HELP... I am Grade obsessed

hrrizen · Sep 30, 2004

You will Get over it... after you get tired. I was that way as well my 1st year in school now i am ready for it to be over. i want the A but i have learned to accept the b and keep my sanity. I am an honor student and i have 2-8 credit classes to go and if i get 2 b's now ill still be an honor student .... you will be fine.

moonbunnie · Oct 1, 2004

i was obsessed in my pre-req's, because if you dont get good grades, you dont get accepted. but now that i am in the nursing program, i still really want A's, but i am realizing that if i get a few B's, i will still graduate and still even have a good GPA. I would rather do things like sleep, eat, and see my boyfriend once in a while than study all the time to make sure i get all A's. If you have kids and a family, then you should especially consider what is really important, spending some time with them, or making a perfect grade.

cherokeesummer · Oct 1, 2004

I'm learning that in order to be able to work full time and pay the bills and love my Hubby, I have to accept what I get if it is a B or even a C but I try for A's. I aim for them, but may not always get them.

I also have learned that the house will be a bit dirty, the food will be less nutritious (and faster) and leisure time has to be scheduled!

Jill1215 · Oct 1, 2004

I am the exact same way. I study 110% and if I do not make the grade I am very upset. I hate that I am like this. This semester we have had three tests. The first two tests I made the A's, the third test (taken just last week) I made an 84. I was so upset that it pretty much ruined my entire weekend. I know I should not be hard on myself over a B. In fact, when my fellow classmates get a B and are happy I am happy right there with them. I know a B is very very good. I am so sick of the pressure I put on myself I have decided to let it all go. I am no longer looking at my test grades. At my school the professors post them on WebCT and nowhere else. I am now having my husband check my grade, tell me if it was within passing range (70% or higher), and then I press with pride. I study as hard as I can. Whether I get a 96 or a 76 I study the same. I know there is probably nothing I could change about my study habits and therefore no longer look at my scores. I took a fundamentals test yesterday and my husband looked at my score for me. He told me it was in the good enough range and so I will continue on. I will no longer make myself believe I am only as worthy as whatever grade I get on a test. I feel much better right now than I ever have before after a test. I will now be able to focus on becoming the best nurse I can instead of the best nursing student.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 1, 2004

To be honest, I don't think you ever really get over it. It's in some of our makeup. I can tell you that each time I didn't make an A I was humbled and it made it easier the next time. I made straight As in nursing except for one time I missed it by two points and by then I was amazingly o.k. with it. Life went on. The world didn't end. I ended with a 3.8something when I wanted a 4.0. No biggie, it taught me a lot about life and acceptance. LOL

Now that I'm going back to school for RN to BSN, I try to do my very best, which often is As, but know life will go if I don't make an A.

Sooner or later you get tired of drying yourself crazy and accept life on life's terms, and accept that you aren't perfect. But I don't think you ever get over being grade obessed and loose that desire to make As. :)

Just remember to make a B, or less than 100 isn't failing.

CindyJRN · Oct 1, 2004

I accept my obsessiveness and move on! But to be fair, being an "adult" learner is different--failure is not an option. It is different to be paying out of one's own pocket and if you are like me, hubby and everyone else is watching you. I drove myself nuts over Chemistry earlier this summer because I did not want a failure on my transcripts. I dropped the class, had many conversations with my Program Manager and will try again next week. I get excited about those A's, just like I did as a teenager, but my husband and Grandma tell me "I wouldn't have expected you to make anything else." Gee, no pressure there.................BTW, I did not mention that I will be 36 years old next month!

JudithL_in_NH · Oct 1, 2004

My mother did punish me as a child for having less than A's (go in your room and don't come out until the grade is up) but I am 30 years old so you think I'd be over that by now....

I had a mother who'd scream "What do you mean you only got a 98! Why wasn't it 100?!" then smack me a few times for good measure (It was the 50s--it was fashionable and acceptable to smack kids around).

It's very hard for me to be accepting of anything less than an A--and I recognize that it's really almost an illness with me and a legacy of the way I was brought up. But life in general, and especially nursing school (no one in our class has an A average), generally humble you after a while.

Try to not pass this perfectionism/obsession on to your children; you, yourself, probably realize the psychological burden this is. I tell my three to do their best, and not worry about the grade. It's the learning that matters. Kids shouldn't beat themselves up over B's!

Best of luck in your program!

FutureNurse2005 · Oct 1, 2004

I'm that way too, except my reasoning is a little different. Most of my friends and family think that I will not graduate. They feel that I should focus my attention on my family and nothing else.

Well, I want to get the best graded possible to "show them" more or less that I can be a wonderful mother and be a wonderful student at the same time.

I just handed in my first assignment last night, and i'm already rethinking the entire thing! lol

good luck to you! those a's can be important!

ZootRN · Oct 1, 2004

I'm that way too, except my reasoning is a little different. Most of my friends and family think that I will not graduate. They feel that I should focus my attention on my family and nothing else.
Well, that must be hard! Good luck to you!

JoniL&DRN · Oct 1, 2004

I had a mother who'd scream "What do you mean you only got a 98! Why wasn't it 100?!" then smack me a few times for good measure (It was the 50s--it was fashionable and acceptable to smack kids around).
It's very hard for me to be accepting of anything less than an A--and I recognize that it's really almost an illness with me and a legacy of the way I was brought up. But life in general, and especially nursing school (no one in our class has an A average), generally humble you after a while.
Try to not pass this perfectionism/obsession on to your children; you, yourself, probably realize the psychological burden this is. I tell my three to do their best, and not worry about the grade. It's the learning that matters. Kids shouldn't beat themselves up over B's!
Best of luck in your program!

The funny thing is... I do the exact OPPOSITE to my kids. My daughter is the sweetest thing EVER who hates math and can't spell worth a darn and you know what I couldn't care LESS! Around our house we say "DYB" (do your best)... this only applies to kids though, not mom I guess. I don't push my kids AT ALL which might be a disadvantage for them but it certainly isn't worse that "get an A or go to your room."

I got a B on my Anatomy test this week and even my instructor pulled me aside and asked me what was wrong. (I was in fact having some medication related health problems that were causing vertigo and nausea but I hate to make excuses for myself when I know I am capable of that A). My husband, who is a super supportive guy, KNOWS too that I am capable of an A so whenever I say I did poorly on a test he says "Oh you did not, now stop it".... of course this time it kind of backfired on him when I actually DID get a B. I do think that more people are watching you as an adult student. Even my dad asked me what my grades were this morning and my mother in law called to see how I did on my anatomy test... it seems likr people everywhere are paying attention to my grades!

The poster who said she didn't pay attention to her grades at all might really be on to something. I don't know if I could resist looking though... but what a great idea! That way your focus is on the right thing not just the A or B.

JoniL&DRN · Oct 1, 2004

I'm that way too, except my reasoning is a little different. Most of my friends and family think that I will not graduate. They feel that I should focus my attention on my family and nothing else.
Well, I want to get the best graded possible to "show them" more or less that I can be a wonderful mother and be a wonderful student at the same time.
I just handed in my first assignment last night, and i'm already rethinking the entire thing! lol
good luck to you! those a's can be important!

Don't let them tell you you can't do it! You CAN and WILL!