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Discussion

Who are you talking to?

I apologize in advance, but this situation has me all over the place, and I'm quickly writing this to get it off my chest and mentally prepare for my next shift. As, a new grad of 1 month, and one week after passing my NCLEX, I just started a new job. I have been getting praise from my night shift crew, including my preceptor. They all tell me they have not had someone so eager to learn and be on their own in a long time. I’ve been doing pretty much everything on my own, except passing medications alone. I gather the medications with no problems, even though my preceptor tries to rush me to get them out faster. I can and will not rush while taking care of 16 people’s medications. I am simply not going to do that. I gathered my medications and checked over the rights to drug administration. I am the nurse who constantly goes over and over the MAR, because why not. I’m waiting for my preceptor to get his medications pulled, so I have a little extra time to ensure everything is right and ready to go. I start passing my medications with no problems. I got to my last patient, and she asks, "what am I taking"? I told her what it was and the dosage. For some reason, my preceptor wants to look at the medication before I give it. He looks at the medication, and states, “YES, this is the medication”. HE, then gives her the medication, without giving it back to me. She looks at it and states, "these are usually yellow pills", then proceeds to take the medication. He then walks past me and says "that was the wrong medication you gave her". My stomach drops, and my heart skips a beat. My whole demeanor changed, because I am so careful with my patient’s medications, and I was 100 percent sure that it was correct. We got back to the pill room, and he swings the door open, and tells me “What the hell did you just give her”? I said very sternly, “I gave her the right medication and dosage”. I then go to pull the drug card, and what do you know, it’s the right medication and dosage, just different color. He then states, “oh I guess that it’s a different manufactory now, that makes them white instead of yellow. I then made a comment, "I knew I was right", and left it at that. I try to remain humble in situations, but this situation was unnecessary. Very unnecessary. He really needs to work on how he talks and treats people. He literally told our charge nurse to shut up and go back in her office, in front of a patient. The charge nurse lets out a sarcastic laugh then says, “okay, I’ll be quiet” and goes back into her office. I’m not sure who to tell about this. Everyone is so close together, and I don't want any type of retaliation put against me. I am trying to stay sane in this new job, but I can't help to feel like he tried to set me up. Why wouldn't he tell me to go get the right medication, instead of giving it to the patient? Either way, I'm considering applying elsewhere. 

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    • Featured Replies

    12 minutes ago, Nurse.Kay.Mulan said:

    HE, then gives her the medication, without giving it back to me.

     

    12 minutes ago, Nurse.Kay.Mulan said:

    tells me “What the hell did you just give her”

    I guess I would have said, "I didn't give her anything, you did." A patient questioning the different color and shape of a medication always makes me stop and review the situation, like you did later, You can always stop and investigate but you can't get the pill back out of the patient if you find out the wrong pill was given. 

    Sounds like you are doing great. Just keep doing what you have been, take your time with medications. He sounds like a loose canon!

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    • Author
    15 minutes ago, londonflo said:

     

    I guess I would have said, "I didn't give her anything, you did." A patient questioning the different color and shape of a medication always makes me stop and review the situation, like you did later, You can always stop and investigate but you can't get the pill back out of the patient if you find out the wrong pill was given. 

    Sounds like you are doing great. Just keep doing what you have been, take your time with medications. He sounds like a loose canon!

    Thank you. I don't trust my preceptor anymore, which makes me want to leave, because they don't have another nurse to orientate me. 

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    I mean...people are weird. Obviously the situation you describe is problematic; who hands over a med when they believe it to be the wrong one, etc. The question is what are you going to make of it.

    Although in theory the person who orients you has more importance to you and your foundation than a random stranger (hopefully), sometimes you just have to put them in the category of someone next to you on the bus. And maybe they spend the whole time picking their nose. You're going to get off at your stop and you will go on with your life. In other words, this is a temporary annoyance. The emotional energy you expend on it should be very limited.

    You can still hold your own with difficult people without feeling that emotional provocation inside and reacting in a less-controlled manner. Practice it. Practice just interacting with them in a straightforward business manner instead of letting that feeling of being provoked take hold. You know what I mean? Keep communications short and pleasantly assertive. Don't forget that silence/non-responses are very powerful tools. Let him go see that the pill is simply a different manufacturer after he already tried to act all superior. He knows what he did; he knows he was wrong. Silence is beautiful in a case like that.

    In my opinion emotional control is a valuable skill to have in nursing. You don't need to go to anyone about this. What you need to do is maintain a very steady demeanor and let him pick his nose until it's time for you to get off at your stop. The one who controls him/herself comes out ahead.

    ???

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    14 hours ago, Nurse.Kay.Mulan said:

    For some reason, my preceptor wants to look at the medication before I give it. He looks at the medication, and states, “YES, this is the medication”. HE, then gives her the medication, without giving it back to me. She looks at it and states, "these are usually yellow pills", then proceeds to take the medication. He then walks past me and says "that was the wrong medication you gave her".

    I think his thought pattern was: It is the right med and dosage, so give it to the patient. Patient inquires that it is a different color and before he can stop her, she takes it. He realized that he potentially gave the wrong med to a patient and second guesses that it was the right med and dosage. Since you are the one that pulled the med, he tried to blame you. 

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    • Author

    I thought about this situation after my shift and I have decided not to let him make me feel like I'm "unsure" all the time, when I am confident in the things I do. If he has things to teach me of course I'll listen, but I only have 2 more weeks of orientation, and will/can make it through. 

    -Kaymulan

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    I would of looked at him like this. 

    snoop-dogg-who.gif
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    • Author
    4 hours ago, Snatchedwig said:

    I would of looked at him like this. 

    snoop-dogg-who.gif

    ? 

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    On 10/7/2021 at 9:54 AM, Nurse.Kay.Mulan said:

    I thought about this situation after my shift and I have decided not to let him make me feel like I'm "unsure" all the time, when I am confident in the things I do. If he has things to teach me of course I'll listen, but I only have 2 more weeks of orientation, and will/can make it through. 

    -Kaymulan

    I’m soooo glad to read this! Some people are just jerks & unfortunately some, no matter how “nice” they might seem, will try to throw you under the bus. Just be aware of them & Keep your standards in how you set up & give meds—do NOT take short cuts! We need good nurses like you—hang in there & good luck! 

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    If this is LTC and your using bingo cards manufacturers change all the time. It’s about what’s available at pharmacy and what was cheap. 
    the preceptor seems a little unhinged. I would have pulled the pills out of the patient hand and looked to see if it really was a mistake or a change in manufacturing OR the dreaded “last shift gave the wrong med” scenario. 
    DON’T  let any coworker talk to you like  that. Immediately I would have stated “excuse me that seems a little aggressive”. Sometimes you just need to stand up and say something when people act like that. It puts them on notice that you won’t tolerate that behavior. He is going to continue to push the envelope to see what he can get away with. 
    I had a coworker call me “sweetie” and I nipped that right in the bud. It was condescending and I didn’t appreciate it nor tolerate it.

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    • Author
    21 hours ago, vintagegal said:

    If this is LTC and your using bingo cards manufacturers change all the time. It’s about what’s available at pharmacy and what was cheap. 
    the preceptor seems a little unhinged. I would have pulled the pills out of the patient hand and looked to see if it really was a mistake or a change in manufacturing OR the dreaded “last shift gave the wrong med” scenario. 
    DON’T  let any coworker talk to you like  that. Immediately I would have stated “excuse me that seems a little aggressive”. Sometimes you just need to stand up and say something when people act like that. It puts them on notice that you won’t tolerate that behavior. He is going to continue to push the envelope to see what he can get away with. 
    I had a coworker call me “sweetie” and I nipped that right in the bud. It was condescending and I didn’t appreciate it nor tolerate it.

    I absolutely agree. We no longer engage in conversation unless it is about work. 

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    • Experts

    In nursing the very old saying goes “nurses eat their young” unfortunately it was true when I was a new nurse and it is still true today.  As the other posts stated you will need to grow a thicker skin and use this experience as something to learn from.  

    I was so rattled by the charge nurse I took advantage of employee assistance (EAP) and it helped so much.  I have been a nurse over 30 years and I can reminder how I felt like it was yesterday.  I treat everyone with respect no matter what position they hold.  You are not alone and there are so many kind, smart, caring, skilled nurses out there that you will learn from. The burnout shells you encounter are unhappy and often sad because they believe they have no other options.

    Stay true to your self, your values and your oath.  Best to you. Mary

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