Feeling so discouraged.

I keep telling myself, "you need to go study now" over and over, and yet I still haven't gotten off this couch!

I feel so discouraged right now, I feel like I just can't do it.

I am 24 years old, and I have 3 kids. I am a stay at home mother who's been on disability for epilepsy all my life. Just this year it was decided that I no longer suffer from the seizures, so I will be off of social security soon. I am determined to become an LPN (maybe in the future an RN), and it's something I really want.

My husband and I have struggled with our income ever since our first child, and all I've ever heard was, "well you should of thought about that before having more kids". That doesn't really help! We are not on food stamps, or any other government assistance program except medical for our children, and I'm being criticized for trying to recieve a federal grant?

I dropped out of high school when i was in 9th grade, because I had so many seizures and was so depressed. I got my GED in 2006, but honestly hadn't used any educational knowledge since then. I feel like my head is packed with ABCs and 123s from my children, and nothing else.

I've studied my butt off for 3 months and pretty much everything in the ATI manual makes sense to me, except the chemistry sections.

I was feeling so proud of myself. And then I took an online practice test from ATI. I failed it. (mostly due to the science section. oh my gosh i was not prepared for that!) What if I fail the real test? I don't want to let my kids down, I don't know what to do. I have NEVER worked a job my entire life. when I first started to study the manual I didn't know anything in that book. I completed the book twice, and feeling so good about myself. So, why did I fail the practice test?? Some of what I saw wasn't even covered iin the book, and this has me SCARED!!

It may seem silly, but I'm kind of panicing.