Unsatisfied Mom

[Akeos]

I've been working in pediatric home health for 10 months. I was hired as a new grad and have 2 families I work with and have been with both since i started. one family who has the high acuity child i only work for 1 day a week and the mother is VERY particular about her child's care, which is understandable; but i mean the DON is so scared of her that when i called after hours for a situation she should have been able to help me troubleshoot she said that the mom was too particular and i needed to wake her up, even though it wasn't a situation i really needed the mom for, just some experienced nursing advise. Anyways, this mother has gone through about 7 nurses in the last couple months, and at least 10 since i started, honestly i've lost count its been so many. I am the only nurse left that's been here for more than 2 months, and from what I heard when i started she had never kept a nurse for more than 3 months; her child has had full time nursing for at least 3 years. She tells me that she only sleeps well when i'm working, which is nice to hear, and a positive sign. but i'm terrified that i'm going to say something that annoys her and get fired along with all the others. I'm taking good care of her child, but I trained the last nurse she got rid of so i know for a fact that she took good care of the patient and was very experienced in home health, but the mom claimed that she just couldn't get along with her, because she asked questions like where stuff was kept (it was her first shift alone) She didn't last more than a 2 shifts alone before the mom called the agency to get someone else..Really she spends less than 30 minutes with the nurses only to give and get report, I don't think you need to love the person to have them be a good car giver for you child. especially when you spend so little time with them! sorry to drag this one. My point is I'm scared of saying something that just annoys her and her getting rid of me, this is my first job and getting fired, even if its just from the family, not the agency would be heart breaking. I want to get out of this situation so bad, I'd much rather be the one to leave than get "fired", and with her record, it's pretty much a certainty that I will get the boot at some point in time, for something I annoyed her with, not because of the level of care i'm giving her child. has anyone been in this type of situation before, or any ideas on how to deal with this?

[caliotter3]

I always consider myself to be in some version of this kind of situation. It is never known when the client's family member will get a burr up their butt and decide to call the agency to can you. I detest it when they lie in order to get what they want. It is to be expected. If this is going to cause you undue anxiety to the point of illness, be firm with your agency. Tell them that you have decided this is not the case for you and you want to be transferred to the first available case that comes open that seems to fit your needs. Every person has their comfort zone. It is not necessary to add to one's stress by continuing to be on pins and needles every shift that you work. Tell the agency. Remind them, until they get you off the case.

[somedaypeds]

Yes, I am in a similar situation - mom has gone through a nurse a month and has a temper that has been aimed at me several times. . Last time it was because I "forgot" to pack a hat for the child and it was sunny out on our walk from the car to the door of the hospital. Of course, a hat was not on the list I had her provide me with of things to make sure we had when we went out (because the last appt also went the same - me getting yelled at for "forgetting" to bring something that I "should have known to bring".).

The agency does not have another case for me now and I have to pay bills, so I am trying my hardest to make this mom see how much I care for her child. I also added a hat to that list.

[xandarosa]

Wow. You would love me. I'm a rn with kid needing nurses. I think I should love my nurses that work with my son but these people sound horrible. I'm easy going so must nurses want to come back. Plus I have the cutest kid ever I'm staying home health soon and scared because of parents like thrones you mention.

[LTV950rn]

I would get out of this ASAP. It is never good to be put on a pedestal like that. Things will hit the fan.

At some point, your agency needs to remind this parent that they can request all they want not to have nurses come back, but at some point, they won't have any nurses left to staff the case.

As for the mom getting upset with the other poster about forgetting the hat- how rude! I have no problem telling a parent, respectfully of course, that I expect to be talked to me in a respectful manner. Otherwise, the case manager should be made aware. I work a case at times where mom often yells at nurses. 2 of the "bigwigs" basically had to make a visit and inform mom that she must communicate with the nurses in a respectful manner. How sad is it that a parent has to be told that.

[LTV950rn]

Wow. You would love me. I'm a rn with kid needing nurses. I think I should love my nurses that work with my son but these people sound horrible. I'm easy going so must nurses want to come back. Plus I have the cutest kid ever I'm staying home health soon and scared because of parents like thrones you mention.

I wish all parents could be like you!

[ventmommy]

You got yelled at for forgetting a hat? Umm, you are not the mom! I pack all the stuff like that. I actually pack everything and our nurse doublechecks that everything MEDICAL actually made it into the van.

To the OP, that mom sounds a little too controlling, manipulative and passive-aggressive. I know other moms through SN groups in and out of the hospital and there are some that make me wonder how they ever get staffing. I hope you can find another case soon.