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Discussion

Single parenting and nursing hours?? Help Me please!

Hello,

I'm a single parent (recently split from other parent due to abusive reasons). I only stayed with him for the help with our 5 year old because it seems health care hours are not suited for single parents. I have no family/friends support either. 12h night shifts are out the question as there is no one to keep her overnight and 12h dayshifts are out the question as there is no one to take her to keep her on the weekends I'd have to work (weekend rotations are a requirement here). I currently obtained a new job in outpatient but the job is 9a-5:30 m-f with overtime m-f that goes until 7-9pm every day. I've been constantly going back and forth with staff explaining to them I can't stay later than 6, (this is so I can meet my child's daycare's bus at my house in time). I've explained my situation to my employer and they don't care to put it simply. I'm already paying almost $1k for daycare services after school. Daycares are only typically opened from 6am-6pm m-f. I'm worried I'm going to be terminated or have to leave this position. I thought about home health but it seems hard to get into in NYC. I rather not go back to the abuse just for the help if I don't have to. Any ideas? =(

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    PLEASE don't go back to an abusive relationship! You and your 5 year old deserve better than that, there has to be a way. Are you on facebook? There are probably mom groups in your area that you could join to meet people. There may be a community page so you could meet other people in the area, especially your current neighbors, and find someone. You could contact the local youth services department, they may have resources on responsible babysitters, especially high schoolers or college students that could provide some coverage.  I can only imagine that single parenting brings huge challenges related to this issue for many people, I hope that someone else here has suggestions from experience. Good luck!

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    • Author
    2 hours ago, JBMmom said:

    PLEASE don't go back to an abusive relationship! You and your 5 year old deserve better than that, there has to be a way. Are you on facebook? There are probably mom groups in your area that you could join to meet people. There may be a community page so you could meet other people in the area, especially your current neighbors, and find someone. You could contact the local youth services department, they may have resources on responsible babysitters, especially high schoolers or college students that could provide some coverage.  I can only imagine that single parenting brings huge challenges related to this issue for many people, I hope that someone else here has suggestions from experience. Good luck!

    Thanks and I have had to delete all of my social media accounts in that regard due to him and his friends/family harassing me. I've gone to the police before about his threats and the police made it as if I deserved it because I have a child with him. Useless. So I just keep my head low from it. Such a difficult situation I'm in. Thanks again for the advice!

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    Maybe you could make a new facebook without a lot of identifying information just so you can meet people in your new community. If not, maybe there's a child and family services office nearby that could help you with resources? Or maybe a home health position will work out for you. Wishing you the best of luck. Congratulations on what must have been a very difficult move to leave him. Keep focusing on the fact that you have done what's best for you and your child in the long run. Take care.

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    • Expert

    Visiting Nurse Service of New York  has traditional home health visits, private duty, palliative and hospice care.  Many positions available that would work for you.     Home + Specialty IV infusion providers offer daytime hours. Outpatient surgicenters and clinics have Mom friendly hours.  Indeed.com seems to have many positions listed for PA/NJ/NY area  RN positions available.  Best wishes for finding one that suits your Mom needs. 

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    On 5/5/2021 at 11:58 AM, CardiTeleRN said:

    Thanks and I have had to delete all of my social media accounts in that regard due to him and his friends/family harassing me. I've gone to the police before about his threats and the police made it as if I deserved it because I have a child with him. Useless. So I just keep my head low from it. Such a difficult situation I'm in. Thanks again for the advice!

    1.  Get a fb without your real name.  Mine is my first name and a different last name, due to harassment.   And I don't post pics of myself very often, nor much identifying info.  You don't have to post your profession, your city, where you graduated etc. If you aren't sure who you can trust to be your "friend" then don't tell them your new page name.  

    2.  If the police aren't taking your reports of harassment seriously then you need to find a free law clinic that can give you advice.  Many, many women have kids with their abusers and having one doesn't mean there isn't a problem.  Please do something before he does something worse to you. Call a crisis helpline in your area for help and referrals if needed.  

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    I hope you have a good lawyer and the support of Social Services meant to help abused women. You need as much muscle to support you as possible.

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