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Discussion

and the problem is..........?

This thread is along the lines of patient lingo, but I have to share complaints I have heard this week.

Girl comes in and states "I stopped taking my birth control pills 3 days ago and now i'm bleeding".......

Elderly man chief complaint "I had leg cramps last night and now my bowels are locked up"......huh?

Woman with c/o fever. When asked if she had taken anything for the fever.......she replies "I haven't taken any pills, but i've done all the other things you're supposed to do to bring your fever down. I've drank a coke and some unsweetened tea, I smoked a menthol cigarette, and I cried......but just regular tears. I couldn't make any acid tears"...........(did i miss that day in nursing school?)

:chuckle :roll :confused:

Featured Replies

This one still gets me laughing.

I get a facesheet on a female custody patient coming in, c/o "No BM for 3 months." She arrives, I walk into the room to find an average, healthy appearing woman. I say, " So, I'm having a hard time believing that you haven't went to the bathroom in 3 months...what's going on?" Pt. replies,

"Well, I've had these little terds, but I haven't taken, you know, a really good s**t in months, like since I got to jail.":chuckle:chuckle:chuckle

I was biting the inside of my cheek to keep from doubling over laughing. And I still can't believe the jail RN thought this warranted a 3am trip to the ER.

:confused:

  • Guides

"are you on any medicines?

No, none at all.

Have you taken anything for the pain?

Oh, well I took a Motrin.

That counts as a medicine. Anything else?

No.

Are you on birth control?

Just that shot.

That counts as a medicine.

It does?"

worked in an er, registration clerk, finally got to the point i would ask "is there anything you regularly put in your mouth and swallow that didnt come off a plate" this was after asking about meds......so many persons wouldnt mention vitamins, herbs etc......

worked in an er, registration clerk, finally got to the point i would ask "is there anything you regularly put in your mouth and swallow that didnt come off a plate" this was after asking about meds......so many persons wouldnt mention vitamins, herbs etc......

love it--when we do home health admissions, we instruct the patients to gather unto the kitchen table "all the pills, lotions, sprays, patches you have that you ever use, whether you got them from the drugstore, grocery store, health food store, or your doctor."

helps a little bit....(well..usually! amazing how many lol's are on lasix and furosemide...and get dizzy at a lot!!!):p

Sometimes you wonder where some people were when God handed out the brains?:D :D

They thought he said "trains".

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