4 weeks...(venting)
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Hello all,
I usually don't post often, but I guess for some reason I felt compelled to do so just to let some of my frustration out. I am currently in week 4 of my first semester of nursing school and I hate to say but I'm starting to feel like maybe nursing isn't for me. I've tried to stay positive in my outlook and remind myself to stay determined.
I just really want to know if anyone else has experienced the up and down feelings while going to school. Some days I feel confident in my knowledge of procedures and how to take care of the patient, then others I feel like screaming "What in the world am I doing?!?"
Our lab requires us to do 23 bp's before doing a checkoff of our skills with our instructor. I did my 23 felt confident in what I did was right and when I perform my check off I find that I was off by 10, some of the procedure I did wrong. For one, 2/3rds of the class wasn't doing the two step method and secondly how do we know if we are doing it right when performing it on other students who do not have the experience either?? Being the first one in there for check offs of course I was embaressed all to hell because you have to take a fellow student in with you for the assessment. So by the end of the day everyone knew I screwed up and what I screwed up on. Doesn't help with the self-esteem much when that happens.
We are allowed 3 chances for check offs and if we cannot do it we are out of the program. I already have one strike against me, so I have two more chances to get it right. What is mostly nerve wracking to me right now is the what if's. What if I can't do it and I'm wrong again for the next two times at check offs. I have just wasted 4 yrs of schooling to be kicked out because I'm not within +/- 4mm of the bp. I have practiced so much on my husband over the past week that his poor arms are sore.
Just some days when I leave school I just feel so dumb, hence why I'm posting this. I just had to get this off my chest and hopefully it will help me to just move on.
Thanks for letting me vent.