did you ever think it would be like this?

Well, if you're crazy, then you and I can share a room at the psych hospital

If things are going very well, then I'm fine, but you know how often that happens, right?

I always feel like I'm always on the edge of chaos, and it's a slippery edge indeed. I'm afraid I'll never get this down and if something dire happens, I won't know what to do. I worry constantly that I'm making a mistake.

We're understaffed (surprised??) and have a lot of opportunities to add extra shifts, but I can't imagine working more than 36 hours a week--more time at work means more opportunities to do something wrong .

This is definitely the hardest, scariest thing I've ever done.

I like nursing, don't misunderstand me, but my anxiety level is very high. I'm a big believer that things usually get better the more time and effort you devote to them, but I wish I were there already.

I think I'm probably my biggest critic and that doesn't help, either .

i like nursing too, i just feel a little duped. there's a shortage so they crank us out and promise all this great orientation and great pay. little did i know i would always feel like i was a huge liability, and always on the verge of having my license swept away by some imaginary board of nursing for accidentally pulling out 3 tylenols instead of 2 from the pyxis.

feeling inept sucks.

I go through times where I feel the same way. There is so much at stake for the patients and so much to know. The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know. I realized the other day how paranoid I am becoming.

I never thought it would be this hard, no. I'm in an ARNP program right now and I can't wait to do that instead--I DO enjoy being an RN, but a lot of times I feel like a service worker that parents (I'm in peds) just boss around, like a maid...instead of a trained professional. Sometimes nursing just feels demeaning. So, while I'm glad I'm getting the experience, after a few years I'll be glad to move on to being an ARNP! And no, that profession isn't perfect but I think it is a better match for me.

Heck no you are not a crazy newbie! I've been on my floor for 6 weeks and I truly dislike it! It's overwhelming to me! I'm not sure how much more I can put up with. I'm thinking that hospital nursing isn't for me, however, I'm not sure what kind of nursing is!

Glad to know I'm not alone in feeling that way. I'm a few months off orientation, and I already feel burned out.

There are a few times I have gone one step from walking out. I'm also in paeds (peds) and I feel I know nothing! But I think I have a supportive environment and that is helping me. I am an ex EN and ppl think, oh well, she's nursed before, she knows what she's doing. Huh? I never gave drugs before, I never dealt with little tiny sick ppl before, I have never had children so I am still trying to develop communication skills (learn how to play? LOL), I am still trying to figure out what the priorities are, and I find it so hard when I have to be involved in painful procedures which can be explained to an adult. For example, we had to give an IM antibiotic injection (we call it procaine penicillin here). I walked out of there close to tears.

And they tell me kids forget. Garbage. I remember a procedure I had as a child, in photographic detail. I can tell you where the window and the door was, that they wouldn't let my mother stay in the room, and even what colour the paint was. Now I figured I must have been about five or six. Spoke to my mother last night; she sounded shocked and said that I was 2 - 3 yrs!

So you are not crazy. Or if you are, then we are all one big happy family!

Hospital nursing is CRAZY. I, too, felt like a glorified maid who pushed pills. I got out of it and went into hospice. I really enjoy having freedom and autonomy, plus not having to be in close contact with all of the politics crud. I'm glad I got out of the hospital setting. There is hope!

It can certainly be overwhelming. I try not to allow myself to think too negatively - this is a VERY challenging profession in a VERY challenging environment. 95% of the time I feel positive, but occasionally suffer what I call a "blow to my morale". If you are feeling overwhelmed, I find it's much better to chalk it up to a tough night, a tough patient, an unsupportive co-worker, etc. If you sit there after a blow to morale and think about the huge picture - the nursing shortage, the class issues inherent in the profession, departmental in-fighting, etc - it just totally overwhelms. Take it one thing at a time - "OK, that sucked! I feel like a totally inept piece of dog poo. I'm going to get through the rest of my shift safely and learn what I can from this." I also have somebody I can vent to who is also a nurse (hi sis!!), and discuss issues with my preceptor as they come up.

Seek out support, and don't let yourself dwell on the negative.

TenCat, I was just thinking about getting BACK INTO hospital nursing!! Your post has me thinking!! I HATED the hospital, would cry in the med room, like the OP I would lay awake thinking of what I forgot and then dream about work only to wake up and do it all over again. I've been out of the hospital for 3 years now and I guess these memories are fading. I'll have to think about it some more I guess!!

:uhoh21:

Well, if you're crazy, then you and I can share a room at the psych hospital

Is there room for one more in there? I think I need a padded room. I am so tired every day. I don't know if I can keep up with the pace.

Is there room for one more in there? I think I need a padded room. I am so tired every day. I don't know if I can keep up with the pace.

I'm with you there!