Lonely and stressed

Published

Hi,

I've been a nurse for 2 years in a cardiac and medical sugical floor. It's very stressful work and on top of that there's personalities clashes. I feel lonely that I don't fit into the click that hang out at the front desk and gossip and backstab. I'm not that kind of person and don't like to repeat gossip. I get along with about half the nurses on the floor and the other half are ok. I just feel left out that I don't hang out a the front desk.... The nurses I get a long with say they come to work to work.

I had a conflict with the charge RN the other day over my assignments and she started banging her fist on her desk, I cried a little recomposed myself and went on the rest of my day. I spoke with another RN about equitable assignments and she said you have to have relationships with certain people, I'm guessing the charge RN, but I don't think this is fair. I heard a lot of time when this charge RN takes pt, she' is incompetant.

I'm considering leaving to a clinic job but I heard clinics are for nurses who are burned out. I feel like I'm not learning on my floor because I'm constantly running, eating on the run and stressed.

Any advice or similar experience?

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I know what's it like to not fit in. Is it possible you can develop friendships outside of your job? Maybe reconnect from someone from nursing school?

Secondly, it's a good thing you don't gossip and is not part of that clique. That's not professional behavior. Don't worry about not fitting in to that type of environment.

I suggest you try to connect with the other nurses who come to work and do their job and go home. Keep your head to the grind, watch your back, keep your mouth closed, and buy your time while looking for other positions. If you want a clinic job, I say go for it. I do not think clinic jobs are for those who are burned out.

Keep your head up and good luck!

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Thanks for your encouragement.

I'm afraid going into clinics I would lose my skills and work intermittent pool at another hospital doing floor nursing to keep my skills up. What do you think?

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Specializes in Trauma, ICU, Critical Care, Recovery.

If you are not enjoying your work environment, but like your Nursing job, consider transferring to another area in the hospital, or going to another hospital completely. You'll eventually find a group of Nurses with whom you can connect with, and who don't engage in unprofessional behavior. There are nasty, backstabbing, gossipy, tyrant Nurses everywhere, but they are usually outnumbered. As long as their numbers remain low on a unit, things will run smoothly. :nurse:

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Specializes in pulm/cardiology pcu, surgical onc.

I'm sorry you're going through this at your job. I'm also sorry that you're giving the gossiping co-workers the power to make you feel this way. Your job is not a popularity contest and you must learn to stop seeing it as such. Do not feel lonely just because you dont fit in with the *in* cliquey gossip mongers. What about your other co-workers who don't gossip. Befriend them, there is strength in numbers.

It's not right that you don't get fair assignments but rise above them and look for work elsewhere (without burning any bridges) if you can't tolerate this toxic unit any longer.

Work is only a small part of your life or it can consume it but only if you let it.

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Please google workplace mobbing, and study defending yourself

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Stella!!!!!!!!!! ( I always wanted to do that for a moment i felt like Marlon Brando) I read you post and i do feel for you to a point. Stella i bet your a quite person and really reserved. What you need to do is put yourself out there I mean don't fall in to the Drama of gossip and backstabbing. Try to make friends with people you think you can trust. Keep it on a professional level.

Don't try to talk about personal things like family friends and so on i mean keep it short Like grad kids heck we all love them i have a few my own but i hate the person who has to show every picture to everyone understand. And don't worry so much about fitting in and being in a clique. Cliques are for losers who rather follow then lead and be their own person and i believe your a leader.

Clinical Nurses are not burned out if you were to talk to them you will find most of them want to be a nurse and not get caught up in all the drama that the Hospitals and LTC's bring.

Some of them are going back to school and the hours fit their lifestyle. I feel if you want to go clinical then go. As far as losing your skills most hospitals have classes to keep your skills up and some state's have CEU's you can do. Hey good luck in whatever you decide to do. These are my thoughts use them as you wish. and Yes ( I did say Cliques are for losers) In case any of you didn't read that part right.

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Specializes in pulm/cardiology pcu, surgical onc.

I agree with KarmaWiseRaven about keeping your personal life out of the workplace. I only share generalized stuff about my children, keep private pics off facebook (as some co-workers are FB 'friends'). While I enjoy spending time with my co-workers at work I do not socialize with them outside of work, although I get plenty of invitations. There have been times in the past that I did go out after work for drinks etc and all it was pretty much was a bit%#fest about work and gossip. That is when I found myself getting caught up in workplace politics and seeing my co-workers with less respect due to TMI given/seen.

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You need to get used to people being mean to you in nursing, or just find a new position if you cannot. Nurses are very cliquey from my observation. Any sign of weakness will single you out for ridicule. What I do is just keep my mouth shut unless it's work related or light pleasantries, don't talk crap about anyone, and do you're work as if it's the only thing on your mind.

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Specializes in M/S, ICU, ICP.
hi,

i've been a nurse for 2 years in a cardiac and medical sugical floor. it's very stressful work and on top of that there's personalities clashes. i feel lonely that i don't fit into the click that hang out at the front desk and gossip and backstab. i'm not that kind of person and don't like to repeat gossip. i get along with about half the nurses on the floor and the other half are ok. i just feel left out that i don't hang out a the front desk.... the nurses i get a long with say they come to work to work.

i had a conflict with the charge rn the other day over my assignments and she started banging her fist on her desk, i cried a little recomposed myself and went on the rest of my day. i spoke with another rn about equitable assignments and she said you have to have relationships with certain people, i'm guessing the charge rn, but i don't think this is fair. i heard a lot of time when this charge rn takes pt, she' is incompetant.

i'm considering leaving to a clinic job but i heard clinics are for nurses who are burned out. i feel like i'm not learning on my floor because i'm constantly running, eating on the run and stressed.

any advice or similar experience?

i am so sorry that you are having to go though this. i think this is where the old comment about nurses eating their young started from. young doesn't have to be an age, it can imply just new to the floor or unit as well. it always confuses me the way people act. nursing is really emotionally, mentality, and physically draining and having co-workers who are two-faced and backstabbing only adds to the stress. sadly these attitudes and problems happen in more than just the healthcare field.

try and find some psychology or management classes on assertiveness and conflict resolution, or try some private counseling or eap services at your facility. "people skills" are not taught in nursing school and it happens to all of us. i often joke that the only reason i never miss a meeting at work is so i won't be on the menu. if it is any consolation, learning that it is really more a problem with "them" and not you may help.

good luck and hang in there.

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Nursing is what you do to pay your bills. It matters not where you work as a nurse to pay your bills. If a clinic has more "perks" for you and the life you want, work at the clinic.

Remember the nurses who try to tell you that working "somewhere else" is for burned out nurses, are usually in dire need of antipsychotic medication. I say this only half joking. Nursing attracts more mentally "unusual" people than most other professions, and that is the sorry truth.

So, OP. If you worked in a psych inpatient ward, would you take career/life advice from a psychotic?

... knew you'd say no.

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The word "lonely" caught my eye.

How is your life outside of nursing/work?

Do you have a network of friends, family, community and hobbies to give you support? A stressful job is more tolerable if you have a satisfying life outside of work.

Unless your workplace is unusual, it will not satisfy your needs for belonging, companionship etc.

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