what did i do wrong

Was this a newly admitted patient? If not I'm surprised it wasn't written in with the orders to crush and give with applesauce. Were all of the meds crushable?

Wait....a family member took meds out of your hands and gave them?

It could also be that your name is the one she remembered...

Incidentally, please use some punctuation. It wasn't exactly easy to figure out what you were saying because one thought just flowed right into another one.

Newly admitted? Passed a swallow eval? Were previously passed meds crushed? Were all the meds crushable? Were there orders to crush and put in applesauce? I'd be very wary about giving medications to someone else that's not an employee to give to my patient. I'm just not comfortable taking on that liability... even if I'm right there in the room.

There's a bit more that even I'd want to know... and I'm a new grad.

Know your meds and know your orders. Some facilities need an MD order to crush meds in medium of choice. Even still, an order that meds can be administered by family member

The moment that the daughter began complaining, is when the charge nurse could have made a difference. "I need to administer this medication. However, let me get the charge nurse to clarify things for you before we proceed further".

Use a paper brain (and there are lots of stickies on this site with great examples) and be sure to note if your patient has a crush order. If you do not know if a med is crushable, look it up or ask the pharmacist.

I KNOW you must be thinking "WELLLLL, if you are indeed going to do things like you do at home, by all means, take Mom home". We can all think these things time and again. However, going forward be sure you make the time to prepare for your day by just skimming the meds, how the patient takes them (as well as your orders, plan for the day) and the functional level of the patient. Be sure to let the oncoming nurse know in your report that patient takes meds crushed, that you got an order for same, and that hopefully, you also asked for a swallow eval order.

If you are "spoken to" about it, I would say that you learned what you need to do in the future. You will use your resources and ask for help in the moment.

Best wishes going forward.

At the risk of sounding a little mean here, the way you recounted the situation was nearly unintelligible, so it's hard to give you an answer. Use some punctuation, recount the story clearly, then let's figure out what happened.

So you crushed meds like the daughter asked, then she took them from you and gave them to her mother instead of letting you do it? Is that what happened? did she complain to your management? or just complain to you?

If it was just a snappy patient family member, then that's just something you have to get used to sometimes if you know you didn't do anything wrong. If it's a new patient to you then you have no way of knowing how the patient takes meds until you ask and/or are told.

Or are you saying you administered the meds wrong somehow? were they extended release meds that were not supposed to be crushed? or was the woman not able to swallow them?

Your post is confusing, clarify please.

The daughter gave the crushed medications to her Mother? Aunt?