How We Can Make the Difference

I remember laying on the couch watching TV when I got the call. "It's back." was all he said.

I felt ice shooting through my veins as it sunk in. My very dear friend's mother had been in remission from ovarian cancer for almost 2 years and on a scheduled PET scan they found more tumors. She decided to begin chemotherapy immediately, we knew how agonizing it was to her to have to lose her hair again. But, she couldn't imagine leaving her only child and husband behind.

Being in nursing school, every new bit of information was like a knife in my heart. However, the doctor and family had a lot of hope for recovery. We all still had hope.

The next information to come was that she was not responding to the chemotherapy, they would have to try something else. Eventually, it came that she had to be hospitalized. She was in constant pain all the time. She had the most wonderful nurses, always came quickly with her scheduled medications, always came to answer the call light immediately and returned with her extra doses of pain medication.

Her PCTs were fabulous, always being as delicate as possible when turning her and handling her needs. One, in particular, was very personable to us and we thoroughly enjoyed when we saw her name on the board. She would sit with her whenever we needed to leave the room for a few minutes, she would stroke her arm and constantly used a swab to clean out her mouth and wet her lips. Basically, the healthcare team made themselves available whenever we needed them, but allowed us time alone when they weren't immediately needed. It seemed that they knew how very much we appreciated the privacy to talk with her and even sometimes just sit in silence.

I have had my fair share of dying patients in clinical and in my job, but it just wasn't the same, being someone I have known my entire life, someone I have had many conversations with over the years. Yet, those people treated her as if she was their loved one. They continuously tried to soothe our grief at the situation and often asked about the fond memories we had.

It has made a huge difference in how I will interact with my patient's families in the future. I never realized how important our role is in the families' life at this point. I always felt awkward and intruding when I came in to check on their family member. Now I realize how much healing I can do for everyone, not just the patient. Eventually, she was allowed to come home and have home health for a while until she finally passed away peacefully, and free of pain. Every single Nurse and multiple PCTs came to visit, called, or sent cards and food to the family. It was nice to know that even at her worst, she could make people love her.

I sincerely would like to thank every Doctor, NP, Nurse, Aide, Student and any other healthcare provider that has assisted families in time of heartache. I would also like to remind people that most of these Nurses were not specifically Hospice and still had a lot of comforts to offer to us. Her son has decided to pursue nursing as a result of these meaningful interactions. Although it was still a horrible thing to deal with, these people made the difference in how we handled her passing.