Nurse12390

Thank you everyone for your comments and advice! I unfortunately took a sign on bonus so I’m contracted to stay inpatient for 2.5 years. If I break the contract I have to pay all the money back. My husbands is in school and not making money so we really can’t afford loosing that money. The previous hospital I worked at did a 6 week rotating schedule which I was told when I took this position that this floor did as well. Unfortunately you don’t have much control over your schedule as a rotator and you switch between days and nights in the same week. If I had a consistent rotating schedule I think I would be okay but schedules are made to fill the holes in staffing on the floor so at the end of the day most people don’t get the schedule they signed up for. I really love nicu and feel guilty for not feeling happy there right now . we have had 3 babies pass away in the last week. A baby that I was taking care of was declared brain dead and the parents want to keep him alive for religious reasons. They plan on putting in a gtube and trach next week. I felt horrible the whole shift putting this poor kid through painful procedures to keep him alive when he is already gone. I felt so helpless and felt like I wasn’t making a difference which was really frustrating. I try to separate my feelings as best as I can but some of these kids/families really get to my heart. I think between this and the schedule/the culture on the unit I need a break. I talked to HR and have an interview for a pacu day/evening position. I feel really guilty even thinking of leaving nicu because it was my dream job and the reason I went to nursing school. But I’m hoping if I have a more consistent schedule I will have time to work on my mental health and feel better. Thanks again for all the feedback! I really appreciate it!

I’ve been a nurse for a little over two years now. One year in medsurg and another in the NICU. I love the NICU but have been feeling overwhelmed and burnt out emotionally for some time now. I’ve had a couple of traumatic patient losses lately and have not felt like myself since. I’ve been having panic attacks before going into work and either feeling really anxious the whole time I am there or completely detached which is not normal for me. I love my patients and families and it hurts me to feel like I’m not really there or in it like I used to be. I’m also required to rotate every two weeks between days and nights. Sometimes I switch between days and nights in the same week a day apart from each other. I’m always tried on this schedule and have a hard time enjoying my days off because I feel like I’m just recovering. I would like to work just days but that’s is not an option and day shifts are only offered based on seniority. I guess I’m just looking on advice on how others have dealt with feeling burnt out? I miss feeling the way I used to about nursing and just want to work towards getting better. Thanks!

Hi everyone! I’ve been a nurse for a little over two years now. I spent over a year on a medsurg/renal transplant floor and a year in the NICU. I recently relocated and started a nicu position at a different hospital. The floor is great and everyone is really nice/supportive. Yesterday I was taking care of a baby with PIE who we extubated from the conventional vent to CPAP. The parents were at the bedside after we got the kid stabilized on the CPAP. I spent a lot of time with the parents explaining everything I was doing. They would get really nervous every time the alarm went off so I took a lot of time explaining the alarms to them and I made an effort to go over everytime the alarm went off and explain what was happening and reassure them that everything was okay. I was changing out the interface on the cpap from the mask to the prongs and the baby started to desat into the 70s. I bumped up his O2 and proned him and gave him a few minutes to see if he would recover. When he didn’t recover I switched him back to the mask and put him back on his belly. I explained to the parents what happened and I felt like I alleviated their worries about the situation. After report my preceptor told me I think you kinda traumatized those parents in a joking manner. I thought she was just trying to be funny because she saw first hand how much time I spent taking to the parents and making sure they were okay. She told me they had complained to the attending that I was being too rough with their baby and they didn’t like how I was changing the mask on the CPAP too much and repositioning him. The policy at this hospital is to change out the interface on the CPAP every 3 hours to prevent skin breakdown and I always like to at least turn my patient’s head every set of cares if they are on their belly. My preceptor told me that I did nothing wrong and it’s all about the parent’s perceptive of the situation and something there is just nothing you can do. I was very upset. I’ve never had a patient/parent complain about me before. I had spent the whole day running around and going above and beyond for this kid and his family. I really took the time to talk and explain things to them and I really thought I had provided a lot of support and decreased their anxiety. My preceptor told me that I will probably be talked to by management. I’m really nervous about this. Management has a reputation of firing new people on orientation and always taking the parent’s side no matter what. I’m nervous that my preceptor didn’t stand up for me when the attending told her about the complaint. She reassured me that I did nothing wrong but I’m worried other people won’t perceive it that way and that management will fire me or write me up. I really wish the attending had come to me directly so that I could have address this issue directly with the family in that moment. That way I could have heard them out and try to make them feel better about the situation. I really care about my patients and their families and always try to do my best for them. I guess I’m just here to vent and get some advice so that I can become a better nurse from this situation. Has anyone else ever had an experience like this? If so what did you do to learn from it? Thank you so much in advance ?

Thank you for all the great feedback and advice. I really appreciate it. I just want to do everything in my power to be the best nurse I can be for my patients and coworkers. I can usually brush off the occasional rude comment. My nurse educator told me before my first shift that the nurses on the floor can be tough and to come to her if I ever feel like I’m being bullied. I previously worked for a little over a year as a CNA in a nicu while in school so I thought I was somewhat prepared to face a difficult environment. The nurses on this floor make it very clear that new nurses are not welcome. I’ve had preceptors complain that they have to precept while I was sitting right next to her. One threw a tantrum when he found out I was following him for the day. I have felt very unwelcome from the beginning and it made learning very uncomfortable. Most of the nurses spend their free time gossiping about the other nurses or critiquing the new grads. I’ve heard them make comments saying they aren’t impressed by a new nurse or that they think that person is dumb. It’s very discouraging to hear your peers break down someone who is new and trying their best. I hate when other people tear other people down. Nursing is hard and we should be building eachother up not tearing eachother down. I feel for both sides. I can’t even imagine how hard it is to be a preceptor in this kind of environment. Most of the preceptor don’t get a say and are stuck teaching when they don’t want to or have been stuck training orientee after orientee without a break. They are burnt out and I feel for them. It’s also hard being new and knowing you are not welcome and that your preceptor doesn’t want anything to do with you. My preceptor does go out of her way to teach me things and she is very knowledgeable and a good teacher/nurse. I’ve slowly become very self conscious and feel constantly stressed when I’m with her or on the unit. I’ve had panic attacks before my shifts which is something that never happened to me on my other floor. I remember my first shift with her I was trying to place my first IV on an infant and I was taking my time to find the right spot since I didn’t want to hurt the baby by attempting multiple times. She turns to the baby and goes “she better hurry up and stop being so wishy washy.” After we left the room I apologized to her for taking so long and asked for feedback. But she makes little comments like multiple times through out every shift. She also critiques things I’m doing right and will ask other nurses the right way to do it. When she finds out I did it the right way she just dismisses me. She micromanages me to the point that it’s hard for me to complete any task independently. I definitely need her to intervene if I’m doing something wrong but sometimes it over small things that I know how to do. I definitely don’t know anything and I own that and always seek out advise and feedback so that I can improve. I never complete a task I don’t know how to do without someone else walking me though it or showing me first. And I’m very appreciative for the help. I just feel like I can’t do anything right in her eyes. I’ve had times where a baby was desating and I was giving stim and forgot to turn the alarm off and a nurse will come in and angrily turn the alarm off and tell me that my alarm is annoying everyone and walk out. when I was setting up to take a baby down for my first MRI I was asking for help and everyone just sat and watched me struggle. Eventually someone helped me after I basically begged and she told me that now I can’t tell the manager that nobody helped me. I’ve never gone to management or talked to anyone about how I am feeling on the unit so I’m not sure why she made that comment. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Im trying really hard. I’m always open to feedback, try to help other to the best of my ability and try to kill everyone with kindness but it doesn’t seem to be working. I’ve never has a job where I can’t make friends or feel hated by everyone. I’m working tomorrow and I’m dreading going in and facing everyone after the comment my preceptor made to me.

My preceptorship in nursing school was hem/onc and I loved it. Maybe I will look into that. Thank you so much for all your feedback and help! I really appreciate it!

Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it. If you don’t mind me asking what area of nursing did you end up going to after the NICU??

Thank you! I just want to address this. I am definitely not overly confident at all on the unit. I know I don’t know anything. I own that. I apologize that I don’t know things and that I need help because I can tell she’s annoyed when I do ask for help. Nicu is a different beast then the other floor I came from so I am a new grad all over again. I’m open to learning and feedback because I don’t know anything! I just feel discouraged when my preceptor talks to me and treats me like I’m incompetent of anything. I know I wasn’t ready to handle a kid that was really sick. my issue was that she wouldn’t let me help at all. I wasn’t expecting to be independent with the assignment at all. I’m not ready. But she wouldn’t let me hang an antibiotic or assist her with anything. And I only wanted to help because I could feel her stress and I wanted to help her and do whatever I could to lighten her load even though I can’t offer much right now. I was really hurt when she told me that I would have killed the kid if I had been in charge. I know I don’t know anything and I wasn’t expecting to be in charge but to hear her say that just really broke me. My patients are everything to me and to receive a comment like that completely devastated me. I just want to learn and be the best nurse I can be but I feel like I’m constantly being treated like I’m an incompetent person and that’s what really gets to me.

Thank you for response. I completely agree with everything you said. Unfortunately I have no other resources on the unit. The other nurses have made it very clear that the newer nurses are not welcome here. I do ask questions or for help if I don’t know how to do something. I make sure that I look something up or try to figure it out on my own first before going to someone else. I don’t mind having a preceptor who is direct or hard on me. I want to learn and I am very open to feedback. I make sure to ask her while I’m doing new skills or after our shift together how I can improve. She usually tells me that my reports could be more organized or that I just need more practice with a new skill so the response I got from her the other day really shocked me. I have gotten feedback from other nurses who have precepted me who told me I was doing a great job or that they could tell I was a good nurse on my other unit so not all my feedback has been negative. I even got a thank you card from a family for my care. My issue is that she micromanages me to a point where she isn’t letting me do any tasks independently. Nicu is so specialized so I definitely have skills to learn that I’ve never done before but there are skills that I’ve learned from my other floor that I am comfortable completing independently (e.g., hanging blood, bed changes, assessments, giving antibiotic/medications). I had to take a kid down for an MRI and I got everything set up to take them down and she was telling me not to use a drager and to take them down in an open crib. I had asked other nurses and they had told me that they always take kids down in a drager and I’ve seen other kids get transported down this way on the unit. She didn’t believe me and ended up verifying with someone else and when they told her that the drager was correct she said that’s what She thought and completely dismissed me. It’s just little thing like that where she questions my competency on things that I am doing right. There are alot of times I definitely need her to intervene or her feedback and I am very appreciative of that. I clearly don’t know a lot of things and I own that and am open to changing that. I was devastated when she told me that she would be the primary nurse for the patient that was unstable and I could observe. She completely dismissed me that night and kept making comments that came across like she was questioning my intelligence. At the end of the shift I decided to address why she didn’t want me to have the assignment and was completely taken back by what she said. I really want to learn and grow as a nurse but there was nothing constructive about her feedback. Her telling me that I would not have been able to resuscitate the kid broke my heart and made me feel like she thinks I’m too incompetent to do anything right and would cause a patient harm. Moving forward I’m not sure what to do. I love the patients/families in the nicu but my coworkers are not supportive and make it clear that they don’t want anyone new there. It’s hard to be in a stressful environment with no support. I don’t know if I should bring my concern to my nurse educator and ask if she could follow me for a day to make sure that my preceptors assessment of my progression during orientation is correct. I feel very hurt and embarrassed to go back to my floor. My preceptor tends to gossip a lot with her friends on the unit and I’m sure she has told them all about how she thinks I’m dumb. I here the other nurses talk about how they are not impressed with a certain new nurse or how they think she stupid all the time during my shift. It’s also awkward because my preceptor is younger than me. Not that it matters to me but I don’t know if that is something that is making her feel uncomfortable. I’m feeling very lost and find myself questioning if I’m even a good nurse or if I should just leave all together. Thanks for taking the time to read and for all your feedback. It means a lot to me.

I 100% agree that patient safety come first and I would never do anything to put their safety at risk or pretend that I know more than I do. I always make sure to ask question or for help if I don’t know how to do something. I always ask her for feedback at the end of the shift on what I can improve on for the next shift. I have taken her feedback very seriously and always look for ways to improve. It is a bit awkward because she’s younger than me (not that it matters) but knows so much and is a very good teacher/nurse. Everyone on this unit does things differently so I’ve learned different ways to do things. I always make sure to do it her way once she shows me her preferred method. She has admitted to me that she has a control problem and has apologized to me about it before. I’ve caught mistakes that providers have made before and she has completely dismissed my concerns but she ends up blaming me for and taking credit for catching them during rounds. A lot of times our only interactions is her criticizing me about something . She spends a lot of time with her friends on the unit gossiping about the other nurses or complaining about how they have to precept or how they think a new nurse is stupid. I’m usually able to make friends and have become friends with previous preceptors in the past but I haven’t been able to on this unit. I really want this to work out but now I feel really discouraged and like I am not cut out for it anymore.

Thank you for the feed back. I have now been training in the nicu now for a little over two months and it hasn’t gotten any better. I was really hopeful that it was going to be a better environment for me to work in. My preceptor is really nice but she can be very controlling. She never lets me go into rooms by myself and she will critique everything I do. Yesterday I was changing out an infant’s nasal cannula and redressing it and she was criticizing the way I cut my tegaderm because it was 1cm shorter than it needed to be. I always listen to her input and will redo things if she is unhappy with how I am preforming tasks. I am always open to feedback and constructive criticism but it’s gotten to the point where it feels like she critiques everything I do and that everything I’m doing is wrong. A lot of times she will take over things I’m doing or take medication out of my hand to do it. It’s very discouraging and I feel like I’m having a hard time accomplishing anything because she is always upsets about something I am doing. I’m new to the nicu but I was a nurse on a renal transplant floor for 2 years prior so I do have some skills that translate over. Last night we had a kid that was very sick and vented and she told me that she would be doing everything and that I could watch her. I was very discouraged and disappointed because I wanted to be apart of this kids care and it felt like she was indicating that she didn’t think I was competent enough to do so. The kid ended up coding and I tried to get involved in the code as much as I could by getting supplied/suctioning/decompressing the stomach. I was pretty upset after the code because it was my first one and it’s horrible to see your patient that way and she never debriefed with me. We were able to get the kid back and started a blood transfusion. I pointed out to her that it looks like the IV is infiltrated and she told me it looked fine. I was concerned so I was checking the site every 30 minutes. The IV ended up infiltrating pretty badly and when we went in together to asses she asked me if it looked like this 30 minutes ago which I responded no. She then asked me if I was sure which I was very insulted by and told her I would never keep something infusing through an infiltrated IV. My patients are everything to me and I work really hard to learn as much as I can to be the best nurse I can be for my patients. When I was in the nursery training I received very positive feedback and was told that they could tell I was a good nurse on my other unit and that I was doing really well. I even got thank you cards from families I had while over there. I was with a different preceptor the other week and she told me that I did an amazing job and gave a very detailed report. My other preceptor often talks over me while I’m giving report and makes me practice with her before giving report. I’m more than happy for any opportunity to learn but other preceptors have never had a problem with how I give report on this unit and when I’ve ask for feedback they always tell me that my reports are good. I decided to talk to my preceptor about why she wouldn’t let me help with the sicker kid because it was really bothering me. This week she has been especially critical of everything I have been doing and won’t let me do anything on my own so I wanted to clear the air. I was hoping to get feedback on how I can improve and if I am where I should be at this point in my orientation. She basically told me I’m lacking critical thinking skills and time management/prioritization. She told me that if she had let me have more control in the assignment last night that the kid wouldn’t have been recovered. Which really made me sad when she said that. I really want to improve and do better but it seems like my preceptor has no faith in me and thinks I’m a bad nurse who shouldn’t be there. Her response broke my heart and it made me feel like I’m a terrible nurse. It even made me consider transferring to a different floor. The nicu has always been my dream job and I’ve worked really hard to get a job on this unit. I’m devastated that this has been my experience on this floor so far. I know the turn over rate on the floor is very high due to bullying and the senior nurses make it very clear that newer nurses are not welcome there. I’m looking for advise of any kind. I’m just completely devastated and questioning if I should even be a nurse at this point. Thank you for reading and sorry this post is so long!

Thank you for the feed back. I have now been training in the nicu now for a little over two months and it hasn’t gotten any better. I was really hopeful that it was going to be a better environment for me to work in. My preceptor is really nice but she can be very controlling. She never lets me go into rooms by myself and she will critique everything I do. Yesterday I was changing out an infant’s nasal cannula and redressing it and she was criticizing the way I cut my tegaderm because it was 1cm shorter than it needed to be. I always listen to her input and will redo things if she is unhappy with how I am preforming tasks. I am always open to feedback and constructive criticism but it’s gotten to the point where it feels like she critiques everything I do and that everything I’m doing is wrong. A lot of times she will take over things I’m doing or take medication out of my hand to do it. It’s very discouraging and I feel like I’m having a hard time accomplishing anything because she is always upsets about something I am doing. I’m new to the nicu but I was a nurse on a renal transplant floor for 2 years prior so I do have some skills that translate over. Last night we had a kid that was very sick and vented and she told me that she would be doing everything and that I could watch her. I was very discouraged and disappointed because I wanted to be apart of this kids care and it felt like she was indicating that she didn’t think I was competent enough to do so. The kid ended up coding and I tried to get involved in the code as much as I could by getting supplied/suctioning/decompressing the stomach. I was pretty upset after the code because it was my first one and it’s horrible to see your patient that way and she never debriefed with me. We were able to get the kid back and started a blood transfusion. I pointed out to her that it looks like the IV is infiltrated and she told me it looked fine. I was concerned so I was checking the site every 30 minutes. The IV ended up infiltrating pretty badly and when we went in together to asses she asked me if it looked like this 30 minutes ago which I responded no. She then asked me if I was sure which I was very insulted by and told her I would never keep something infusing through an infiltrated IV. My patients are everything to me and I work really hard to learn as much as I can to be the best nurse I can be for my patients. When I was in the nursery training I received very positive feedback and was told that they could tell I was a good nurse on my other unit and that I was doing really well. I even got thank you cards from families I had while over there. I was with a different preceptor the other week and she told me that I did an amazing job and gave a very detailed report. My other preceptor often talks over me while I’m giving report and makes me practice with her before giving report. I’m more than happy for any opportunity to learn but other preceptors have never had a problem with how I give report on this unit and when I’ve ask for feedback they always tell me that my reports are good. I decided to talk to my preceptor about why she wouldn’t let me help with the sicker kid because it was really bothering me. This week she has been especially critical of everything I have been doing and won’t let me do anything on my own so I wanted to clear the air. I was hoping to get feedback on how I can improve and if I am where I should be at this point in my orientation. She basically told me I’m lacking critical thinking skills and time management/prioritization. She told me that if she had let me have more control in the assignment last night that the kid wouldn’t have been recovered. Which really made me sad when she said that. I really want to improve and do better but it seems like my preceptor has no faith in me and thinks I’m a bad nurse who shouldn’t be there. Her response broke my heart and it made me feel like I’m a terrible nurse. It even made me consider transferring to a different floor. The nicu has always been my dream job and I’ve worked really hard to get a job on this unit. I’m devastated that this has been my experience on this floor so far. I know the turn over rate on the floor is very high due to bullying and the senior nurses make it very clear that newer nurses are not welcome there. I’m looking for advise of any kind. I’m just completely devastated and questioning if I should even be a nurse at this point. Thank you for reading and sorry this post is so long!

Thank you! I love this feedback! That’s usually my go to is to kill people with kindness. I always greet everyone and thank the nursing handing patients off to me in report for their hard work. I’ve had nurses chew me out in report and I thank them for their feedback and expertise. In previous jobs this method has worked but not so much on this floor. I’m just going to try to find a balance between being assertive but also kind and hopefully that will change their tune towards me. I agree with sticking it out and finding other ways to stay busy! I definitely think I need to take a step back from how others are making me feels so that I can judge the jobs for what it is and make a decision based off that. Thank you for your great advice ?

A lot of the same staff work on both of the floors. The one time I floated over to NICU the person who was assigned to orient me for the day threw a huge tantrum about having to teach me. He did later apologize to me which a lot of staff who had the same attitude while teaching me didn’t. I will definitely take this as an opportunity to be more assertive. I know management is aware of the bullying/negative attitudes on the floor and don’t know how to fix it. I think my next check in with management though I will share some of my experiences so hopefully other new nurses on the floor don’t have to go through what I am. Right now I’m worried that my negative experiences are impacting how I see this job. Im going to try to stick it out and take a step back to make sure it’s a good fit for me. I really love acute care and constantly being busy at work which I haven’t been getting a lot of on this unit. Any recommendations? Thank you so much!

Thank you for the great advise! I think this is a good opportunity for me to practice being more assertive with my coworkers. I want to try to stick it out. Right now I’m not sure if the negative atmosphere is skewing my perception of the job or if it actually isn’t a good fit for me. I appreciate the great advise and for you taking the time to respond! Thank you?

Hi there? I am new to posting so I’m sorry for the long read! I just recently landed my dream job in NICU/CCN. Previously I worked on a Medsurg/Renal transplant floor for a little over a year (I only have a little over a year of nursing experience). Working with babies and their families has always been a dream of mine. I have been on the floor for a little over 8 weeks now. I love the patient population but I am having a hard time adjusting to the culture on the floor and I am looking for some advise. I am currently working in the continuous care unit and will go to NICU In august. Since I’m used to working with adult I don’t mind starting off on the less acute side of the nicu with the growers/feeders to build a stronger foundation for when I do go to NICU. I was supposed to have two months of orientation but was cut after around 4 weeks due to staffing issues on the unit. During my orientation I never had the same preceptor. Most of the time the person didn’t know that they were assigned to precept me for the day. Almost everyone I worked with complained the whole time about having me with them for the day which didn’t make me feel great. There has been a lot of turn over on the floor the past couple of years because of bullying so I get that people are burnt out from teaching and I always feel bad when I am sprung on someone. I once was sitting right next to the nurse who was precepting me for the day and she was complaining to another nurse about how much she hates orienting new people. It has been hard for me to gain new skills with people who really don’t want to help you. There are still a lot of things I don’t know how to do. I always ask for help or ask questions if I can’t figure it out for myself but it is like pulling teeth to get other people to help me. My biggest problem has been the culture on the unit. All the staff spend most of their time gossiping about each other or complaining. People genuinely don’t want to help each other out and spend most of their time bullying others, especially the newer nurses. I had one nurse tell me not to expect to make any friends on the floor on my second day there. That statement itself doesn’t bother me since I’m there to help my patients and families and not make friends but I just don’t understand why anyone would go out of their way to say something like that. I come from a very busy medsurg unit where I am used to not having any free time. There is a lot of down time on this unit. I try to stay as busy as I can so I don’t have to listen to the other nurses complain but since cares are clustered it sometimes is hard to find things to do. I have noticed that being in this environment has started to effect my mood. I am usually a very happy/positive/bubbly person and I find myself feeling grumpy and dreading going into work. On my old floor I got along with everyone. There were obviously people on that floor too who weren’t as nice but I’ve learned to keep my head down and stay busy. My main focus has always been on my patients. However I’ve never had such a hard time making friends or connecting with other people at work before. Everyone is so miserable and hostile all the time there. I worry that it is impacting how I look at this job as well. I’ve always wanted to work in an acute care setting. I love being constantly busy and challenged at work. I find myself feeling bored while I’m there which feels horrible to say. I absolutely adore the babies and their families but since I work in CCN all my cares are focused on feedings and diaper changes. Babies there are on their way home so they are generally very stable and have no acute issues or changes in status. I feel terrible feeling this way. At least this is how I feel working in CCN since I haven’t worked over on the NICU side yet so I can’t speech to how busy/acute it is over there. I have heard from other nurses that NICU is relatively the same as CCN just with more lines/vents. I’m worried I made a mistake in accepting this job but I also can’t tell if my perspective of this job is being skewed because of the negative atmosphere or if it’s because it actually isn’t a good fit for me. Any advice is appreciate it! Thank you so much and sorry again for the long read!

Thank you so much for all the great feedback! I really appreciate it. Unfortunately things on my unit have not gotten much better and a lot of nurses are leaving. I’ve been applying to other position in the hospital and not having much luck since I am a newer nurse. I will have a year of nursing experience in medsug in December and would really love to go to a more acute area (ICU, PICU, SCU , NICU etc.,). Does anyone have any advise on how to strengthen my application for a job in these areas? I’m currently taking a class to get my ACLS certification. Thank you!?

Thank you for your feedback. I’ve been applying for jobs but because I only have 8 months of nursing experience not a lot of places are willing to take me. I just feel incredibly sad and all of this has really gotten to me. Im a very happy person and really loved nursing in the beginning. I’m now starting to question if I even am a good nurse or if I am unprofessional. I’m trying to make sense of why this continues to happen. I always try to help others and my patients in anyway I can. I’ve never been in a situation like this and its really eating away at me. I really don’t know how I’m going to work the next 6 nights if this is how it’s going to continue to go.

Thank you for all the great feedback! I’m still having a really hard time on the floor. A night ago I had a patient who was in a MVA and was extremely confused and trying to get out of bed constantly. He was in a room furthest away from the nursing station. I asked charge if I could get a sitter or move him to a room closer to the nurses station because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to get to his room quick enough to prevent a fall if he set off his bed alarm. I was told that there were no available sitters or rooms. Later that night he ended up failing and I felt terrible about it. I asked charge for feedback on how I could’ve prevented this and she didn’t really respond. She told me that she will make sure he is moved closer to the nurses station or will have a sitter from now on. I come in last night and he is still in the same room without a sitter. Within an hour into my shift he was trying to get out of bed again. I again asked charge if he could be moved to a closer room or if I could have a sitter because he already fell last night and I’m very worried about his safety. Again I was told that there was no available rooms or staffing but I could sit in the room with him. I had four other patients I was assigned to as well as being this patients sitter. I was extremely frustrated and feel really bad about being this mad about it. I am consistently having these kind of assignments when the other nurses on my floor are not. When I relayed my frustration I was told that every nurse needs to pitch in from time to time (which I am more than happy to do) but none of the other nurses have had to be their own sitter on the floor with a full patient assignment. I’ve started to notice that recourses/extra help is delighted towards the nurses that charge is friends with. I still consistently have assignments heavy with behavioral patients (IVDU, SUD or CIWA). I’ve tried to set boundaries when patients who are verbally abusive towards me. I had one patient who was screaming at me and I told him that I was sorry he was so upset but I’m just trying to help him and that I would give him some time to cool off and that I would come back and be more than willing to help him. He rang out for me 10 times in 3 minutes seeking pain meds. I told charge the situation and she basically told me to go back in there. It was the first time I had set a clear boundary with a verbally abusive patient and to not have support from charge was very disappointing. I also am assigned to work 10 12s this week. It was a mistake and a lot of the shifts I had requested were not finalized until this week. I never intended to work this many shifts I just requested days I could work and usually management will figure out the needs of the unit and put me on for a couple of extra shifts. Charge brought it up with me and said that they have never allowed someone to work this many shifts in a row because it is so unsafe and that management should’ve recognized it was a mistake. Charge encouraged me to reach out and cut back my upcoming hours. When I emailed my manager and apologized for the oversight on my end and asked if there is anyway I could reduce my hours because I felt it was unsafe for me she told me that I was leaving the floor short staffed and that in the future I should have more oversight and fully commitment to the shift I agreed to. I understand completely where she is coming from and do agree that part of this is on me but I never call out or complain and the only reason I did was because I felt it was unsafe for me to work that many hours. She gave me two days off so I am now working 8 12s. Lastly I took care of my first incarcerated patient this week. In report that I got from charge I was told the reason why she was incarcerated. I was also told multiple times by the warden that was in the room with her. When giving report to the next nurse I relayed this information because I thought I was suppose to. Leaving my shift today I was pulled aside by a CNA (who is aways present during nursing reports) to tell me that the report I had given was extremely inappropriate and unprofessional and I had made her feel very uncomfortable by disclosing this information during report. She told me that she took it upon herself to pull me aside to have this talk with me and if she didn’t the other nurse would have. I told her that I was really sorry and that it was never my intention to make anyone feel this way but that I was just relaying the same report that charge had given me. She told me that this was a good teachable moment for me to grow professionally and learn from my mistakes. Looking back on it I do see where she is coming from and I feel bad disclosing the reason why this individual was incarcerated but I honestly thought that I was supposed to because charge had given me the same report. I have been so sad leaving my shifts and have even cried in the bathroom at work which is very unlike me. I’m usually a happy person who doesn’t let these kind of things get to me but I feel completely drained and exhausted from these experiences. I find myself questioning if I’m a terrible nurse or if I am unprofessional and shouldn’t be in the nursing field. I’m feeling completely lost and appreciate any feedback.

Thanks everyone for all the great advise! I definitely think one of my biggest weakness is not being assertive enough. As a new grad I don’t want to “rock the boat” or say no to helping others. I have gotten better at putting my foot down but there are a lot of unmotivated/overworked CNAs on my floor who really push back or give me attitude for delegating tasks to them (which I rarely do). A lot of the times I just end up doing things myself because it easier than having to track someone down and hold them accountable for doing something or dealing with their push back. There are a couple of wonderful CNAs on my floor that I love working with but unfortunately I don’t get to work with them enough. I do feel like my assignments tend to be more acute or with very behaviorally challenging patients than my peers. Other people have brought it up to me as well. I’m not really sure why my assignments have been heavier with little to no help in the past couple of months. Others have said it’s because I never complain but sometimes it just feel like charge doesn’t like me. The homeless IVDU patient that I had for two nights ended up going to IMC. I did try both of those nights to advocate for how unsafe this situation was to charge and the providers but I received a lot of push back/dismissal. Charge told me that if I get a sitter then we would have to float a nurse and all the nurse assignments would go up to 6 patients including mine. I called charge all night and the providers with my concerns about the patient but it was like pulling teeth to get them to come and assess him. It took charge 40 minutes to come into the room during one of his unresponsive events and the provider told me that he was too busy to come (ended up coming later in the night and not doing anything). I did tell him that someone else needs to come then because this is a drastic change in this patient’s clinical picture and that Im worried that he is heading towards a rapid responsive event. I think because this man was homeless with a drug/mental health problem he was written off a lot and not given the care he really needed which broke my heart as his nurse. Another thing that I’ve noticed is people just start to assume that this is a patients baseline when it actually isn’t which was also happening to him a lot. Looking back I definitely should have escalated my concerns up the chain of command. The primary person that was covering that patient that night was a new resident so I should have voiced my concerns to someone else higher up on the chain. I also should have done the same thing with the charge nurse. It’s hard for me as a new grad because when I get this kind of push back I just assume that maybe I’m overreacting. But In this case I knew how unsafe it was and I was very frustrated that I was getting so much push back when clearly something was very wrong. I did email my nurse manager and asked her moving forward if I could just stick to my agreed upon 3 12 hour night shifts. I haven’t gotten a response back yet but moving forward I’m definitely going to put my foot down with being preassigned to other units/extra shifts without being asked or told. I started applying to other positions and reached out to HR to inquire more about the steps I need to take to transfer to another unit since I am past the 6 month mark. This is all been very hard on me. It reassuring to hear that other don’t feel that I’m burnt out because I was really worried that I was. I am a very happy person who loves to help others so being on a floor that doesn’t foster team work has been frustrating to me. It will be difficult for me to set boundaries and only help other if I have the time but I know I need to make that change moving forward. I still worry that how exhausted I’m feeling right now so soon into my nursing career is a sign that it isn’t for me or that I’m not cut out for it. I really do love working in the medical field and helping other but the last two months make me question If I am even a good nurse. Thanks again for taking the time to read my long post and providing such great feed back. I really appreciate it!

Hi! This is my first post so bare with me I’m a new grad nurse who has been working on a busy/understaffed Medsurg/Nephrology/ Transplant floor for a little over 5 months. I worked as a CNA in a level 2 NICU for a year before this job and loved it I really want to work in the NICU or ICU but I was told you need at least 2 years of medsurg experience before you qualify for that kind of position. I am more than willing to put in the time and do whatever it takes to be considered for a position on either of those units. I knew going into medsurg that I wasn’t going to love it but it is a great place to start to build upon my nursing skills. I love nursing and I have learned a lot on the current floor that I am on. Over the past couple of months however I’ve started to feel really burnt out. My coworkers would describe me as positive, caring and someone who is always willing to help help her coworkers and patients. Lately though I find myself just feeling exhausted and experiencing emotional burnout towards my patients and others. I’m always willing to help others when they are drowning but I find that I never get that in return. Management has started to float me to other units with little to no support even though as a new grad I’m not supposed to be floated unless I’ve been an RN for a year. Recently I’ve been floated to a unit where I was assigned to a patient who was homeless schizophrenic/aggressive/ IVDU with a large spinal abscess. He constantly tried to climb out of bed and I was told her couldn’t have a sitter because we were understaffed so I was to be his sitter. I was also assigned to 4 other acutely Ill patients who needed constant attention as well. I couldn’t leave the other patients room because it was a safety risk and there was no CNA so I also took on all those responsibilities. He became unresponsive at one point in the night because he had been stashing methadone in his room and had been taking it in addition to all the other narcotics and benzos I had been giving him for his withdawl symptoms and pain management. He continued to have these unresponsive events through out the nights that I took care of him and I had little to no support from other nurses on the floor or the doctors (who wanted to wait for the day shift team before intervening or changing orders). It was a very unsafe situation for all the patients I was taking care of. I felt like I wasn’t able to care for my other patients the way I normally do. I had little to no time to look through my other patient’s charts and complete my med passes. I ended up staying two hours late every day to chart. I usually have all my charting done on time so this has been especially frustrating. I usually give good reports and I understand my patients really well but since I haven’t had the time to write stuff down I end up giving the bare minimum to the nurses taking over. I’ve had nurses yell at me and chew me out during report. I even had one who walked away midway through report and complain to another nurse while I was sitting next to her that I didn’t know when the patients LBM was while rolling her eyes at me. Unfortunately for the last two months this has been how most of my assignments go and I’m starting to feel really burnt out. We have a lot of homeless/ IVDU on my floor currently so I spend most of my shift being screamed at by them. I genuinely try to connect with them and help but I always end up being verbally abused by them or having them tell other staff members that I am neglecting them because their pain mediation is 5 minutes late. my nurse manager has also been making mistakes in my schedule. For example I picked up a shift to try and help out and I was scheduled to work from 7p-11:30p. I work night shift so working another shift after this one isn’t a big deal. My nurse manager scheduled me to work 7a-7p the next day. When I emailed her about it she basically told me to suck it up. I didn’t get out of work till 1am and I am expected to work at 7am the same day. These schedule mistakes are very common and sometimes I end up working 4-5 12 hour shifts in a row with the same acute patient assignment. I hate complaining and I usually never complain. I’ve really tried to make the most of my current situation. I hate feeling this burnt out when I am only 5 months into my nursing career. it makes me feel like a terrible nurse. I also feel like I’m not really making a difference in the lives of my patients. I feel more like a vending machine pumping out medications which is not the nurse I want to be. I feel bad delegating task to my CNAs who are swamped and overworked so I usually don’t. I also feel bad not being able to do everything that my patients ask for and feel like I’m letting them down. I really want to help my patient and I’m looking for suggestions on how to feel less burnt out so that I can be the best nurse I can be. Thanks for reading and sorry for the long rant! ?