is nursing right for me?

[uncertain]

I am a student in a four year BSN program at a top ten program in the U.S. I am currently about to finish my second semester but I have a lot of reservations if nursing is the right major/field for me.

I applied to nursing school fresh out of high school on a whim because my parents wanted me to, and also they had stressed the medical field to me since the day I was born. I initially wanted to study business, communications, or go into teaching, but my parents who are in each field respectively, discouraged this as I was "too nice for business" or "teaching isn't enough income".

Fast forward and I have contemplated dropping out of nursing school for the past four semesters. I have clinical experience with my program, but I find that I absolutely dread clinical shifts, want to go home every second of the day, and find myself reluctant to do bed-side care. Furthermore, I find myself uninterested in my actual nursing lectures and classes, I don't have the drive to learn but only to memorize quickly to pass, and move on. I have passed my classes with Bs or higher, but this semester, no matter how much I study the material nothing sticks and I am in jeopardy of academic probation.

At this point, I am only driven to stay in nursing as it has cost me close to $30K and two years and I am halfway done. I doubt I can pass the NCLEX which my school requires, and my only shred of hope is that I like my pediatrics rotation, which is my absolute last semester, but if I do not then its 4 years and $60K wasted.

I have only really stayed at the insistence of my family as I am being lazy and dramatic about my uncertainty and drive and a part of me wonders if this is true and I have not dropped out yet as I do not want to be a failure, disappointment, or embarrassment to my parents. I am also 100% dependent on my parents and I am afraid of the repercussions of even approaching the subject again.

Can any nurses or even students give their absolute honest opinion or advice on this?

[FutureNurseInfo]

I will be short, if you do not feel like nursing is for you, trust your gut! You are still young so you have time to "turn back time" so to speak and start doing something else. If you like peds, you may like working with kids as a teacher, who knows. Good luck in anything you choose to do from now on.

[Green Tea, RN]

A little bit of about myself first. I found I didn't like nursing once I got into a four year BSN nursing program. I didn't quit nursing school just because I worked very hard to get into the program.

Now I have two+ years of experience as a nurse. I still don't like nursing in general. It really makes me feel depressed to think doing a bedside nursing job for next thirty years. I recently became part time for my job and started taking classes to get non-nursing master's degree. Once I get the master's degree, I will be completely out of nursing.

What I can say is that studying in nursing school is hard, yet working as a nurse is not easy either.

If I go back to the past, I would change my major to engineering or something.