Depressed and terrified

chrisrn24 · Nov 7, 2012

I used to cry too about it, and sometimes I would even end up crying at work. But now I'm fine. A lot of my fears were because I was being watched. As soon as I got on my own, I felt 100% better and way more confident.

RN2012Newbie · Nov 7, 2012

I always seems so depressed and terrified the day before I go to work. It comes to the point where I have to go to the restroom just thinking about it because I get so incredibly nervous. I'm still on orientation, and I feel like crying (I've had some crying moments already). It's fear of the unknown and just feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
Does anyone else feel this way??

You are not alone. I've been on my own for a little while now as a new grad and I still get very anxious before shifts. I get nauseous, have an upset stomach, and sometimes it can be so bad that I want to cry. You may have read a post I made recently... With time it does get better, yet I still have anxiety and its still pretty bad! So, you are not alone, I completely understand how you are feeling. I try to keep myself busy before my shift ( I work nights) if I'm not able to sleep. If I sit there doing nothing I seem to get more racing thoughts.

gigglestarsRN · Nov 7, 2012

You are not alone. From what I read, and what I have been experiencing as a new grad, I, too often feel that way. I get super stressed out, knowing I am being watching closely by everyone, as I am still on orientation. I find that when I am left alone for a long stretch I feel much more confident, as chrisrn24 mentioned. I hope it gets better once I am on my own, but I hear it does take awhle to loose that feeling. Hang in there, and know you are in good company! I have also read on this forum where experienced nurses have written they would expect a new grad to feel that way, and be wary of one who didn't :)

muffin_ · Nov 7, 2012

I'm a new grad nurse as well, and I get nervous before going in to work also. I've been told that being nervous is a good thing, it means that you're going to be careful and ask questions when you need to, the other nurses that I work with said that they'd be more concerned about an overly confident new grad than one who gets nervous. However, I think that if your nerves are too bad that it might be crippling and have a negative effect on your practice. Whenever I feel my nerves getting the best of me, I try to just think to myself that if I wasn't good enough, if I really did have no idea what I was doing, then I wouldn't have graduated, gotten my licence or gotten hired! It's also comforting to remember that almost every time another nurse has taught me something, they tell me that they learned this by making a mistake, it reminds me that EVERYONE makes mistakes, it's not just me.

So, just wondering, what is it that really scares you about going to work? I mean, what do you worry about happening? For me my biggest fear has been time management and not being able to get anything done on time, so I'm just wondering about your fears, lol!

Orange Tree · Nov 8, 2012

I cried every day on orientation. The good days were the ones when I was able to cry with no one knowing! It gets better :)

LaceyRN12 · Nov 8, 2012

Thanks so much for your input, everyone.

I think it's the constant fear of forgetting to do something crucial that really upsets me... and just plain feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to do everything. And "muffin_", you're right about nurses making mistakes and learning from that. I've been told that a lot as well. That makes me feel a little better. I guess I'm a little hard on myself. I've always wanted to force myself to learn things faster and better than what I am capable of. I always want to be "that girl who catches on quickly."

People tell me, "Oh, that's just how you feel about any new job." Yeah, but a NURSING job is so completely different. It's the whole REALITY SHOCK. I feel like I'm in a whole new nursing school.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Nov 8, 2012

i rarely is ever cried, i rarely do. but i did feel very overwhelmed and nauseated especially the day before during and after my shift. pretty much a sense of dread and anxiety for 5 months. as i got more competent and faster at everything it eased alot

RainMom · Nov 8, 2012

Sounds pretty normal to me! I didn't cry, but felt very anxious, shaky, stomach upset. I've been at this job just over a year now, so don't have that happen before a typical shift anymore. However, it returned for a time when I started having to charge frequently. And now, I finally am being scheduled for some 12 hr shifts instead of straight 8s; so on those nights, I feel like I'm back to square one learning the routine of 7p-11p.

It gets better; give it some time. Good Luck!

naptimeRN · Nov 10, 2012

I felt like that while on orientation. Once I got off orientation, I felt much less anxiety. Never thought that would be the case! I think though that Once you get into your own routine, it makes things much smoother and takes away some of the panic feeling.