Sunday October 8 2023

Good morning.

Joe, sounds like a good day.

I hope Mr. Stars is doing okay.  

I'm mulling over getting long term care insurance for myself as I have no children to look after me.  I think I can have it deducted from my paycheck for now.   I'm also enquiring from work whether it's mandatory for me to sign up for Medicare next year or if I can delay it so I can still contribute to my HSA.  I like the HSA and having those funds there when I need new glasses, dental work (always a thing with me) and co-pays.  Plus my employer contributes $500 a year to the funds.  That pays for my glasses.

Got a haircut and will do some cooking and go to the gym.  Windows are open and air conditioner off for the first time in many months.  

Have a great day.

Early this morning I woke up huddled in a ball.....it was cold! I got up and tossed a blanket over my comforter and went back to sleep.

Although I had my fully charged phone on the mattress right next to my pillow, I have rec'd NO phone calls. Neither the doctor at the hospital nor the nurse called me last night as they promised to, so I don't know if they were able to complete the head scan or not. Ppfftt!  

Haven't even heard from his dgt, so I dunno.

I will call the hospital in a short while to see what anyone has to say. Maybe I will get to visit him some this afternoon.

.....to be cont'd......

The hosp main line transferred my call to go to his nurse, and I got cut off after 15 rings. Called back and the main operator put me on hold for 7 repeats of their "on-hold" music; she then came back and said she would have to have the doctor give me a call. Fifteen minutes later the NP called me, and I told her I was supposed to get a call last night. She said they did get the scan done, eventually, but it was quite late and that's why they didn't call me. I said I kept the charged phone on my bed beside my pillow, and it doesn't matter WHEN they call me. She told me they want to do an MRI on him because it shows more than a scan, but they have to sedate him again. Probably since the MRI schedule for out-patients is busy-busy during the day, so they usually do the in-patient MRIs during the night.

The neighbor is coming over to sit, so I will go to the hospital to see him, maybe try to 'do' his fingernails if I am able,

More later----- 

Good morning. Yesterday was quite warm, in the mid 70s. I am slowly putting the garden to bed for the Winter, cutting things down, scattering cover crop, spreading some mulch. Our littlest dog, Jozie, has discovered the one stretch of fence that we didn't reinforce with wire fencing, and can squeeze her body between the pickets. So fixing that is on today's agenda. We found out at breakfast this morning that the diner will be closing for a month. One of the original owners passed away so they are taking some time to mourn. Dd and her boys are coming over today to meet the dogs and have dinner. dh volunteered to grill. I suggested chicken skewers with onions and peppers, and he didn't really say yes or no. 

Tweety, I believe you can put off signing up for Medicare A if you are still working and have insurance. Checking with your employer is a good idea. I liked having an HSA, but my employer only contributed the year I started. 

Annie, I admire your willingness to not cut ties with your stepson. I can't even imagine how trying that must be. And hurray for getting your bag!

Joe, that sounds like you had a nice time with your aunt. Maybe your dad will come along next time. 

Stars, please take care. I am sure the hospital staff are doing what they can, and late night phone calls are always a crap shoot. Perhaps Mr. Stars will be a little clearer today. I have no doubt that he is undernourished, after what, a year of heavy drinking? At least with TPN, they can limit GI protein, to cut down on ammonia build up. 

When I mentioned including DIL, I meant by conference call. Sorry, I know there is animosity. I used to see it a lot when I worked in the hospital. It wore out staff to have to talk to multiple family members and get opposing sides. Of course, you have the final say. 

Stars, indeed an MRI would show more.  Often with stroke-like symptoms a CT will show if it's hemorrhagic but not ischemic right away and an MRI is the next step.  All the best.

J22, I think you are right, but my financial advisor told me to stop contributing six months prior to me turning 65 and signing up for medicare and I'm not sure he's right about that.  It's odd because he works for a large company and is not on medicare but is 65 so he said he signed up.  Best friend's employer, University of Texas, told a coworker of hers she had to sign up for medicare at age 65 (he thinks because he himself retired at age 62).   Enjoy the time with family later.

Dianah, I love little theater.  The actors are usually quite good and passionate about what they are doing.  

Oh, yeah, so I called hubby's dgt this AM and said that, though I as supposed to receive a phone call last night, I did not and that I was going to call over there and get somebody to tell me something about last night's Scan! The dgt's reply was a sunny-voiced: "Okay, well, keep me informed!" I got a neighbor to come and sit while I ran in to see hubby.

Meanwhile the dgt was doing an end-run around me; little did I know she was almost AT the hospital when I talked with her. 

Imagine my surprise when I went into his room and found his dgt and grand-dgt at his bedside! She said she had been calling the nurses for information (all the while she was telling me to keep her informed). She was just oh-so-proudly putting lotion on his legs: "I just feel so maternal towards him." (Barf)

And the nurse in the room kept talking and explaining stuff to the dgt while *I* was standing right there. I don't care if she has the info, it just brought home to me that she still doesn't trust me to do the right thing, or tell her the truth. In other words she is still firmly holding on to her grudges about me. She wants to be in charge, but she can't be. Hubby has specifically said he did not want her thinking that she has any right or say in any of that. I don't want to tell her all the things he has said about her, as I don't want to hurt her feelings about him. But he has been disgusted with her for a number of years for good and legitimate reasons.

I will probably end up having to get a lawyer at some point as she still thinks it should have been her Daddy and her that Nannie left everything to: she thinks Nannie's will should have had nothing to me because *I* am 'not her family.'     SMH.  

And she has NO IDEA of the frank discussions about end of life care or desires that he and I have been having with each other periodically down the 34 years we've been married.

Grinds my butt that she has managed to get herself on the "OK to inform" list, but okay, so she's his daughter. I am willing to bet she has already managed to insert herself in the doctors conference with me. SHE wants to hear what THEY have to say about him and future care, and try to influence them, over me. She doesn't trust me to be accurate with her. But I don't lie to her about any of his care and conditions; it is her usual sneaking-self who thinks she can one-up me or under-cut me or something. That says more about her and her deceased mother (who dgt comes to sound more emotionally and mentally like every day) like, the fruit ain't fallin' far from the tree.

Hubby is actually doing a little bit better, except now he has to have the mittens on both hands to keep him from picking and pulling all the lines and tubing. He can look me in the eye if I speak clearly and directly to him, and answer me. I had the dgt and grand step out of the room so I could talk to him in private. She gave me about two minutes and I bet she was listening at the door. I wanted him to confirm his ideas and decisions we'd spoken about before, the end-of-life care and what he wants and what he most definitely does not want. He is still on that page, wholeheartedly.

They were able to complete the scan last night "quite late" and didn't want to call me and disturb me. I was more disturbed by NOT receiving a call. I told the nurse I keep my fully charged phone right on the bed beside my pillow , and I want them to call me no matter what time it is. (And to call ME first!) I know that docs and nurses get their ears filled with family soap-opera-type disagreements, and I don't intend to turn it into that, but I don't intend her to start dictating what is going to be planned for down the line. She has ignored him, kept away from him, and not ever offered to help him in any way, or ask what he might need her to do for him; all behaviors that have clearly manifested themselves too frequently ....well, she made herself scarce by not answering his phone calls or text messages, many times!

They were not able to start a picc line on him, but I couldn't understand what the nurse said about why they were waiting. And they THINK he might be sedated again tonight, if that's when they are going to attempt an MRI, but, of course, they aren't sure about the MRI schedule.

Oh I know I sound like I am spitting nails, but I am civil (and not cold) and calm with the dgt, but she is an especially a real 'special' piece of work....entitled, doncha know.

Blah-dee-blah-blah.