tinerjayne
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I freaking love this!! It's dry-but is so true of drug seekers I see frequently. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_m64cy1MMPg
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When helping fresh post-op pt's out of bed the first few times they're very nervous, often saying "I'm going to fall, I can't do it or Don't let me go" I look at them and say-we won't let you fall xxx, it's a lot more work to pick you up off the floor. They always chuckle and forget about the nerves.
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you get clocked out, run to your car and realize you've never had to pee so bad in your life-you forgot to take a bathroom break during your 12 hour shift
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Dr. Semon(pronounced Semen)- two actually GI, Ob/Gyn Dr. Jones-lol I sing it to myself frequently "Dr Jones Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones" Dr Go Dr Flower Just because they are ridiculous to pronounce and spell: Dr. Jumrussirukul Dr. Prabhakar Dr. Verhofste Dr. Jagarlapudi Dr. Arvapalli Dr. Kassiotis Dr. Jayasankar Dr. Puricelli
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Written on our Cardiologists Progress Note today: Pt has end stage constipation. I kid you not!
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That no matter how much you advocate, how often you're in their room, how much you get them everything they could possibly need-you will encounter a completely ungrateful and rude patient/family member.
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Sadly your hope will never come true-you will encounter much projectile vomitting And poop.
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One 26 year old male patient-who was detoxing off meth, but had only used it one time 2 days ago- taught me that it's tacky to have 2 year old son, a wife who is 32 weeks pregnant, and two parents at your side in the hospital (very clean-cut family) who had no idea that you'd been using drugs and CoNtInUe to deny using as you're telling me you don't need anything else so I can leave now. Upon asking he tells me he's in his hotel in Mexico. This patient eventually rips off his tele, removes his iv and throws them, runs down 9 flights of stairs, and is approaching a very busy street when he is caught by security-next time i see him he is cuffed inside his room being guarded by 2 officers as I'm getting the third degree from our house supervisors. See this was a crafty meth head as he decided to run when I'd been off the floor for 5 minutes to grab some food and his family had left too (great judgement there) He also taught me that it is not a good idea to try to attack and scream at your pregnant wife and expect me not to enjoy shooting 5 mg of Haldol and 1mg Ativan into your a$$(remember he pulled out that ever convenient iv) He also taught me that court orders can be obtained in less than an hour. oh oh, and that he didn't like being put into four-point leathers and taken to ccu(where they shot more ativan and haldol into his a$$)-I know he didn't because he screamed it all the way there oh did i mention he was my direct admit from a dinky hospital with ''just chest pain'' at 530 pm, i hadn't had lunch(thus the quick run downstairs-lol for me and my pt) and I was to get off at 7-he ran at 615 oh all the things i can learn in just 2 hours