Charting Bloopers

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Originally posted by AHarri66:

Found in the History and Physical section of a patient's chart who had experienced visual hallucinations while ill:

"Patient vehemently denies any auditory, tactile, or old factory hallucinations."

YIKES!

LOL, what about the new factory ones, sorry. I just had to say something... ?

I read one the other day, from a history and physical:

"Has remote family history of broken ankle"

Geez.....my sister got 3 stitches in her ear lobe after a go-cart accident in 1973.....

hummmm.....whould that effect my current hospitalization I wonder?

He (the MD) must have been tired because the whole H&P was riddled with strange, disjointed thoughts and statements.

I guess he'll fix it when he signs it.

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Originally posted by ClariceS:

I recently saw a "add 20 mEq Kay Ciel to existing IVF" order also. Maybe these docs were trained at the same place.

We also had an order recently that to us really brought into question the integrity of the writer. The order was for "1 baked potato p.o. bid". First, where else would a baked potato go  and secondly, dietary requests do not need to be written by a doc in the orders sheet!

In reference to the potato order......we have a palliative care coordinator (an RN) who is a little condesending at times. Anyway, I saw an order from her once for "back rubs PRN". A little insulting in my mind. We joked that she would start ordering "tissue to nose PRN" and other little things like that.

Two GPs used to pass an lol back and forth who was a rather difficult person. In one memorable note was written "patient complains of a bowel movement that coiled in the toilet and hissed like a snake... Back to you Vern"

 This was charted in nursing notes: "Physician here a 0900. Passing flatus". Also this was stated in a patient history: "she has difficulty swallowing her pillows".

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Originally posted by Janet Barclay:

Two GPs used to pass an LOL back and forth who was a rather difficult person. In one memorable note was written "patient complains of a bowel movement that coiled in the toilet and hissed like a snake... Back to you Vern"

Bwah ha ha ha! I love that one. I have a few of these....

In doing a routine progress note one AM, the very tired intern put the date as being some 12 year prior to the actual one. The cardiologist circled it and wrote in the margin, "Bad call night?"

One of the vascular surgery residents wrote as a post-op order: "NPO until awake." Aw, gee, but I usually like to wake up my post-op pts by stuffing sandwiches down their throats to see if they have a gag reflex yet!

Our resp. therapy dept. actually used to keep a log book with copies of hilarious MD orders in it. One of the keepers: "Put pt on 15% O2 by mask." Written next to it were suggestions as to how exactly one might accomplish that--hook up to suction, bleed in a little nitrous or helium to cut the room-air O2, other?

Hilarious! Here's cute one from school. The pre-schoolers were waiting their turns for a health assessment. The nurse was using tongue blades through the hair to check for pediculosis, one boy said" what is she doing," a little girl answered as if he was stupid_"CHECKING FOR HEADLIGHTS"!

I didn't find any cars that day lol!

One of our cardiologist's had used his new voice activated printer on his personal laptop to print out an H&P. We were amused to read that the patient had been admitted for "rectal fibrillation". Wonder how many joules it takes to convert that..... ?

LOL... a nurse that I have worked with for a long time once had a crush on a very attractive resident and used to complain of ...Labial fibrillation 

Everyone knows how we call a really bad patient a "train wreck"...well, one of the assignments I had, there was a new person in the ED, and when the pt was helicoptered in, the flight nurse said there was a train wreck on the way, and the ED clerk put "Train Accident" as the reason for admission.

In my younger days, I had this surgical resident who would follow me around (he followed any female around) and claimed he could put me in lady partsl fibrillation 

Oh man this page is hilarious! Unfortunately I don't have any funny stories that I can think of, but please keep me laughing!

Amanda