mgthompson

REAL 911 CALLS Caller: "I'd like to make a unanimous complaint so don't use my name." Caller: "I'm reporting a deer on the road. I almost hit it." Operator: "Is the deer alive?" Caller: "Oh, no, it's run over. Many, many cars. Again and again and - O...

35. Ahh... I see the ****up fairy has visited us again. 36. The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist. 37. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet its hard to pronounce. 38. Any connection between your reality and ...

Taken from employee evaluation reports: 1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity. 3. I would not allow this employee to breed. 4...

Are you seriously comparing circumcisions to mastectomies? Let's stay real, please! I don't advocate circumcisions without anesthesia, let me say that straight off. But having seen the minimal amount of distress that circumcised infants (with anes...

As an EMT, I know we are not allowed to administer anything other than O2. If the pt has an inhaler or SL nitro, we can assist them with self-administration, but other than that, no meds. As a paramedic, there are more meds that can be administered...

Ok.. orthostatic HTN. Take a Ziploc bag. Put about 1/2 its volume of water in it. Set it upright. No water in the top, right? This is standing up. Blood is in the legs. Now lay it flat. Water is all through it. Blood is all over the body. W...

Actually, there was a study done regarding the risk/benefit tradeoff of circumcision. It compared the incidence of complications of circumcision with the incidence of UTIs (most common GU problem) and penile cancer (least common GU problem) in both ...

Thank you, thank you!! So basically this is Fiorinal by another name (Fiorinal by any other name would smell as sweet.. oh no, I guess that's humanities, isn't it..)

ok... HELP!! I've got a pt. for tomorrow who is taking Esgic-plus prn headache. Ok, I guess it's an analgesic, but.. I can't find it ANYWHERE!! PDR doesn't have it, did an internet search.. nothing! Does anybody know anything about this stuff?

SARCASTIC REMARKS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY: 1. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...? 2. Do I look like a people person? 3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 4. I started out with nothing & still have most of...

Transcribed dictation is a constant source of hilarity for me.. on the OB floor: "Gross fecal movement noted" (the doc said "fetal").. or on vaginal exam: "small bloody shell" (that would be "show" - I haven't seen one hatch yet.. )

Hi, Kenshi! Of course it is not too late to change specialties! I am 31, and I am a nursing student. If I can start this late, you can certainly change directions if you want to. Good luck! What would you like to do, if you decide to change speci...

Well, I've been an EMT for 13 years, so obviously I have kind of a soft spot for ER work.. . I guess I'd like to do ER for awhile, then I'm going to get my FNP and open a combination practice/sick child day care (WAY too little of THAT out there!). ...

Yeah, bad starts will really bite you in the rear.. . I went to Purdue straight out of H.S. - bad move.. spent 3 1/2 yrs working on Bio/German double major. Now I'm paying for my attitude back then. I'm a junior now, and haven't gotten any worse ...

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn ...

Ehm... 219... lots & lots of nursing & reference, some kids, some humor, and miscellaneous stuff that struck me as cool...

Hi, everyone! I'm a junior in Nursing (obviously :) ) at Murray State. I'm getting ready to start a 7 week L&D/Postpartum clinical. I'm really excited, because I've had 2 kids, nursed for 3 yrs ea., and loved the experience. I've always wanted...

Yes, I had my son circumcised, and yes, they used anesthetic. He did not seem to be in any discomfort during urination or diaper change & cleansing (in fact, he kind of seemed to be enjoying all of it :) ). The reason I had it done was that I h...

The president of a large managed care company was also chairman of the board of his community's symphony orchestra. Finding he could not go to one of his concerts, he gave the tickets to the company's director of health care containment. The next mo...

Sorry to hear that! My school hasn't been able to fill al its slots in years - only 12 students starting this fall. Of course, I guess KY would be kinda far for you to commute..:)

The following quotes are reported to have been taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians... * By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. * Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side...

Oh my god, that reminds me of when I was a new EMT (back in the far mists of antiquity). I was doing a shift in the ER, and one of our pts was a diabetic with bilateral BKAs. I walked past his bed, and saw him holding an emesis basin filled with cl...

My childhood dentist was Dr. Fillmore, and at the hospital I was at as an EMT we had 2 ER docs named Dr. Holmes & Dr. Watson:)