furelite

Your son needs help. You did the right thing. This isn't something you can "fix" on your own. You will feel guilty, this is normal. You need to absolve yourself of your own guilt, and know you are doing what is best for him, even if he doesn't know it or realize it at this time. You are being strong. It is very easy to continue to enable and that isn't helpful for his recovery. Hugs.

I lived in Tyler until recently. There are no decent places to live near the hospital. Also, Texas in general is not a place you can live without a car. It is not like big cities with bus routes. There is like one cab company in town and three or four actual cabs. There is no Uber. There won't be places for you to walk to or ride a bus to for shopping, etc. You NEED a car. Also, I am pretty sure they low balled your offer. When I started my job as a new grad the beginning pay was line $23.10 per hour. If they offered you below 23 it is below the beginning pay for brand new nurses. You will need a car. Your orientation period will be brief, then you are set out on your own to sink or swim. If you are very competent and self confident, you might make it.

A lot depends on the floor you are being offered. Some good floors, some run screaming, get a clear picture of your orientation process before being put on your floor. Some floor give little, others do a better job. Grande Hill apartments are nice.

Oh, I forgot to add...last week I had to put my beloved dog down at the age of 6 after he suddenly bloated. Forgive my pity party. I will recover.

Thank you everyone for your words. Today is our 26th anniversary, so while not trying to sound like a mental patient, that's what I am today. I have started to contemplate a rural job or an outpatient clinic if I can find one that will take a new grad. At this point moving away is probably what I need, though I love my home I cannot afford to stay in it after this is all over. It is painfully clear at this point that he wants totally out. On top of that, tomorrow I must return home as my children have come in for the holiday. God give me strength.

Can I leave it off resume?

Thanks y'all. We have been in counseling together, and now are in separate counseling. During our couples counseling, my husband could never come up with anything that we needed to work on. He could come up with NOTHING other than he "wasn't happy" and that there were things I did that made him emotionally angry that he knew were dumb (like leaving my hairbrush out) but logically he knew they were dumb and never said anything. Apparently years of me not doing things just right and him never voicing an opinion led to resentment, and then surfaced some personal issues about how he deals with life, etc that our counselor then told him he needed individual therapy. I am still seeing this guy and have another appointment on Monday. I think the affair has cast a fog over him that now he has rewritten our entire history of 25 years. On any given day he will say "I haven't been happy for (1, 3, 15 years...whatever the choice of the day is). It is maddening. He won't help me heal, as he gets pissed if I ever ask him where he's going, where he's been, etc). Anyway, it is hard for me to imagine that anywhere will hire me with two months experience, but maybe there is a chance. I just don't know. At this point, we are still married and he makes a good income. I have been reading about "mental breakdowns" and am not sure how long it will be until I feel normal. I sometimes fantasize about opening my own shop, I used to run a mobile business, but I know I can't make any decisions at all right now. I saw experienced nurses on my unit make mistakes, omissions, get complaints all the time with no repurcussions. The verbal counseling for the complaint really upset me. As soon as you are off the 5 week orientation, you are treated exactly like the seasoned nurses with the same load, same admissions, same expectations. Is is like that everywhere? Additionally, I was working nights which I thought would help me learn but only added to my lack of sleep.

Last week I removed myself from patient care mid-shift because I felt I was not safe. I had just come off of 5 weeks of precepted orientation as a new grad on a very busy med/surge floor that is the melting pot for all levels of acuity patients. Some easy, some very complicated with issues and problems I have never seen. Many total cares, c diff, tubes and drains and different dr. preferences that aren't written anywhere. Precepting went well for the first two weeks, as my preceptor was always there. Then, staffing got short and I was paired with the charge nurse who took the opportunity to just turn her patients over to me so she could charge (no free charges and they have a ton of work to do along with patients.) I was operating on my own, she was available for questions at first, but increasingly to busy to help much. I got along pretty well. After a long night of caring for a pedi patient during my 3rd week of orientation (which I am not trained for) I got a call from management the next day that there was a "patient complaint" from the parent. Essentially they felt I had not provided adequate attention, though they never said anything during the shift (and were actually quite nice), to me,,,, and my preceptor never checked on them. I got a verbal warning my 3rd week in orientation due to the influence of the HCAPS ratings and pretty much told that if I had been a real nurse, I would have been fired. That really affected me because if anything else, my patients had all loved me. but I was determined to shake it off. Flash back to my final semester of nursing school/NCLEX, my husband of 25 years informed me he had been having an affair and wasn't sure "what he wanted" as I was starting my new job. He has since treated me with coldness, callousness and resentment on a nightly basis. He says he is "deciding" if we should stay married. All this is increasingly stressing me out as time goes on. He acts all happy and himself when the kids are home, but as soon as they are gone its' back to "my feelings haven't changed", he barely speaks to me much less shows any caring ing or affection at all. It has been a real roller coaster, and his actions of late have all indicated that the affair has resumed. My anxiety has increased to the point where I have panic attacks, have lost 25 pounds in 4 months, feel sick all the time and can't sleep. But i was determined to press on. So after my 5 weeks orientation (15 shifts), I am on my own trying to focus on detail, safety and learning with new patients daily with things I don't know about or how to treat safely without asking. But all the other nurses are too busy to help and I am messing up, running behind, being berated for being too slow because I can't think. And I am told a new admission for me is on the floor when I haven't even come close to finishing my med (forget about thorough assessments) On top of it all, they decided to wax the floors in my hall and I slipped and fell entering a patient's room. I started the shift hyperventilating, but felt i could handle my load. One patient was total care, mute, immobilized, on ISO and had multiple PEG drugs into a PEG tube I had never seen before. I needed help, but no one could help me d/t their loads. I had a full blown mental breakdown, and as I hovered over this patient about to administer drugs that I could barely read, didn't know about nor how to do it correctly, I stepped away. I was not safe. I informed the house supervisor I was unsafe to continue patient care. I could tell they were pissed, and knew that with my verbal warning would be enough for them to reasonably discharge a probationary employee. I was in fear of losing my license by doing something harmful. I resigned on the spot and remained until patient care was transferred to a new nurse. It's just too much for me to handle right now....learning basically on my own while my personal life if falling apart. My blood pressure is 175/109. While I know resigning may be the death knell of this career, at this point I am not sure when or if I will be able to return to competence. It is humiliating, heartbreaking and sickening to me. I had also learned that they started floating new nurses just off orientation to other floors. Hell, I can barely function on my own floor. I realize I am going under what used to be called a "mental breakdown". I am not a psycho person, and have never experienced anything like this before. I know these are situations that nurses deal with all the time, yet I cannot feel that in these situations new grads are set up to fail. Any hope for me? Thinking about going back to dog grooming. I have a Masters degree from eons ago, but it is rather outdated.

Thanks y'all. I do understand where the miscommunications took place and see where I need to improve. I guess I am also feeling a little thrown out to the wolves, since apparently my preceptor never even went into the room to double check on my work or the patient/family. I know when I am on my own there won't be anyone doing that, but I am still on orientation (started on the floor first of October). Also, I have not been trained in pediatric care, and they won't let any nurse take a pediatric patient who hasn't been. My preceptor is pediatric trained and a very experienced nurse, but this didn't help me last night. I am dreading going in tonight. I am sure they were all talking about me all day.

I am a new grad on a busy M/S floor on day 16 of my floor orientation. I have two more weeks under a preceptor, though I have been caring for my patients independently for the past several shifts with supervision over my charting. I work in a hospital that has no formal residency or training program, you essentially get paired with a preceptor and are expected to take on 4-5 patients independently by the end of 6 weeks on the floor if not sooner. People are very helpful, but of course it is very scary as a new nurse on this type of floor especially, as every patient is a different set of problems never encountered before as an inexperienced nurse. I worked last night, and everything seemed to go just great with my patients overall. I did my hourly rounding and made frequent checks. I got called in this afternoon to meet with my manager. I was terrified I had made a medical error...but instead, I received a verbal warning based on a complaint regarding my interpersonal interaction with a parent and the care of their child last night. I am not going to go into specifics, but there was no indication through the night of dissatisfaction, and the patient was sleeping most of the time except during an episode of acute pain, which I attended to promptly. However, the parent's perception of my service was very negative (no med errors or unsafe practices...essentially a negative interpersonal impression). Of course, with all the emphasis on the patient experience and ratings, they take this complaint very seriously. My preceptor was never notified of any issues through the night. Now I have a verbal warning that I have to sign, and am feeling like a failure. How do I regroup? Maybe this sounds silly to everyone else, but I feel I have a target on my back, though my clinical skills are not in question and up until now, I have gotten really good feedback. The thing is, I get along with almost everyone really well, and my patients...up until this one, have always loved me. The patient's parent complained loudly, and took it up the administrative chain. Now I have to sign a verbal warning because this complaint will take our patient satisfaction ratings down significantly. Of course I can reflect back and understand misperceptions and miscommunications and will learn from it. I just feel like this will have a very negative impact on my success and am doubting myself and my career. I guess I am looking for support. Being disciplined is not something I am used to. I am a third career new nurse and now am questioning everything.

Don't worry about it at all. It happens to everyone, and sometimes in the most unexpected places. I am not squeamish all. I have put in many IVs. The other night I was at clinical, was trying to start an IV and was having a hard time with it and suddenly I almost passed out. The room was warm, I felt dizzy and had to sit down. NEVER happened before in any situation and this one wasn't even bloody or gross or anything! Your body sometimes does weird things. I was talking to a med school resident the other day. He said EVERY student in his class at one point either fainted or almost fainted during a surgery.

How did you get 30 mls per hour? When I work it I get a much higher number. Are you just using the 30 as an example? I feel like I am going crazy. ml/hr = 250ml/10mg*1 mg/1000mcg*1mcg/1kg/min*71kg/1patient*60 min/1hr = 106.5ml/hr?????

Seems to me Motown is simply offering to students who may be contemplating their futures a specialty of nursing they may not have considered. There have been several posts from students looking for non-bedside typical positions. I was interested to read this post. Thanks motown.

I may be completely naive, and too hopeful. However, I have read over and over about how new grads won't find jobs, and it is distressing. However, if you want a more positive spin, go to the Career tab and look under the subheading for First Year after Licensure. There is a post that is titled: New Grads: How long did it take you to find a Job. It starts out with the OP asking, because they haven't found a job (in the Bay Area I think). I expected post after post of similar tales. However, there is post after post from people who GOT jobs, many of them during school and many of them within a month or two after. Not was I was expecting. So, when you are feeling depressed because it sounds like no one will ever get hired, go read it. Many people do.

If I could hear well enough to be bothered by someone's food chewing in a classroom, I would be overjoyed.