Feeling dread all over again.

When I began my nursing career two years ago in surgery/postop I was a hot mess new grad. I was a nervous wreck, slow, and shy. That quickly changed, I became competent, confident, quick yet safe, and I developed an overall assertive and confident attitude. I went from dreading my shifts to being annoyed at having to see the same ole same ole. I was on top of my game!

I made a transition to ICU (trauma/surgical) about 6 weeks ago. At first I was excited and had healthy nervousness. I was so happy and looked forward to every shift. Slowly though I've developed a dread about going in to work. I can feel myself picking up more independence and responsibility and my preceptor to begin to cut the ties little by little. But I have dread. There is so much to do in one shift, so much responsibility and it's all in my hands. I'm having a reality shock, about how much responsibility I have. There is so much to learn and I know we haven't covered everything.

I wish I could enjoy ICU again like the beginning. I also miss my old floor so much and sometimes I really want to go back be just hug my old co workers which happen to be in the same hospital. I feel out of place still and still not used to my new co workers. I know it sounds silly but that's how I feel. I miss feeling comfortable on my old floor, miss my old co workers and the fun we had and miss their comforting presence. Here right now I feel alone and to fend for myself.

This was just a vent thread. Let's be honest.