I am sure this is the same story many new grads have, but I need to vent! I am looking for honesty.
I have been on my own for about one month now- working on a medsurg unit. Patient admit for back pain, hx of kidney stones. Also on PCA of dilaudid. I got report from another new nurse who said she had been in pain all day, and was using the PCA very frequently. She also told me the doctor saw the pt and stated he seemed pretty "drugged" but not change anything or give any orders. Throughout the night I focused on managing pain, giving ordered antibiotics and making sure her output was adequate- she was on 200mL/hr fluids. Output was on the low end, but still adequate. During the night she had a low O2 sat, so I put her on 2L NC and that issue seemed resolved, later I took off the NC and she did not have another episode of desat). She also had some other issues:
- Low BP but not shockingly low (it was low when I came on, she was younger, surfer, very healthy + PCA pain meds, so I thought this was expected)
- Higher end of normal HR (still WNL, and in pain, so I thought this was alright as well)
- In early morning c/o "choking feeling"(I encouraged cough and take some deep breaths, which she did, she coughed up a lot of phlegm, then stated she felt completely better... I offered to suction, and she refused, I assessed lung sounds, which were clear, and I assessed for fluid retention, which I saw none)
- c/o headache, I explained a lot of our patients get headaches with dilaudid, offered tylenol, she declined.
- Around 0400, she had a temp around 100, I used light bedding, offered ice chips and a cool washcloth (my unit usually treats temp higher than 100.3)
When I gave report the oncoming nurse told me pt was becoming septic and it was my fault. By that time, labs had come in and WBC were high. During report, the new nurses aide reported a patient temp of over 101. I cannot stop thinking about if this is my fault- yes now, all signs put to sepsis, but throughout my shift, I really did not think of them as that- what I saw was each separate fairly common complications that happen FREQUENTLY on my unit especially with pain management (low BP, WNL but high HR, headache, periods of desat at night, etc).
I am a new nurse, and I feel like a lot of times, the puzzle pieces just do not all fit together for me. Many older nurses tell me that one day, I will see "the whole puzzle". Looking back, I feel SO stupid and like a failure. I literally cannot stop thinking about this, and I usually am fairly good at not bringing work home. Can an experienced or new nurse offer some advice here- I just want to know if I was a horrible nurse or if this is a new nurse mistake that can be fixed?!?!
I am sure this is the same story many new grads have, but I need to vent! I am looking for honesty.
I have been on my own for about one month now- working on a medsurg unit. Patient admit for back pain, hx of kidney stones. Also on PCA of dilaudid. I got report from another new nurse who said she had been in pain all day, and was using the PCA very frequently. She also told me the doctor saw the pt and stated he seemed pretty "drugged" but not change anything or give any orders. Throughout the night I focused on managing pain, giving ordered antibiotics and making sure her output was adequate- she was on 200mL/hr fluids. Output was on the low end, but still adequate. During the night she had a low O2 sat, so I put her on 2L NC and that issue seemed resolved, later I took off the NC and she did not have another episode of desat). She also had some other issues:
- Low BP but not shockingly low (it was low when I came on, she was younger, surfer, very healthy + PCA pain meds, so I thought this was expected)
- Higher end of normal HR (still WNL, and in pain, so I thought this was alright as well)
- In early morning c/o "choking feeling"(I encouraged cough and take some deep breaths, which she did, she coughed up a lot of phlegm, then stated she felt completely better... I offered to suction, and she refused, I assessed lung sounds, which were clear, and I assessed for fluid retention, which I saw none)
- c/o headache, I explained a lot of our patients get headaches with dilaudid, offered tylenol, she declined.
- Around 0400, she had a temp around 100, I used light bedding, offered ice chips and a cool washcloth (my unit usually treats temp higher than 100.3)
When I gave report the oncoming nurse told me pt was becoming septic and it was my fault. By that time, labs had come in and WBC were high. During report, the new nurses aide reported a patient temp of over 101. I cannot stop thinking about if this is my fault- yes now, all signs put to sepsis, but throughout my shift, I really did not think of them as that- what I saw was each separate fairly common complications that happen FREQUENTLY on my unit especially with pain management (low BP, WNL but high HR, headache, periods of desat at night, etc).
I am a new nurse, and I feel like a lot of times, the puzzle pieces just do not all fit together for me. Many older nurses tell me that one day, I will see "the whole puzzle". Looking back, I feel SO stupid and like a failure. I literally cannot stop thinking about this, and I usually am fairly good at not bringing work home. Can an experienced or new nurse offer some advice here- I just want to know if I was a horrible nurse or if this is a new nurse mistake that can be fixed?!?!
HELP!