bebe1138

I was reading some of your posts and felt like sharing. I was in TNPAP and I left before my contract was done. I was a complete f-up. I always seemed to make decisions that leave me at the mercy of fate or destined to fail from the get- go. I quit after facing another positive drug test. Does it really matter that it was for alcohol and my drug of choice was dilaudid. (I purposefully did not capitalize) I had to face that the reason I was diverting dilaudid was deeper than just getting high. For me, it was a combination of my ADD and issues from being molested as a child. I'm still working through it, but finally as I approach my 50's I can finally name the beast so to speak. I do not have my RN license anymore. I am working on becoming a happy healthy human, then mother, then wife, then nurse. I still have a calling to care for others. For the time being, I am the one most in need, so there my focus lies. For me, my drug use/ abuse/ diversion was a symptom. I am still considering coming back to nursing but I have found a job that has few demands and pays the bills. It gives me time and space to work on me. I don't want to sound somber but I'm a little bipolar and even keel is a good thing in my world. I'm a healthier person now, than when I was using. My journey was long and very personal. I would never want to tell someone how their recovery should go. I just wanted to say something since I have the experience and things are going OK.

TN PAP is the program for nurses in recovery and they will not allow the use of any opiates while in the monitoring program. But, before you get to that point you need to be evaluated to see if you are abusing meds or what. Your situation sounds like it would end there. Or, if the investigator doesn't find any evidence of a safety issue that could end the situation. What ever the case I can assure you it will take longer than you expect. The system at work is in no hurry. If you are disciplined it can be a 1-3 year monitoring contract. It sounds like crap, but it's not the end of the world. There is a certain financial sacrifice involved, but weigh that against losing your license. You don't have to help the investigator by talking to them. My personal opinion is that eventually you will end up with a board order to go to TN PAP. If you get a lawyer that may change things, but then there is that financial sacrifice. You have a few options and lots of time. From report to board order could take months or years. I wish you luck. This type of limbo is no fun, but there is always a way to work through it.

I can't believe no one has commented yet. I was reading an old post with a related topic and there were over 20 pages of posts. I suppose you have already turned in your paperwork by now. My husband is applying for Spring 2016 too. I am concerned that he has not completed all the science courses yet, however when I was in the Spring 2005 class we had more than 1 student who did not have all their sciences. 2 of them even graduated. Have you heard anything about the class size? I read in a post that since they are in the new building they would accept larger classes. Of course I haven't read any such thing on the school website.