Hi all. I am a new grad on Med Surg Tele in a small town doing the StaRN program at an HCA hospital. I have a 10,000 contract for 2 years. 8000 for the cost of the didactic training, and a 2,000 bonus (which I have no received). My experience has been terrible and I want to quit. I come to work crying, and find myself crying and getting drained at work. I had 5 weeks of didactic training and a 7 week preceptorship that did not prepare me in the least. My preceptor had less than a year of experience himself. The preceptor even told me he was burnt out and if the staff wasn't so good to him, he would have quit a long time ago. I have been off orientation for almost two weeks and I'm struggling, missing things and feeling scared my license may be on the line pretty much every shift. I have a 7:1 ratio on night shift. I do my very best, but I feel so lost. My charge nurse gets frustrated with me and I get scared coming to her with my endless questions. I have had travel nurses tell me that my floor is terrible and if I could make it there I could make it anywhere. Most of our equipment is slow or doesn't work, we don't have computers on wheels, we are constantly fighting for vitals machines. I don't want to lose my dreams and my career over a bad start, but I have no idea how to address this. I'm already trying to apply for other jobs. Please be constructive. Thank you.