Wvurn15

I dropped down to PRN right before the start of my program (and am very glad/fortunate I was able to do so). While I have just started my program, I already feel overwhelmed at having to work 20 hours in the second week of school (1st year all didactic, second year clinical + didactic). I am hoping as I become more adjusted to the program requirements and figure out how to skim 190 pages for a 10 question patho quiz (haha) on top of multiple APA writing discussions in a week, that I will free up more time. But there is no way I could handle a full or barely a part time job right now. And My only time commitment is making time for my significant other, no children. I guess it depends on program structure (some programs seem to provide much more supplemental study materials and less writing requirements) and how much you can juggle on your plate at one time

I can relate to this so much. I'm 2.5 Years in and 24...Ive Tried to give it time but I still hate it just as much as when I started. I work in an icu but also am often floated to various stepdown units. In my opinion, all bedside is the same. It SUCKS and I can't wait to leave bedside!!! I wish I would have been less naive during nursing school, or that my eyes would have been opened to what nurses REALLY deal with. Not just the few cookie cutter clinical experiences. I hate being nervous as well before every shift and being the scapegoat for every single thing. I hate not knowing if I'll even get to sit down for a solid ten minutes to inhale my lunch. It too has changed my personality, I relate to your statement about feeling like a pitbull. It can truly suck you dry and some of us arent always capable of leaving work at work, as much as we may try. I don't think there's anything wrong with us wanting to get away from bedside so early on. I'm not willing to miss anymore time with my family and friends on special occasions or holidays to go to a job I hate. Work is not my life. That being said, i still genuinely care for my patients that truly want/need my help. I hope I am better able to serve as a nurse away from the bedside and can find WAY more personal satisfaction from my job than my current misery. I hope that this case manager position can grant you this as well!!! Yes you may still deal with difficult patients/families, but not for 12 hours at a time!! While having to wipe them, answer 50 phone calls, get them the right # of creamers in their coffee, deal with their screaming family member, and remember to titrate their heparin drip all at the same time!!!!! Best of luck to you

I am 2.5 years in and still feel the complete dread and nerves before every shift. I work in an ICU at a teaching hospital so you can imagine I also get some pretty sick patients. I still sometimes cry before work dreading it, I lay in bed and Google threads like these to make me feel better. Nurses truly are the punching bags for EVERY LITTLE THING. I love learning about the body and what I learn at work, but I absolutely hate a large amount of the hands on, the nerves of being expected to know what to do in certain critical situations that I've never dealt with, and most of all dealing with difficult people. I'm also extremely uncomfortable being only 2.5 years in and being surrounded by all new grads on night shift and being one of the most senior. It's terrifying when I am still trying to learn myself. I sometimes still feel stupid even though I graduated my BSN with a 4.0...I am about to be PRN as I am starting FNP school, which I am hoping will be much better suited for me not being at the bedside, where too often I'm being a waitress, wiping poop that has soaked the whole bed, missing Christmas with my family, or thumping on chests of 80 year old full codes with ESRD, CHF, COPD, etc etc.....I have my fingers crossed that this will make me happier. I don't even know if I can last doing just PRN for these two years but I feel stuck.....you are not alone though and I hope you find a path better suited for you also!!

I'm 2 years and some change into my first nursing job as a MICU nurse...I've tried to give it time to feel more confident in myself, but I just don't think I'm made for icu level stress. I work at a large teaching university hospital and we receive all the transfers from other hospitals in the state and surrounding area for higher levels of care. Our staffing levels are good (for the most part), we are magnet, and I never care for more than 2 ICU patients..but I still feel overwhelmed many days. At a little over 2 years in, is it still normal that I get shaky drawing up epi in a code? Or that I don't have all the receptors memorized for what each pressor acts on? That I still don't fully comprehend all the different ventilator changes (I know the mode basics but feel dumb when RT tries to discuss peak pressures or p high on bivent, etc)..I am still even nervous transporting patients to scans with just respiratory and patient transport as the only RN when a patient is vented and on drips. i just feel like some nurses that have only worked a short time longer than myself are so much more educated and never appear to feel the nerves that I do. I never walk in and hope for a shift that I'm titrating pressors with cvvhd running and the vent on 100% bivent or performing ToF and tirating paralytics and I DEFINITELY am not an adrenaline junky for codes. But then I also hate shifts with walkie talkies that I am cleaning poop or getting someone up every 10 minutes to the bathroom. I enjoy the thinking aspect of my job but I find in critical care you don't often have time to think and my nerves cloud my thoughts. I dread going to work. 9x/10 I don't enjoy the hands on tasks either, like putting in IV's, NGs, catheters....I am thinking of doing NP in a clinic where the patients are much more stable and I have time to think (which is the part I enjoy, schedule sounds great also). Is there anyone else who feels like this Or has suggestions?