Sending Condolences

[EMSnut45, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

I'm new to the RN role, and new to the ICU. I cared for a young(er) woman during her long ICU stay while she battled cancer. I saw her, her wonderful husband, two young children, sisters, and mother during the good times, and the bad. Her and her family truely touched my heart, and left a mark forever. Unfortunately, she succumed to her cancer after a long, strong battle. I'm having a difficult time coming to terms with her death-- I know that she had the drive, support, and excellent medical care, but I can't stop thinking about her family.

So, here is my question... Would it be crossing professional boundaries if I mailed a brief note to her husband and children?

[leslie :-D]

yes, that would be appropriate and a lovely sentiment.

you were their nurse for a notable amt of time, and formed a meaningful relationship.

but as you stated, keep it brief.

i know the family will be warmed to hear from you.

and, you can take this opportunity to encourage hospice's bereavement services.

it's such a personal time with dying folks, isn't it?

leslie

[mamamerlee, LPN]

By all means, write a note. I have been to a number of funerals/viewings, etc., and each time I have been greeted with hugs and thanks and tears, and usually introduced to everyone there - - - "This was ____'s nurse, I told you all about her before......." Always makes me feel good; I know it is appreciated.

[S.Gettes]

I do not think that there is anything wrong with that at all, i think quite the opposite actually, it would be such a nice gesture for you to make to the family in this time that would surely be one of such grief for them. They will be happy to know that even after the passing of her there is still a nurse who cared for her who still thinks of her and the family. It is always sad to watch someone pass away, sad to watch them fight so hard and for so long only to lose the battle in the end. A short note of your condolences will be much appreciated by them and will make you feel so much better for letting them know just how much she touched your life in the period of time that you knew her.

[TiffyRN, BSN, PhD]

It is common practice in our Neonatal ICU to send a sympathy card from the unit but I'm sure some of the nurses send individual cards. It's not unusual for nurses of some of our longer term patients to go to the funeral.

I think it's quite appropriate and does not cross any lines.

[highlandlass1592, BSN, RN]

I agree with the other posters. It's definitely appropriate. As TiffyRN stated on her unit they send a sympathy card. We do the same on our unit as well. Staff sign the card then it is mailed to the family. I too have went to funerals for patients...sometimes I haven't been able to go due to being too emotional. You know, a key component of nursing is forming a bond with our patients. I see honoring a patient in death as a natural closing of that bond. I just lost a patient a few months ago....hit me pretty hard. She was the same age as my mom when she passed away and she had daughters that were around my age. She had a long battle and ultimately succumbed to her illness. I will never forget her. We chatted many nights when she couldn't sleep (I work night shift) and I will never forget the night when she took a turn for the worse. She kept saying to me "don't let me die"...I have never felt so helpless in my life. I did my best by her..and I'll never, ever forget her as I said earlier.