Patient fall

I'm an RN at a recently built hospital. It's been tough and hectic trying to get acquainted with the new system that even though there is low nurse:pt ratio. We have barely opened and there is already a fall incident and it was my patient. That patient is a fall risk and I have been particularly watchful of her since she is very impulsive. I only had 3 patients that day and my CNA had 2. As I was doing my rounds, I found her on the floor, I was terrified. Terrified to see her there and even more so when I realized the alarm didn't go off only to notice that it was not even activated when I checked. I was shaking as I helped and reassessed the patient. She thankfully did not sustain any injuries and the family was very understanding.

But it's eating me up. I find this unacceptable and upsetting because this was completely preventable. I've prided myself to be a conscientious nurse, but I'm obviously doubting that now. The fact that we had just opened, that I was the first nurse to have a fall at our facility, and that I had the fewest patient load in my career just doubles up my guilt. I genuinely don't know why the alarm wasn't activated. The bed alarm is working well upon check and I don't want to put fingers. I have no excuse and I take full responsibility for this. My bosses have been incredibly understanding and nurturing, which I'm thankful for. Even then, I couldn't get over it, not yet.

As I've told myself over and over again, this is a learning experience to help me be better and that the most important thing is that the patient was not hurt. For now though, I couldn't help but still feel dejected and cry whenever I think about it. I'm looking forward for the day I'd stop beating myself up over this.