. Either being a full time home maker has merit or it doesn't. It can't only have merit if SHE is doing it. It has equal merit when HE is doing it.

Well since you asked, No I don't think it is ok to marry below yourself. I don't mean to sound snobby because at first it may be ok but you will grow to resent him. I have seen it happen so many times to friends and myself. I believe you might have this thought in the back of your head or else why even ask. I wish you luck.

I think to the contrary of this.

I think you are doing the right thing. Good luck :)

Hi all! I am a nursing student and I will be graduating in a year or so. I am well aware that nursing is not some great paying job but my heart is totally in it. I will be working in Houston, Texas where the pay is pretty good. This is my dilemma: My boyfriend does not have a college education and will probably never make over 15k a year. He is an artist, dedicated to his passion and family, and a wonderful man. I have always imagined him as a stay at home dad eventually and so has he. I am worried about what the future will hold for us. Do you guys think that this is an okay situation - me as breadwinner, etc. or will we be starving? I am happy to own a townhome instead of a house with an average car, etc. just as long as I am happy. Also, he is low maintenance, not at all into fancy things.:uhoh21:

A lot happens in a lifetime and one thing is for sure is that it most likely won't be what you planned (personal experience!!). As one poster said, just because he doesn't have a college education doesn't mean he'll never make over $15,000. Not sure how old you guys are, but I went back to school for nursing when I was 40. Artists make money too, maybe now he's content to sell a few pics or sell jewelry at a craft fair, but who knows, he may fall into an interest that will propel his interests to new heights, or have incredible success at something he's making now. When I was 25, I was a lot different than I am now. My second husband married me when I was making $11/hr as a nursing assistant. He has put me through school and I am excited to be making more than him when I graduate in the spring. He has an average job and I look forward to bringing home more money. We too are not into the glamorous lifestyle because of values, not because it's unattainable. I still don't plan on working fulltime when I'm an RN, 3-4 days a week will pay our bills just fine. I think it sounds like you have a nice life ahead of you!!

Well since you asked, No I don't think it is ok to marry below yourself. I don't mean to sound snobby because at first it may be ok but you will grow to resent him. I have seen it happen so many times to friends and myself. I believe you might have this thought in the back of your head or else why even ask. I wish you luck.

I completely disagree with this post. Just because your spouse has a lesser paying job than you does not mean that you are "marrying below yourself" That isn't what makes a marriage successful. It is mutual respect for one another.

Our opinions don't really matter. What matters is how you and your boyfriend feel about you possibly making more money and that he might be a stay at home dad.

Go with your heart. If you have no doubts that he is the one for you then go for it.

Good luck!

Well since you asked, No I don't think it is ok to marry below yourself. I don't mean to sound snobby because at first it may be ok but you will grow to resent him. I have seen it happen so many times to friends and myself. I believe you might have this thought in the back of your head or else why even ask. I wish you luck.

:angryfire :angryfire

I am not even going to dignify this with any other comment.

I completely agree with llg.

Well since you asked, No I don't think it is ok to marry below yourself. I don't mean to sound snobby because at first it may be ok but you will grow to resent him. I have seen it happen so many times to friends and myself. I believe you might have this thought in the back of your head or else why even ask. I wish you luck.

Hmmm, I married "below myself" 39 years ago. Guess its not going to work out then, will it?

It's all in your attitude.