Intent to take in text

[Ward05]

Hello, I have something embarrassing I really need advice on. I’m going to just be completely honest here. I had an addiction to pills and have been in treatment With suboxone. I went off treatment to try and Just be clean and was doing well. Well I worked at a nursing home and a resident and I developed a friendship and talked on messagener on facebook (I realize how being friends with a resident like this was a huge mistake) somehow we got to talking about pills and I don’t know... anyways I have some texts being leaked. An employee got fired and was very bitter and thought I told on her (which I didn’t but she’s out for revenge on many people) and she’s friends with this resident. She decided to leak the messages to my bosses boss. My boss has always had my back but since they were leaked to the hire ups they have to report me to the BON. The texts are bad. They say stuff like talking about how much he would sell his pills and it basically shows intent of me buying them. I do realize I have dug myself a huge whole and have been in a huge depression over this. I just wanna know if you guys things these messages will hold up against me? There’s a few messages and they span over a two month period from like feb-April so they are kinda old. I’m pretty sure all these have against me is his word and these text messages. I was drug tested there and always negative. I have a lawyer. My boss called me yesterday to update me that the BON is still gathering all the information they need and I will probably except a call from them soon. What do you guys think will happen? Will I get a criminal charge? Lose my license permanently, or for two years? Will they say it’s not enough evidence or be generous because I am in treatment? I resigned at that job and currently work at a new job but I know I will prob have action against me soon. Any advice is welcome.... ?

Since that happen I am back in treatment t and have been doing well. This incident happened like sept 3rd? 

[K. Everly, BSN, RN]

I appreciate the honesty. Sounds like you know it was a grave mistake for several reasons and it's a good sign that you have personal insight about that so you won't find yourself in that position again.

From what I've seen and heard, I highly doubt the BON is going to drop it because you are in treatment or they don't feel they have enough evidence. The important thing now is mounting an aggressive defense, IMO. Your attorney should be advising you on what TO say and what NOT to say to the BON, that resident, your former and current employer etc. 

If you feel your current legal representation has not given you solid advice, or seemed very knowledgeable about how to maneuver this thing, I would seek new counsel. It will make all the difference. I regret getting hooked up with a lawyer who was not nearly aggressive enough on my behalf and basically helped me to bury myself. 

[rn1965, ADN]

Get an attorney.  And, congrats on recognizing the issue and seeking help.  The BON can also come after you for crossing boundaries with a patient.

Take care of yourself and I wish you well!

[forever humble]

Are you currently in your state's monitoring program for drug abuse?   If you are this could be problematic, especially if it's reasonable to suspect you were trying to buy pills based on your texts.   I would get a lawyer experienced with the nursing board and has a background in drugs/criminal defense.  If I were you I would keep your mouth shut, keep your social media G rated and let your attorney speak on your behalf.   If there is a way to throw in a few extra drug tests I would do that too!

Wishing you the best 

xoxo

[guest1153676, ASN]

thanks for sharing, we are not here to judge, but here for support. if you would like to chat please pm me.

hugs

[crazin01]

ditto forever humble.  However, the true optimist in me would like to think we're truly innocent until proven guilty, but that doesn't seem to be how the monitoring programs go...  I admit, it does not look good with texts that like, with a history of substance abuse.  But unless he's lying, saying you actually did buy pills or something more concrete, I'd like to think they could only get you for an inappropriate relationship with a resident.  But again, that's just me being optimistic.  

It may seem crazy expensive, but I'd say you should seriously get a good attorney & get in front of it.  I also wouldn't be surprised if it takes closer to 6-12 months to hear from the board.  They move like molasses most days...

best of luck... 

[Ward05]

Well guys finally after they filed a complaint in aug I just received a call from the BON. She wants to meet in person In public and talk about my old job and me as a person. I said I have a lawyer and asked if she could come and she knows the lawyer well. She asked for my Current address so I feel like I’m gonna get something in the mail soon. I was hoping after they dug around in September and stopped it was over with and they closed the case. Wish luck thinking. Now I’m 3 months pregnant and engaged and now I’m picturing myself 5 months pregnant in jail for 10 years

[K. Everly, BSN, RN]

14 minutes ago, Ward05 said:

Well guys finally after they filed a complaint in aug I just received a call from the BON. She wants to meet in person In public and talk about my old job and me as a person. I said I have a lawyer and asked if she could come and she knows the lawyer well. She asked for my Current address so I feel like I’m gonna get something in the mail soon. I was hoping after they dug around in September and stopped it was over with and they closed the case. Wish luck thinking. Now I’m 3 months pregnant and engaged and now I’m picturing myself 5 months pregnant in jail for 10 years

I'm so sorry it didn't end where it was before. My DUI from when I was 21 y.o. took them a year and a half to even process (I didn't go to jail when it happened & I never received anything in the mail so I thought maybe it was going away). I wasn't sentenced for nearly 2 years, and it impacted the trajectory of my recovery significantly to have that level of unknowns and anxiety floating around. 

The fact that they leave people hanging like this is not conducive to the supposed public safety they say they care about, or nurses mental health. It's incredibly difficult to live in limbo and I'm sorry for what you are going through. At the same time, the degree to which we can grow mentally and emotionally under the pressure of these situation can be a gift in disguise. It reminds me of how a diamond is created. What they create to break us we can use to our benefit. 

Whatever you do, try to immediately cut off at the pass any mental images or thoughts you have about yourself in prison. The likelihood of that is so far removed isn't not even a thought you are well served to entertain.

I often ask myself, as I'm sure many nurses in these situation do, "what is the worst that could happen in this situation?" That's sometimes not a comforting thought at all. So I follow it up with "what is the most likely thing that could happen?" That tends to put things in perspective for me. Even if the worst case scenario is the most likely, which it most often isn't, I ask myself questions about how I could cope with it, what has worked for me in the past, what strengths in me am I overlooking, and who could I call on to support me in the situation. 

I found these videos (along with all of this guys videos, really.) to be very helpful in allowing me to quiet my mind and accept what is, without worrying myself into oblivion: 

1) https://www.Youtube.com/watch?v=qvtLrm750wM

2) https://www.Youtube.com/watch?v=_Vus92sNoCg

3) https://www.Youtube.com/watch?v=58RytIerkmc

I know you didn't ask for a myriad of advice here, but I wish someone had shared these resources with me when I started this journey. I feel like a different person that I was 2 years ago as a result of practicing some of these things, despite the fact that my situation with the BON or court system hasn't changed much for the better from the outside looking in.